If ex p loses his job and is unemployed then I have to kiss goodbye any maintenance don't I?

[Meglet]

Me and ex p have an informal maintenance agreement, we used the calculator on the csa website to check how much he should pay.

But he is probably going to be made redundant this month, and TBH unlikely to find another job. He says he will no longer be able to pay me.

If he ends up with job seekers allowance (£65 a week!) it will not cover his living expenses (he is living with his brother) so the dc's get nothing don't they? I'm assuming the csa can't do anything if he is broke. He's £20k in debt too, so he's in trouble financially.

Even if he went thru the CSA you may get £5 a week from his benefits (or that maybe just if youre on benefits Im not sure).

Could he budget maybe just for your dc's dinner money or something small to enable him to still make a contribution.
TBH his 20k debt is neither here nor there, he is a grown man I presume who knows when you borrow money you have to pay it back!

mosschops - his £20k debt is neither here nor there?! I'm sure he feels differently about that. Ever thought of becoming a debt counsellor?

from the OP:
'He's £20k in debt too, so he's in trouble financially'

allnew - Im sure he does, but the fact remains that whether he's 20k in debt or not he should still make small provisions wherever possible for his children. Or do you think he should clear his 20k debt first?

mosschops you have no idea of knowing how the debt originated, so I don't think you're in a position to give him advice on how he should prioritise it. Also whoever the creditor is will presumably need some payment from him. £65 per week less £5/wk maintenance less servicing a £20k debt will not leave much will it, and I'm sure it will not do anybody much good for the poor guy to be homeless or starve just after leaving his job.

To the OP - I'd say unfortunately it probably does indeed mean having no maintenance at least until he's able to find a new job. If he's on JSA I think he (under the csa) needs to pay you £5/wk, so that would be something to add with the child benefit

Are you able to work to tide yourself over?

Fight Fight Fight

lol mumble

yes youre absoluetly right, meglet you should go out to work (providing youre not already doing so) whilst your ex pays off his massive debt by which time your dc's will be able to work themselves thereby absolving him of any responsibility - oh apart from to himself!!

Good advice indeed

or he could just GET A BLOODY JOB like the rest of the workforce!

CSA will give you an entitlement of £5 per week for the DC's as long as our ex does not have shared care.

back again!

mosschops I think maybe I will have to accept that all he can do is contribute towards some food / nappies for the dc's.
His debt originated from his misspent youth before we got together, too many holidays in Newquay and too much booze, but its all in his name so I'm safe there.

allnew I am very fortunate in that I can just about survive without the maintenance (I work part-time and my mortgage is low). But all the same I will have to budget ruthlessley.

If he doesn't have the money I can't make him magic it up out of thin air can I? At least we'll have a roof over our heads and food in the cupboards, could be worse.

mosschops what planet are you on? You're not really offering the OP much advice either are you?

The OP has said that her ex is unlikely to find a new job. Hopefull he will try his best, and will offer what little he can in the meantime. What exactly do you expect him to do over and above this

And surely, if possible, both parents should be responsible for a child, so what is so wrong about asking if it is possible for the OP to work?

shelley no he doesn't have shared care.

meglet, that's great you feel like you'll be able to get through it. You seem to have a very positive attitude which will no doubt help a lot. Good luck to you, and lets hope you ex is able to find a job again which will benefit all of you

Re: his job. He will be part of a group of a couple of hundred people going from a local factory so there will be loads of people going for work at the same time. Its the only job he's ever had so he's not got any other experience, despite all his failings he does have a good work ethic and was doing well within the company until the recession came along. I know he will look for work, but there is very little out there.

but youre not suggesting that allnew, youre suggesting that because her exp has 'other financial commitments' that she should take full responsibility and do everything including go out to find work.

Although now OP has pointed out she already works, and provides care for her dc's so Im guessing all exp needs to do is pay off his debt .... in your world does that mean he clears his own debts before offering to help with the day to day financial side of running a family?

And if you read my original post I think you'll find that I did offer a suggestion that maybe he could contribute a small amount towards dinner money or similar, but you chose to ignore this and jump on the fact that I find it appalling that he clear his debt before contributing to his family by whatever small means possible

sorry meglet for hijacking. Im glad that you seem to have everything under control and that you will manage as best you can through the troubled times.

thats the csa's term so if the dc's stay with you every night then it should be £5 a week maintenance. As yiou said its a packet of nappies

mosschops where did I say the ex should do nothing except clear his debts and not worry about the child? or that the OP should take full responsibility? Erm, I didn't, you made that up
anyway meglet sorry for the cont'd hijack!

just realised which thread ive recognised your attitude from, which is why I will be leaving it there so as not to pander to you any further!

meglet I do hope that everything works out ok for you