Need some financial/mortgage/student parent help!

[Neena28]

Hi I really need some help as in a total muddle and can not work out what my options are and what is best to do....

My situation is...

I have two young children (school age) and am a single parent.

I moved out of the family home leaving my ex partner (not married to each other) in the house for various reasons mostly though because his business is run from there so he would need to go there every day and I wanted some actually space from him.

I am now renting a house for £650 a month.

I still work for him earing £100 per week and therefore claim tax credits etc.

I also get some housing benefit and do not pay council tax as am also doing a full time diploma course.

I have applied and been accepted onto a full time degree course beginning in September.

Ex has now said he will pay me £50k out of the house, which is reasonable. But I think he no longer wants me to work for him once money is paid.

Average house price here for a 3 bed small house is about £150k. I do not want to move area as kids are settled in good school and have had lots of problems etc since we seperated and I really do not want further upheaval for them.

Have been looking for an alternative job for about a year but can not find anything part time and jobs around here are really scarce anyway.

I am about £1500 into my overdarft at the moment despite budgeting hard.

My ex is paying maintenance but I know he is paying what he can afford so will not get anymore from him.

Have no family etc that can help financially or with childcare.

So once I get this money I will no longer qualify for the housing benefits, but if I use it to live off I will also have no chance of getting a stable base for the children and I for at least 3 years or so. Plus I will then have no deposit. I really want to get a small house so at leats it is ours and we aren't waiting for the landlady to boot us out all the time but can not get a mortgage I imagine because I will have no income.

Feel really worried anxious and ill all the time and just want to try and start setting up our future so that we can actually live happily rather than me being this stressed out rubbish mummy all the time.

I could honestly easily sit here and sob at the moment.

Please help? Thanks

bump...whole situation is totally overwhelming me this afternoon.

You need to take proper advice and guidance on this. Please speak to a solictor and CAB about how it will affect benefits.

In the meanwhile have you applied for all your student funding for your degree?

Remember as an employee you do have rights to not be kicked out of your job just because he does not want you around. How long have you worked for him? If more than a year then you have protection against unfair dismissal.

He may feel awkward, but he really needs to get over it as you need the job.

A friend of mine has had his exW working for him for years now despite the fact they divorced about 20 years ago. They manage to get along in a professional manner.

Thank you for your replies!! I had given up hope that anyone was going to.

I have applied for all the grants etc and loans already. Its naff all though compared to my costs really. Benefits dept at council couldn't be any less halpful if hey tried and have suggested that all housing benefit etc would be canceled because of loans etc.

In response to the work problem I have a fair idea he is going to say he doesn't want me there and if I don't just go then will withhold the info I need to do my job until I am no longer doing it well etc. To be honest I would love to not need it and be able to tell him where to stick it as I hate the work but can not afford to iyswim?

Tried the CAB but can not get an appt for 7 and a half weeks, have booked it anyway but really need some advice sooner than that. Solicitor just says CAB can accuratly offer you advice on this but we can't.

I am so bloody worried at the moment that he is eventually going to use my lack of money to influence the children into a battle of look what i buy and do with you and your mum can't afford to.

Thanks again for your help.

As a single parent you are likely to still get some help with housing benefit as some of your student loans arent taken into account.

Eg I worked out that I would get £84 a week instead of the £136 I was getting. (but remember I had no earnings. amount of rent, children etc different)

Its all relative really and please dont let it stop you from studying-if money becomes tight then there is always the hardship fund at uni.

In respect of the money - its a tough call. Yes its likely that as its a divorce settlement and not money from the sale of a house HB will take it into account as capital. What you really need is an esitimate of how much H.B you will get once your students loans/ and earnings are taken into account-Thats why I suggest you speak to CAB.

If you are going to receive no help anyeway it may help you make your mind up about taking the money.

Have you looked into shared ownership?