Advice please- How to support student when reach age 20.

[buttons99]

I am fairly new and would like some advice please. I live in a merged family of 5 children in total. My DH and I each had children from previous marriages when we met and all 5 live with us. Financially we work on a very tight budget. DH works but I don't as I have disabilities.
Our eldest turns 20 later this year and we are trying to work out what effect this will have on our finances and what we should do. He is at college doing a parallel course to the first one he did as he feels he picked the wrong course 1st time (plus he was too lazy to be bothered to put in the proper amount of work he should have done!) I am fully aware that tax credits and child benefit will finish as soon as he reaches 20 but his course won't finish until 6 months later and so we need to clearly provide food, pay bills etc in this time period but how??? I know in the ideal world we would have spare cash to support him completely financially through college and maybe beyond onto Uni but in the real world its different. We do not receive and maintenance from either Ex partner incidentally. We are also aware that whatever we do will set a presidence for the other 4 children in some way.

Does anyone have any experience of this please, also if he does choose to go on to uni should we expect some form of financial contribution from him if he lives at home...I believe if he were to live in student accomodation he would have to find means to pay for his room, upkeep etc and so if he stays at home it would be a good lesson for him to have to pay his way and to be honest I realise people get all uppity that we should have the money to support him etc, he needs his fun time and not the responsibility of part time working or student loans and yes in theory some of that I would agree with, but our real life isn't like that.

Part of the problem is that we have tried to discuss student loans, grants, part time work etc with him but he is not forthcoming with any info or suggestions and we have no idea where to begin to find any info from. Thankyou for any advice.

We are in a similar situation with our son who is at college and wants to be there for another 2-3 years he is fully aware that once I stop recieving benefits for him i.e child tax and child benefit that he is going to have to get a part time job and support himself and that will include paying some towards the house keeping I feel that there is no reason why they shouldnt support themselves once they are nolonger classed as children especially if we as parents are not in the finacial possition to support them

If he wasn't living at home then he would need to find a part time job to support himself while he's a college like thousands of late teenagers/early 20-somethings.

I don't think it is at all unreasonable to expect him to pay a contribution towards the housekeeping once the tax credits etc stop. We're talking about a 20 yo, not a 14 yo and I actually think it does adults of this age no favours to carry on providing everything once they reach adulthood. You will still be helping him by providing cheap food and lodgings!

I think 20 is well old enough to realise that he needs to contribute to the household if he is going to stay in it. I would sit down and have a talk with him where you explain that he needs to contribute at this point and ask him what he would like to do about it. Offer suggestions such as a part-time job, moving out into shared accommodation with friends, etc, and find out what he wants to do.

He can't be a child forever, and by 20 a lot of people are supporting themselves.