Small financial mess

[AuntyMable]

Was wondering if any wise people had adivce. Thought it worth a try as i keep reading about the power of mumsnet.

I dont know how to get us out of this financial mess. A few months ago we got in a situation because of extra expense at the time where we really needed a larger overdraft. but we have ended up living in it so that now everytime we get paid the balance bearly returns to zero and of course teh bills have to still be paid so there we are back up to the limit and usualy gettin charged for going over it.

Am in a situation where currently nobody in the family can work (dh had an accident as on long term sick). We have 2 DDs and one is severly disabled so icant go out to work either. Our outgoings are more than our income but we dont go out or live extravagently, its just mail order bills for stuff we have needed and ok a few things we could have managed without. And the girls belong to a few clubs, also not a necesity but i want them to do fun healthy things as its not there fault so they shouldnt suffer. We are paying off one smallish bank loan which i took out last year so we could go on holiday because we really needed one.

Now its got to the point where we cant manage. have struggled along for weeks but now there is no petrol in the car and we dont live in the same town as the kids school and they dont get subsidised transport. (have a good reason why they dont go to the most local school.) Get paid next wkend and altho there is food in the house there are still things that need to be paid for. and the pretol situation is urgent. acccount is about to go over limit and incur charges yet again when another direct debit comes out tomorrow. and when the money goes in at wkend it will still be in minus figures. the overdraft is not HUGE but the problem is relative to our small income.

Have put a few things on ebay but have nothing that is worth anything. the big things are rented.

i would not ask family for money even if they had any (they dont) and would def not ask/take from anyone else.

does anyone have any advice or new ideas at all pls?

Unfortunately, our area is not covered by Freeview. But we are cutting Sky down to a much more basic package (but not until after tomorrow night's match apparently!) We are phoning Forbes (rental company) today, getting a smaller TV and sending back the DVD player. We have a PS2 so can use that instead although you cant watch all DVDs on it.
I suppose it goes without saying that I ought to cancel the few charity direct debits but they are not huge and one of them is for research into the condition that DD has so feel very bad about that. Feel worse that I have just had to transfer online some money from one of the girl's savings accounts into our current to keep it within the overdraft limit. (their accounts are in my name as well.) Not that they even know what they have in there. There accounts gradualy built up because we have always paid £5 a month each into those accounts by standing order. Now I have just wiped out 4 months worth of DDs savings. I have never done this before. feel crap
Just broached the subject to the kids that on thursday we may be walking to school. Its ten miles which is possible but will have to get up really early and the oldest one and i will have to carry the youngest one on our backs a lot of the time. Or else i could just spend more of their savings on petrol but i dont want to do that. It makes me feel like real scum.
I need to win £500 to wipe out that overdraft so we could start again on an even footing. Dreaming now obviously.
I showed Dh this thread last night and we are doing a lot of what you have all suggested. We are very grateful for the advice.

How about cutting Sky entirely? I know it's hard, but we've had to do it as well and it's not the end of the world. It beats walking 10 miles! We watch all DVDs on a PS2 DH got years ago. Works just fine. I even got a region converter for my bday last year and so we can watch DVDs from other areas as well.

Ending the charity direct debits will also help you with your petrol bill. They'll understand. If you don't have it, you don't have it. It's that simple.

I'd feel worse about walking 10 miles a day than I would about cancelling charity direct debits.

Don't feel badly, we had saved up pennies for over a year and got a tenner for DD from it. But we had to use it to buy food one time.

Expat, if we cut Sky entirely then we will have no tv at all as all our reception comes through it. We are in a very bad reception area anyway but the tv ariel on the roof is not functional anyway. I wouldn't miss the tv all that much but would feel very bad for DH, he gets down about his condition and altho he doesnt spend all day watching tv by any means, i would feel as if Iwas cutting off one of the few pleasure he has left since he cant work anymore and can hardly go ut as he cant walk far. Plus our child with SN does enjoy Cbeebies. It calms her down/keep her busy for short periods. I can't/(won't?) take the tv away from them entirely. But i can totally see your point so not trying to put obstacles in way of your advice.
Am worrying in advance here but can any of you in similar situations tell me how the hell (!) you manage christmas, if you have been in this situation at this time? I cant even bear to think about it.

AM- don't do the 10 mile walk- it's just not worth it- you will all be exhausted, bad-tempered, hungry, sore....

spend the savings if you have to- if you're feeling bad about it, at least you won't fritter them away on things that aren't necessary.

Where do you live? We have an old but functional colour TV you could have, but it's probably not worth trying to post it .

Where do you shop? Do you have an aldi's near you? I shop there if I'm a little short and I cant believe the difference in my shopping bill.

it's worth looking at Freecycle.org -people can give away perfectly decent things! I recently got a bike for my dd for nothing- it needs a clean and a bit of oil, but she is delighted with it.

i know you say you cant get a job but what about delivering local free newspapers or doing avon? you would be able to save up £500 fairly quickly doing those and you could take kids along with you, is not much different from going for a walk and they would probably enjoy helping to post things

just skimming this thread for inspiration - tissy - that freecycle website is great! I have just had a look at my local one and it is really good

AuntyMable,fgs, the 10 mile walk is NOT feasible! It will kill you. Isn't there a bus?

AuntyMable - where about do you live??

Just a rough area???

Can you take in ironing. There is usually a pretty good market for that.

auntymable do you have a social worker? A good one will check you are getting all the benefits you should and also help direct you to charities that might help you, e.g to take a holiday. I agree better to cut the charity debits than walk to school or use the children's savings and better to accept a bit of help from charities than see your children suffer. Boot sales are excellent for Christmas presents.

