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Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

Black Dad / White Mum - baby very white/light skinned.

83 replies

Nadene · 27/09/2005 16:06

I've heard it takes a while for the true colour to come out in the skin. Anyone know what age this happens - purely out of interest.

OP posts:
plummymummy · 06/10/2006 15:51

ds is dark but has light brown fluffy hair (dh black (darkish) me pale as a ghost. It's interesting how genetics work.

josephjaidensmum · 06/10/2006 19:25

ds who is 13months now was darker when he was born than he is now, im white britsh, dad black african, ds looks slightly tanned with coarse brown hair. you can hardly tell hes mixed. had a few funny comments like isnt he light? is that the dad?
i think that its 18months that it all settles it self out.
my son had small brown patches as well but these have gone away....
my sister is mixed race and has just had a baby one month old and has patches of darker skin on her ,,darker than her mum.
iyou can never guess genetics ,

curlysmum · 12/10/2006 11:54

Hi , my daughter is four now, my family are Irish , I'm pale with black hair , my DD father's family are from Jamaica. My daughter was whiter than me for about a year and had no colour really till she was 18 months then her hair also became curly and was previously straight. It was quite a transformation, her hair is now a stunning rich red/brown colour and its very odd as I have been asked by strangers at least 5-6 times if her hair is dyed, like as if someone would dye a 4 year olds hair, people do ask some ridiculous questions.

helling · 14/10/2006 20:45

Yeah, my baby has red highlights in his curly black hair too! V noticeable in sunlight. Guess that's the Irish genes! (I'm ginger) People can ask silly questions though, can't they!

speedymama · 17/10/2006 16:33

I'm black and DH is white. We have 2yo twin boys. One is dark with brown eyes like me and the other is white with blue eyes like DH. The fairer one also has fair hair but it is wirey, very curly and very dry. He also has a little stubby nose and full lips like his brother. The darker one's hair is finer with looser curls but still a pain to manage. Consequently I cane row their hair and will cut it short when I can bring myself to do it.

kikki · 31/10/2006 19:17

My husband is very dark(Jamaican nationality). I am mixed race(Scary spice girl colour) the product of a white father(brown hair) and black mother. My husband almost passed out on the delivery room floor when our son was born with white skin and straight black hair. The skin just below his finger and toe nails was slightly darker and over the following six months his skin began to darken. His hair became curly and turned brown after eight months and now that he is four he is now a very slightly darker shade than me. Apart from the fact that he looks like my husband you would never imagine(me included) that we would produce such a fair little boy.

cat64 · 31/10/2006 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tjgx · 01/11/2006 12:37

Hi guys im white blonde hair my x is mixed race his dad black n his mum white..ive a ds to him who is very dark skinned considering his dad being mixed..and people always comment on that saying o you wouldnt think hes my ds dad...as ds so dark..btw ds is 16months...i also am not sure how 2 comment 2 people when this question of my sons race comes up..i always just say hes mixed race..then when people say no his dad is..i get confused with this..as my son grows how do i say it 2 him is he mixed race..i think so see now im babbling hahaha..but i get fed up having to explain all the time as strangers say 2 me where does ds dad come from i say hes mixed born england and i always get the same weird look..the only reason i get fed up is because of the reaction when i give my answer..has any1 else had this happen to them n also if though x is mixed im white do you say ds is mixed..i dont know see i get confused sorry huys

kikki · 01/11/2006 14:25

Hi tigx

I think if you are white and the father of your ds is mixed race, people tend to say that she is quarter-caste(don't shoot me for saying this as some people take great offense to saying, half-caste etc).
I am mixed race/half caste/whatever and so is my cousin. Her mother and mine are sisters(both black) and our Dads are both white. I am alot darker than she is and yet her eldest daughter(who's father is black) is darker than my son(who's father is also black.
She is not with the father of her daughter and remarried a white man. They have three children together who look white and have blonde or ginger hair. My cousin took her son(white and blonde with blue eyes) to the doctor once and the doctor said to my cousin "where is the boys mother!" No matter what the childs geneology you can't assume or predict what shade they will become.

Caligirl99 · 17/10/2007 23:00

I'm very Native American and very tan and my husband is a very white Scotsman with. Our son resembles both of us. I have very dark brown eyes, my husband has blue eyes and our son has greenish/brown eyes. My husband has dirty blonde, I have black hair, and our son has light/med brown hair. His complexion is literally in between, but looks more whiter than tan. Everywhere we go, we are told how beautiful he is by people of all ages and ethnicities. When he is with my husband, no one asks if he is multi-racial, but when I am with him people ask if his father is white. Or if we are shopping and my husband is holding him while I have run off to get something, upon my return, the person talking to my husband is surprised to hear I am the mother. I have started to get really annoyed by all of this and I have even wondered if maybe to people my son does not look a lot like me. His features are not necessarily defined, but he does resemble my husband when he was a baby. I am used to getting stared at constantly because I am the only tan person for blocks in my neighborhood in California and it did not bother me much in the past, now that I have a child and I get asked really stupid questions about his ethnic background, I have become extremely sensitive about being starred at and I automatically assume it is negative. What bother's me the most is that I am worried my son may develop a chip himself. What do you do to cope with stares if you get them? Is anyone else here living in a community where you stand out? Do any of you purposely visit multi-racial areas so that your child can identify with kids there? I am worried about my son not identifying with children here because he does look a little different. Also, does anyone else here get really ticked that people even ask questions. I would never stare at anyone or question the ethnic background of anyone. The truth is I don't really care about a person's ethnicity, just how good of a person he/she is.

gerts · 27/10/2007 19:05

helling, the areas of brown are called "mongolian blue spots", all of mine had them.
they even out aver time .

when my twins were born one was white, the other was very dark brown!

by the time they were about 2 the lighter lad had darkened.

