DD6 and her very thick, afro, very coarse hair - please help

[Lavendergrey]

I've read so many of these threads to try to find some answers but so far havent found 'it'!

My DD is mixed race (Dad black) but her hair is very difficult for me to manage. I've tried all sorts of lotions and potions and have taken her to some very unreasonable and insensitive, critical afrocaribbean hairdressers which has been really disappointing and upsetting.

Thing is, what is most important to me is that she doesnt think her hair is a 'problem' or is 'difficult' - thus im desperate to find out how to care for her hair properly - how to make it look nice, daily. I dont want to relax it so i bought some product from the States which promised to texturise it without chemicals. Not really worked.

Her hair is so very very thick. And its dry despite me putting moisturisers on it daily. I wash and condition it once a week and attempt to comb it through after conditioning. Despite this her hair goes very dreadlocky even after a couple of days. I cut it into a shoulder length bob but its as thick as ever. I wrap it up at night but when i take the wrap off her hair has 'formed' into the shape iyswim and is very difficult to manage.

Its too thick to put into two bunches, one at either side. Her curls arent really defined and i simply couldnt even think about combing it through at all, its too thick and luggy.

Please, if you have any thoughts or advice i'd sincerely appreciate it. I want my daughter to love her hair and I want to love it too :)

Hi
It is trial and error with afro hair. I have two dds' with completely different hair.

DD1 has more dry and tight curly hair...where dd2 has loose practically straight hair (pic on profile of her after a quick blow dry)

DD1,now 25, found this method helpful,and she went to a (very expensive) speciality hairdresser in Knightsbridge (Junior something) who told her her hair was fine

This is what she found to work somewhat....secret apparently leave conditioner in

here

Hi Crazynana - wow, i think you may have helped me crack the problem. Ive just ordered the book now from Amazon as everything on her website i can relate to.

Thank you so very much - i'll let you know

x

Would braids or dreads be out of the question for her? DP has had his shoulder length dreads for 20 or so years and they're really really easy

You are very welcome

My dd's hair is a thick cork screw type. She needs her hair sprayed with water and leave in conditioner and then brushed (with a tangle teezer brush), every morning (which is a total nightmare and takes about 15 minutes). I then let it dry naturally while she eats her breakfast etc and then dry it with a diffuser attachment before we leave. She wakes up every morning with it tangled and dreaded, but after this it looks really beautiful. I'm really trying to encourage her to try getting it braided, but right now she's not interested.

crazynana - I was just about to post for advise about DD; she has been no poo for ages and used that site to source combing & rinsing conditioners

But for the last few months it has all gone wrong, dry scalp, bits in her hair & it doesn't comb well; we have been going spare

BUT on the site I read that the condition we are using has changed it's ingredients and is no good for combing any more - this is such a relief & we have a new combing conditioner to try at the weekend (so glad her hair hasn't changed)

Good for you for wanting to help her maintain a positive POV re: her hair. As a black woman who grew up amongst white people, I've only now embraced my
hair and stopped feeling ashamed/embarrassed that it's not silk smooth like my white friends.

The most important thing with coarse Afro hair is moisture. Make sure you're not using shampoos with sulfates as it strips all moisture from the hair. You also don't want to be using anything with alcohol. I cannot recommend enough Aveda Brilliant Damage Control, Aveda Brilliant Universal Creme and Hot Six Oil. Natural coconut oil and olive oil are also good. I've tried a lot of products and the ones I recommend by Aveda really work wonders and are worth the £££ buy remember a little goes a LONG way.

As a regime I would recommend:

1. Wash once per week with sulfate free shampoo and a deep conditioning treatment

1. Use Aveda Damage Control to comb out hair post cleansing

1. While hair is wet section and braid or twist (check YouTube as great resource for styles as is Curly Nikki blog). Only use a wide tooth comb. Anything else will damage the hair. or put it in an easy style that will last 2-3 days (eg ponytail, single or double French braids, etc).

make sure you always always always put a silk scarf on hair at night. This will help lock in moisture as well as preserve style so you're not having to do hair every day.

1. Every 2-3 days spray a mixture of Aveda Damage Remedy and water on hair and comb through. Use a mixture of Aveda styling Creme and Hot Six oil after and then restyle. Again, cover with scarf.

Afro hair is a project from cradle to grave. Remember the longer it is the easier it is to manage because you can always wash, comb and ponytail. Harder to do that with short hair

Here are some links:

Hot Six
www.pakcosmetics.com/brand/Bronner-Bros/African-Royale/African-Royale-Hot-Six-Oil.html

Curly Nikki
www.curlynikki.com/

Great resource: [http://www.curlynikki.com/search/label/Hair%20Tips]]

Sorry, here it is with link:

resource: [http://www.curlynikki.com/search/label/Hair%20Tips

We're a fan of twists. They're (relatively) quick, easy and keep the hair from tangling too much.
Also when we do de-tangle we section the wet, conditioned hair into 4 and then section each of those sections into another 4 so only working with a small amount of hair at a time.