Do your dcs have a lower standard of living than you had as a child?

[Podrick]

If so what is your take on this?

Much much higher in a material sense! I don't see that necessarily as a good thing though. I think I learnt to appreciate presents / new clothes a lot more.

In terms of opportunities, we're off the scale. DD is 5.5, bilngual and has already travelled quite widely. I really wanted to have dance classes, go pony riding, etc as a child but there was no money for such things. DD will/does get to do this stuff.

In terms of freedom, she's worse off. We used to wander for miles at a early age, building camps and picking berries. She is in a city and won't be wandering off anywhere unaccompanied for a very long time.

In terms of quality time, I had to really think about this as DH and I work FT. But I think she is better off. She definitely has much more "quality" time with us then I or DH had growing up - and a lot more attention/focus. i.e we were just left to get on with it. I actively think about that mix about being bored and entertaining yourself (necessary skill), and actually doing fun stuff as a family.

higher - much higher. both in absolute terms and relative...by which I mean they have more things, more holidays, better food, a better car than I had but also as a family we are futher up the well-off spectrum than my family was when I was a kid iyswim.

they also have more parental time (both dh and I work p-t mostly from home)

lucky sods don't know they're born.I do keep telling them but I bore even myself sometimes.

No, vastly higher.
DS has more of everything and better, simply because in 1978 (when I was his age) there wasn't a lot of anything!

My Dcs have a much higher standard of living.

I grew up in a council house but I now live in a lovely Victorian house.

My mum was a terrible slattern. I like to see the floor. I am not obsessed by housework but I like that people can drop in and I do not want the floor to swallow me up.

My mum and dad had bouts of unemployment (twas the '80's) but so far, touch wood, we have been unaffected by this. My Dcs get to do more stuff because we have more money. Sad but true.

DS's standard of living is incomparably higher:

no outside loo
holidays in spades
a passport
nice food not vesta curries etc etc

My mum worked FT and my dad worked nights so although I work FT (to pay for the house, holidays, endless games etc etc) no-one has to tiptoe round "Daddy" and his moods.

DS has books, museum trips, going out to nice days out etc etc. I can't think of one single thing I had which he doesn't have better, apart from non-mollycoddling and independence. But that isn't money or standard of living, is it?

Lower I suppose, they go to state school and we live in a squalid little house which most of the time I can't afford much help with. Although things are looking up considerably and we could probably take on another cleaner if only there was someone brave enough.

Think we have higher emotional standards though, but that's probably generational?

shocked me to realise I think lower actually!

squalid house with no garden (which actually we could never afford to buy even if we wanted to)

we both work and I work much harder than my mother, my kids get fewer holidays (although we never went abroard until teens and all of ours have been to France!)

sadely they get much less parental time and we are massively dependent on paid childcare which is sad (my parents were lucky enough to have very involved grandparents although I'm sure they wished at times they were less involved )

my take on it is that it is the inevitable consequence of the way society is (ie need for 2 incomes to get what one did previously) together with some personal decisions eg didn't buy house at a certain stage, coupled with massive house price inflation coupled wiht the jobs we have.

Have also realised that I was out and about without my parents at dc's age (just down to friends etc) whereas my dc's are some way from being allowed out alone and our education and educational opportunities were much better

not sure what to do about it actually

My dd's standard of living is far lower than mine was as a child - state education not expensive public schools , no £2m country estate, no pony in the paddock. Dp and I both work. I find it hard that I can't give my child a fraction of what I had but fortunately she is a happy little thing and I was unhappy as a child.

we had a bigger and better house but no money and few treats. my dcs live in a smaller house but we have better lifestyle.

Much much higher.

Better quality of life too. And better parented, natch.

At the moment, much lower standard of living (I was brought up in a massive house in the country, home cooked free range food where we virtually knew the names of our Sunday roasts etc, whereas now I am currently studying, which means that we are squashed into a tiny flat in London with somewhat budget food etc )

However, before I started this course, I think they had a higher standard of living than I did, in as much as they had a better social life, lots of travel due to family abroad etc and we lived in a capital city, but near the beach, so best of both worlds in terms of opportunities in city life and fresh air, access to nature etc.

All going well, when I graduate next year, we will have a better standard of living again

probably slightly lower

I grew up in Canada so mahoosive house and high standard of living etc

but they don't really miss out on anything as my parents were much stigier than we are

Materially much higher but I don't think I ever noticed as a child how little I had. The dcs have too many things imo, especially toys and clothes. I didn't give too much thought to it as we were acquiring all this stuff but imo it makes the dcs value possessions much less because they have so much. Am making a conscious decision to declutter and reduce.

My mother stayed at home until we went to school, something today we could not afford to do. I benefited from her patience and the feeling we had all the time in the world. My children don't get that, we're always rushing which is why they so love time with the gps who can sit and discuss in the morning each character transfer on ds' pants and which ones are the best.

