any1 got any advice

[starshaker]

this is what we live on at the mo
my dp starts work at 4.30am and finishes at 6.30pm except on a tuesday (finnishes at 4pm) sat (finishes at 1pm) and a sunday (1.30pm) he gets every 2nd weekend off but still has to work 4.30 till 9am on the sat. he basically runs the newsagents while his dad does the post office. and all he gets is £130 a week. we cant claim anything cos it would get his dad into trouble so basically we are screwed. At the moment i get £80 maternity allowance a week but that stops quite soon. i do get child tax credit but that really all we can go for. we have been told we are not entitled to anything else. any1 got any ideas

i would ask his dad to become legit so he doesnt get into trouble then you could claim help etc or that he gives your dp a substantial pay rise! Failing that i'd get your dp to look for another job he could get the same money for alot less hours elsewhere.

he wont leave as he is worried about his dad and his dad says the business doesnt make enough to pay him more. i keep telling him if he wasnt there his dad would need to pay some1 else the going rate. he didnt even get paternity leave and last year he only got 1 week holiday. i like his dad but im starting to resent him as he is the reason we are so skint

You shouldn't have to suffer because of what sounds like dishonesty on your FIL's part. I agree with edodgy - if he's not prepared to run his business above board, and pay your dp a reasonable wage, then dp should be putting himself first and looking for another job.

It's all very well your dp wanting to be loyal to his dad, but he's being treated very unfairly and shouldn't have to put up with being taken for a ride.

i understand the loyalty to family, but in reality, your husband's loyalty needs to be to you and your children first, and extended family (meaning parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, etc) second

i would be stating that either 1. the FIL goes by the law, or 2. your hubby find something else - it's a matter of what's best for your family first

thats what i say it was not so bad when he lived at home cos he had nothing to pay out but now he has a dd and partner we pay full rent council tax and all the day to day running of a house. at the moment i pay the car tax petrol etc food bills and everything thats needed for dd in about a month we will just not be able to do it.

in reality, i don't think there is much of a choice here to be honest

No, I don't think there's much choice here either. You and your children should be dp's first priority, and his loyalty to you should mean he does what's best for you as a family, not his father.

im actually on the phone at the mo getting him an application form for a job as a postman as i think he would like it and he has said before its something he would consider doing. i just need to help him decide that its his idea lol

His dad may not be able to pay him any more, however that doesn't stop your dp either looking for another job, or claiming working family tax credit does it? You say that would get his dad into trouble, if that because he isn't working there legitimatly? I can only assume so. I can see your dp's dilemma, he wants to do right by you, but also help out his dad. I think he needs to talk to his dad, offer to 'help' out if he gets another job, but that's about it. A postman sounds idea as he is already used to the early hours, and he'll finish early too. It will mean you might be able to go back to work (if you want) in the afternoons, once he has finished for the day.

Good luck

his dad only declares that he works 20 hous a week so this is where our problem is