LoveAngel · 27/10/2007 20:47

My son was extremely fair at birth with thick, dead straight jet black hair. At 2 and a half. he is still very pale (a very pale olive is how I would describe it), although his hair has become big, loose ringlets. I don't think all mixed race children necessarily 'darken up' as time goes on. There is such a variation in genes and you just don't know what skin tone / hair type a mixed race child will have.

claireybee · 30/10/2007 11:45

DH is black African (but more brown than black) and I am (very) white English. DD was born very very pale with straight black hair. Over time her hair has got lighter and more afro in texture and her skin has got darker, but she is still very pale-is the same colour as a white person with a tan I suppose. MIL always comments on how white she is, but MIL herself is very pale so not sure why she is so surprised!

Wow just saw this thread was started over 2 years ago!

k01 · 28/07/2008 16:09

hi all
my son is now 10 months old im white blue eyes his dads mixed race and our son was born white blue eyes and red hair
he is still the same his hair is very very curly but no colour do u think this will change?

motherinferior · 28/07/2008 16:17

I didn't (see above). I'm now 45 and I still have white skin and red hair.

I am quite fabulously gorgeous, though, and have produced mixed-race kids to die for.

k01 · 28/07/2008 16:26

cool i love his hair and his col his gorgeous i just get a bit fed up with people asking questions about him all the time as my partners dad is VERY dark from barbados yet his mums white irish which is where the hair prob cam from we love him to bits i think its going to be harder for my partner as k grows up as he already gets funny looks and people assuming his not the dad which is a shame really anything is possible with mixed race children but i think people went by my partners sis kids as her son is dark like my partner yet his dads white and his sis is dark yet her dads mixed race too.

k01 · 04/08/2008 16:34

:-0

3littlefrogs · 07/09/2008 18:05

I think you get a slightly different mixture with each child, and they change a lot in the first 2-3 years.

Sweetie34 · 26/11/2008 09:16

I have a beautiful little girl who s 2yrs 4 months old. She was born very very pale. So pale, in fact, taht some of the nurses didn't think she was mine (I am black). She is now a little darker than she was, but is still, in effect 'white'.

It was great when I used to breadtfeed her i public. This would evoke many stares which I found amusing!

My DD is darker on some areas (arms, thighs) but I think she will always be pale.

I am pregnant again and I am looking forward to the birth and seeing what shade the baby is ALMOST as much as I finding out the sex!!

Gives people something to talk about

Sweetie34 · 26/11/2008 09:18

I have a beautiful little girl who s 2yrs 4 months old. She was born very very pale. So pale, in fact, taht some of the nurses didn't think she was mine (I am black). She is now a little darker than she was, but is still, in effect 'white'.

It was great when I used to breadtfeed her i public. This would evoke many stares which I found amusing!

My DD is darker on some areas (arms, thighs) but I think she will always be pale.

I am pregnant again and I am looking forward to the birth and seeing what shade the baby is ALMOST as much as I finding out the sex!!

Gives people something to talk about

guyFAwkesreQuiem · 26/11/2008 09:30

I'm found that my 3 have got darker as they've got older. Think DS1 (8) is as dark as he's going to be now, although a good sunny summer seems to make him darker still. However, each DS has been progressively light, so DS2 is lighter than DS1 was at the sane age, and DS3 is lighter than either of the other 2 were at the age he is now (if that' makes sense).

Their hair has got lighter too - DS1 has almost jet black hair, DS2's is dark brown, and DS3's quite a light brown. Have come to the conclusion that if exH and I had continued to have more children I would eventually have ended up with a white, blonde haired children

littlemissm · 30/11/2008 13:50

I have 5 kids oldest 1 is very light blue eyed blonde afro . second is brown skinned dark eyes dark hair. Twins are brown skinned hazel eyes brown hair & baby is blue eyed & white skinned you can only see her colour when u put her nxt to a white person still waiting on the hair cos is too short to see how it will turn out. All same dad its just how it turns out sometimes.

dsrplus8 · 01/12/2008 12:42

im white, (ginger blue eyes) my exh is white(brown hair brown eyes) we have 3dc ,2 girls blue eyes pale skin,one ginger one blonde, our son has tanned skin(like italian or greak)and green eyes.so is darker than both his parents. my cousin who is anglo asian has paler skin and blue eyes and his ds is blonde!dont think there are "rules" as such but who cares anyway? all kids are fab!!!

MissM · 08/12/2008 20:12

This is really interesting. My DCs seem to have got lighter as they've got older! DS had black black hair at birth but now it's more light brown with quite auburn highlights. DD's is a bit darker but not much. Their skin is more olivey like mine but I thought it would be dark like their dad's (he's Asian). To be honest they only look mixed race when you see them next to white white children - I think people probably think they're Italian or Spanish or something until they see DH.

sugar7 · 04/12/2010 23:34

Im White british with curly brown hair, blue/grey eyes and my partner is very dark Black (Barbados).
My mum has red on her side and my partner said he has a cousin with deep red hair.
We have a 5 month old son who is the same colour white as me and curly auburn hair and dark brown eyes.
Everyone always says 'Ah dont worry, He'l get darker" and some people even ask if I messed around which is very upsetting for us as you can imagine!!
So far he hasn;t got any darker and I love him to bits.
I guess we will all have to get used to all the questions...!

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