I was thinking about this again....materially we are better off than my parents were at this stage, and our society has changed so much: aesthetically our house is nicer, because the materials to make it nice are abundant and cheap now, and they just weren't in 1970s Fife (Dh was in London and totally scoffs at me when I say this, but I am sure some of you understand).

But then, we had the usual freedom to play out, walk alone to friends' houses (we never had playdates! we just went and called on someone and if they were up for a play we went out or went upstairs and never bothered anyone), we had quite strict limits but we knew what they were, ie we took responsibility at a young age.

I live in a city now so obviously things are different and I don't mind that, and actually the kids here do play out and it's reasonably safe (no traffic probs) but I am sad that ds won't get to take his bike into the woods and play for HOURS with a sandwich in his pocket. Even if we lived in the country that wouldn't be happening, I don't think.

(OTOH when I was at school, a 6-yr-old girl drowned in a stream in the woods after hitting her head. She was out playing by herself. Grim.)

Much higher, I grew up on a deprived council estate, benefits were a way of life and even though my Dad had a trade, he and my Mum squandered money, we had little clothes and toys. My constant remember is being told to turn the heating off and the house being cold and damp with mould on the walls. Sometimes we didn't have much in terms of food.

We were the last people I know to get a phone, didn't have a car for the first 13 years of my life, never had a holiday foreign or otherwise.

Mine have a higher standard than me as a child
But probably about the same as DH

As an expat brat I had a very high standard of living and was better travelled than most adults in the 70s by the age of 10, we had huge houses, staff, 1-2 luxury holidays a year, first class travel and I went to boarding school. DF worked and DM was a mostly SAHM. My DC aren't going to get any of that and they will go to state school etc but we don't struggle for money and i wouldn't say I had a better quality of life than they are going to get, it was just different. I don't think you can necessarily compare childhoods as the ways of the world are different.

*waves to sweetkitty - hope preg going well

Different, as I cant give them village life in the 70's!

About the same, very slightly higher because my children have the advantage of being brought up in a bi-lingual household with a large extended family close by. I didn't have that.

Lower. We live in an upper flat instead of a house with garden and in a much poorer area. Things like food, toys, number of books in the house are probably about the same.

It does upset me a bit, particularly the fact that I had a really excellent state education, and due to where we live, DD's is not likely to be of the same standard (she hasn't started school yet though).

But in terms of parenting, my mum and I are pretty similar - spend time doing things like going to the library, the park, museums etc, which are all free. In fact, because we live in a city, DD's life is much culturally richer. She might grow up poor-ish, but she'll never feel out of place in an art gallery

I'd like to think I offer just as much love, support and generosity as well, which are the important things really.

Our standard of living varied greatly when I was a child

My dad was in the army and worked his way up the ranks, so available money and quality of accommodation increased as he was promoted. We lived in some hovels but by the end we had much bigger houses and flats. Then my Dad left the army and struggled wrt finding work. We went through a long phase of feeding a family of 6 on £30 a week.

As an army brat I was privately educated which we could never afford for our children, even if we wanted to.

However we do have more spare cash than my parents ever had, when I'm not on ML we have money for days out, lunches in cafes, holidays abroad every other year and so forth which I never had as a child.

My dc's childhood will be more stable than mine ever was with no moving around every 18 months or so. I will never send them away to school. Assuming that dh and I don't lose our jobs, there will always be a little bit of spare cash to blow at the seaside on icecreams.

On balance I would say that our dc's have a better standard of living that I did.

DC have a much higher standard of living.
When I was young we had one foreign holiday, the rest of the time it was camping on the south coast.
My DC 1 and 2 have been spoilt (my own fault which I now accept and which I'm trying to 'tone down' for DCs 3 and 4) They became used to foreign holidays, sometimes two a year, visited Santa in Lapland etc and were pretty much used to getting everything they asked for.

I have now realised that one of them (DD aged 13) is in real danger of turning into an 'expat brat' so have had to set limits. They will still have their nice holidays but they will probably be school trips (which seem to be far more exotic than when I went to school)
I have warned them not to expect too much for Christmas and DC1 accepts this but sadly DD1 thinks money grows on trees.

Last months request was for a joint Christmas/birthday present of a HORSE! FFS! According to DD, it was 'only £1,500'! err, and how much to feed and keep the sodding thing?

Think I spoilt them a lot when myself and ex got divorced to make up for the fact that he pretty much abandoned them but will not make the same mistake with DC 3 and 4.

hmm not sure - we had quite lavish treats when we were children, no central heating though and my mum was a bit of a lentil weaver we did lots of things outside of the house with her and later on they spent literally £1000's on my music.

My DS's have quite most of the mod con's and home comforts (no holidays - but my dad never got round to organising holidays for us either).

There's a difference though I think

My parents (well my dad - he had control of the purse strings) lived well beyond his means, every thing was on credit/loans/overdraft and I discovered in my late teens that they were in a shocking amount of debt.

The same amount of debt that DH and I are currently in........but obviously we're talking 14yrs ago so there's was "higher" in real times.

We're in debt but don't spend money we don't have (debt is from times gone by).