Do you have a water meter? We'd never considered one as we're wasteful with water but we had no choice when we moved and I'm amazed that it's working out cheaper.

oh forgot - council recycling yards are an excellent source for cheap bycycles. They do charge you for them but not a lot. Also for doors and bathroom fittings.

auntymable it's great that your children are involved. Don't feel bad that they're helping you, just praise them, and keep them as informed as you feel is right for their age group. Maybe ask them for ways to save/earn money - you might be surprised what they come up with?

Could you switch one of the mobiles to a bleeper, since you have a phone at work? Might be more hassle than it's worth. I've no idea if they're cheaper.

I would cancel the charity debits - if it worries you, think about volunteering some time, that's often more valuable than money to many charities. Could dh do some fundraising or other activities from home?

HTH, I think you're doing well so far.

Hi folks. I don't feel able to answer all of the questions, because AuntyMable is not my usual identity. This is not because I am ashamed of being broke.. but because I don't want the people on here that know me in a RL capacity to realise how broke we are in case they feel uncomfortable or that should help.

I realise the ten mile walk is probably not do-able so it would really only be a last resort. Yes we are getting all the benefits we are entitled to - the problem came about when we had a big expense a while back and i no option but to increase the overdraft to a stupid amount, given our small income. I can't really do anything as time consuming a Avon or paper delivery as i can only earn a small amount without it affecting the benefits and if it does, it negates the point of doing the work. Time is also a problem as i have responsiblities other than at home. I DO do some relief work in a care home but only enough not to affect the benefits which is a few pounds here and there.

Moondog, yes there is a bus not no bus fare, lol! Vicuous circle

Thanks for all this unput, I didn't expect it as i see the problem as mainly self inflicted as i knew i shouldnt have increase the overdraft. Its amazing how banks let you get into such debt isnt it. One look at out account should have shown them that a larger o/draft was not a clever option for us.

AM - I wanted to know as I have a one-year old combined TV and video that I have no use for anymore. It is quite big though so getting it to you may be a problem unless you live reasonably close to me!

I understand you want to keep your identity safe, but if you want to save a bit on TV rental each month then CAT me

Soapbox, thank you. That is such a lovely offer. However, perhaps someone else will benefit more from your kind nature (people like you amaze me.. there are so many on here.. hugs to you all..)

Anyway, I have an update. Dh went to visit my dad as he always does on a Tues and my dad now knows of our current financial situation due to me having to 'borrow' £20 from him last weekend. I never ask my family for money but had to, there were no essentials left in the cupboard so I felt he needed a good explanation. My dad is disabled and doesn't get out and about, lives on benefits but has a little nest egg in the bank. When DH arrived, dad started giving him orders along the lines of 'go into town, take out enough money to pay off your overdraft'! Obviously DH said no (I had instructed him to not take a penny, even if it was offered as feel guilty about the £20!) Dad started shouting and saying that why should he want x amount sitting in the bank doing nothing while we are struggling through what is basically no fault of our own. So DH took it in the end. And now we are only just overdrawn. Have just reduced the overdraft back down to £250 so that when we DO overdraw by that amount (which we will), we will still have some money when we get paid again.

And at weekend, we get paid and for the first time for months on end, it will not be all gone before we get it!! I feel so scummy for taking money off my dad when he really isn't very well off. But so relieved.

Thank you all so much. We are going to keep working at keeping our expenditure down. I hope that those of you in the same position can do the same and that things improve somewhat soon. It's not a fun situation.

which bank are you with? Some banks offer free overdrafts up to £250. If you work hard at keeping expenditure down maybe you could gradually pay your dad back, even if it was just a few pounds a month you'd feel better for it.

AM

Can I just say

STOP PAYING YOUR CHARITY DDs.

Look love, there is an old saying, 'Charity begins at home'. You have given money before, and you can give again when your ship comes in ... Which it will, one day.

Please don't feel guilty about not giving to charity for a while, until you get sorted out.

Don't walk the kids 10 miles either. You'll be too tired, and szo will the kids by the time they get to school, never mind at teatime when they've done it both ways.

Great that you have breathing space from your dad. and he is right, Money in the bank is pointless if you're struggling day-to-day.

Good luck love. I feel for you.

Tatt, Barclays and yes we have an Additions account which is free up to £250 (o/draft) which is why have reduced it down to that amount.

Easy, yes I will see about paying dad back. Problem is he will say no 'because I do so much for him'. (his words). He is always trying to pay me money for doing his washing/paperwork which I never take!)

Aunty
Aw, Aunty! That post of yours really broke my heart. (((BIG HUGS)), hon. Don't feel badly! If folks feel uncomfortable b/c you're skint, what does that say about them? Do you want to hang around folks who just want to be around you when you have money? That's not what friends are about.

We're all adult here - well, I like to think. There's no shame in it, IMO. It's part of who I am at the moment, personally. I know it's not a life-long situation (b/c I'm starting to retrain for a better career in Autumn), but I think it will really enhance how I act in my profession and treat those around me.

It's just part of the process for some folks.

Aw, sweetheart! I wish I could make it all better for you.

Expat thank you. There really are some lovely people on here! I'm studying for a better future too altho it feels a long way off.

I'm going for it, too, Aunty. Starting a course in Autumn.

Wishing you the best, Aunty. Really and truly am.