Boosting positive self image when kids start school

[motherunearthed]

My DS started reception in September and seems to be doing well. His class is mostly white, with a couple of mixed race children. A few weeks ago he said to me have i got a brown face or a white face mum - I said you have a beautiful brown face. Thought nothing else of it, then we were playing a computer game and you had to make the character look like yourself - he chose white skin and brown hair - i didn't say anything, then when i chose brown skin and black hair for myself he went mad! He insisted that I choose a white face and brown hair - i said no because i have brown skin and black hair and that's how mummy looks.

When he calmed down we had a chat about being Indian and looked at some photos of our family and i explained that people in the world are different - he is only 4 so tried to pitch it at his level. He seemed to be happy enough with my explanation.

Then yesterday he said that a child in his class said he couldn't come to his party cos he has a brown face! I was a little upset by this as i did not think that the colour of his skin would be such an issue - as it was when i went to school.

Does anybody have any experience of this? It has only become an issue since he started school. Should i be doing something to encourage him to have a positive self image regarding his ethnicity, or should i not make an issue of it?

My friend is indian and she had the same problems with her doughter at school. She went and spoke to the teacher about this and the school has taken active steps to talk about other cultures to kids. You should do the same, approach the school and even offer to help to explain things from your culture to kids in a fun way.

It will make your kid proud to see you there along side the teacher as well

We had a similar issue - I wrote to the headteacher and it was taken very seriously and the whole school did a lot of work and discussion on race/culture, acceptance of each other, etc etc.

My daughter went through the same thing when she went into reception (shes half Chinese)
It was heartbreaking hearing her say she just wanted to be white like all the other kids cause about 99% of the school is just white.

Thankfully after talking to her teacher about it both myself and the staff did alot of stuff about Chinese new year and Chinese culture which seemed to help (plus we took her to Hong Kong which did help alot)
She is now 8yrs old and is very prund to be mixed and sharing it with anyone who will listen, I think the age factor has also helped now.

We now have a 5 week old son and I am bracing myself for if the same thing happens again

Slightly different situation here, in that I am Jewish, dh is not, we are bringing the dc up Jewish and they are the only Jews in their schools. So while we do not appear different, we are, and we don't hide it.

My dc go to activities at our synagogue, so that they don't feel they are always different, and as a result they feel comfortable with the difference because they can see that it is a normal thing and OK to be different.

I make myself available to the schools to talk about whatever aspect of Judaism interests them. Usually this means talking about our festivals, bringing in artefacts and foods for the children to experience.

Also, when my dc felt uncomfortable that all the Bible stories in the school library were from a Christian perspective, I donated a Jewish children's bible and some age-appropriate story books explaining some of the festivals and practices.

Thanks for all the suggestions. We do lots of things within our faith and with our extended family, so out of school he seems to be content with who he is. I was a bit unsure about talking to his teacher, as i didn't want to appear overly sensitive. However I am having a meeting with her tomorrow and hopefully things will improve.