lending money to family and stolen inheritence

[midlifeangst]

HI
I need some advice
5 years ago my husband and I took out a loan for £35000 to help my brother and sister in law.For the first 18 months they made the reapyments. Since then they have stopped paying,both work and go out,have holidays,buy expensive clothes etc. If ever I ask for a repayment they rush to my in laws and tell them I am threatening them.Relations are now so strained my in laws refuse to speak to me.I made the mistake of not defending myself to the in laws as it didn't seem right to involve them.Now it seems too late to repair that relationship.We really need this money-what do I do?
Another in law issue.My husband was left £20000 by his Aunt.His brother,executor of will,kept finding excuses not to pay it and then said he didn't have it anymore.He has now been declared bankrupt and included this amount.His house(now in wifes name) is worth just over £1m and he is can just write this money off.It seems so unfair.He is a very aggressive man and any attempts to reason have been met with sociopathic type mean conversations.Scary.How do I get some recompense on this?

You should get proper legal advice for both these situations. On the loan, I'd say that the fact that they were paying the loan for the first 18 months is significant (shows a pattern of behaviour and intention to repay) but, really, you should have got an agreement from them in writing before you took out the loan that they would repay you. Otherwise they can try to claim it was a gift.

I would give the in-laws the full picture about their children It probably won't help relations but you'll feel better if you've told them the truth. Do the couple have the money to pay you even if you win the case?

And on the will issue that is a very thorny one. You are entitled to the inheritance but, having had something similar in my own family the experience is that, even when you are in the right, it would take so long and be so costly to prove it that your £20k would be all but gone at the end. A 'pyrrhic victory'. However, still worth talking through with a solicitor.

You definitely need proper legal advice. Try getting an hour with a solicitor to discuss both issues.