What am I going to do?

[juneybean]

My mother has been using my two credit cards for a few years in order to help my credit rating and for her to be able to buy products for her business.

I accidently opened the credit card statement for one the other day and it was just over £4,000.

I then looked at the other one and its just under £4,000.

What the hell am I going to do? She's never going to be able to pay it off and obviously its in my name.

Although one card was an additional card holder in her name.

But regardless, I don't understand how she hasn't kept on top of it.

When I confronted her she went on the defensive asking me if I expected her to sell the house. But jesus she has both her and my dads wage and his army pension and yet she's gotten into so much debt.

I feel sick. I've had a migraine all day worrying about the hell I am meant to do. I hate debt, this is why I didn't use the cards!!!!!

First of all you need to cut up the cards. You already know that you are responsible for this debt as the cards are in your name and you allowed her to use them, I think that you need to discuss a repayment plan with her that covers the minimum payments and some extra so they are paid off quickly. Can you get the balances transferred to another card with a 0% interest (if they still exist)? If not, pay more off on the card with the higher interest rate.

I don't really know much about money, can I get both transferred to one card with 0% interest?

Do they both have 4k limits or has she gone through their limits?

i don't know if you can transfer both amounts onto one card and get 0% for it all

you may need 2 new cards with a 0% on transfers and do each one

then, as pp says, cut up the cards and get your mum to agree a repayment scheme

bear in mind though that cards that accept balance transfers for 0% normally have a charge which will be a percentage of the amount you are transferring. this is probably going to work out at less than the interest you'd pay, but it's there nonetheless

also, it will only be 0% for a set period... so you'd need to check how long before it runs out and either plan on paying the balance off before then, or having to switch to yet another 0% card

obviously if you can afford to pay any of this off yourself now that would be good too and your mum could pay you back because the less you have to start with the ebtter

Sorry you have found yourself in this predicament

Even cards with 0% interest tend to be available for a limited time, eg 6 months.

It may be worth looking to see either if you, or your parents, could increase your mortgage (if you have one) and clear the credit card debt. Otherwise, can you look at whether either of you could take out a personal loan at a lower rate of interest to clear the debt? This will clear the credit card, and enforce the discipline of repaying the loan each month.

She hasn't gone over their limits and has stopped using them but obviously interest keeps going on.

I had thought of the loan idea, so will speak to her on Monday when she returns from my nanas.

I would avoild a loan if you can. Your other option is going to see the CAB with her, they can negotiate repayments with the card companies and have the ability to stop any interest being added to the account. I think that this is your better option.

Thanks for your replies, just feel constantly let down by this family

I hope you manage to get it sorted. I understand how you feel, I have a younger brother who locked my mum in the house when she was unwell, she then fell and broke her femur and couldn't get up. My sister found her on the floor in the morning. I feel your frustration.

That's awful I hope your mum is alright now?

Not really. She now needs a hip replacement as the pins holding her leg together have damaged her hip. She's been in hospital for a few weeks, the same one which discharged her with an infection. It just makes you wonder how you manage to be so normal when you are surrounded by people who are completely useless.

Try not to lend your family money unless you don't need it back. If it's returned then it's a bonus. We can't choose our families (sadly), we just have to be patient.

Poor you. I would be gutted - a complete breach of trust, imo.

If she has been using the cards for a few years, presumably she has been paying on them also? How much can she (reasonably) pay down per month on the two cards?

Also - she was defensive when confronted. What explanation did she offer?

Can she take out/extend the mortgage on her house to pay you back? The rates would be cheaper than credit cards.

She said she was trying to keep on top of it, and that she had struggled when my nan had been poorly last year as it meant she couldn't concentrate properly on her business. Which I can understand, but I'd have rather her come to me when it was at a manageable £1k!

I will ask her about the mortgage thing :/

That really depends on how long the mortgage has left to run. If it's only a few years, then yes, it could well be cheaper, but a 15 year mortgage term plus the £8k means 15 years with an additional £8k on it iyswim? so if she owes the bank £30k for house and you add the £8k, she's paying a lot more out over the term. Grrr, I know what I'm trying to get over, but not sure it's coming out in print that way!

A 5 year loan with a low interest rate may be better.

juney - her explanation seems flimsy and a bit .

Whether or not she had time to concentrate properly on her business du to life circumstances, she still found the time/energy to overspend drastically - and surely she was aware of that.

How does she propose to sort out this mess? Is she still in possession of the credit cards?