Questions about financial rights if split and not married but have children

[friendinneedtoday]

I have read some of the info available on the web about this situatuon and have a couple of questions.

Am I right in thinking even though my career is over as I gave it up to look after children I (as opposed to children) am entitled to no financial suport despite the fact that if I leave with children I can't work even if I wanted to. So how am I supposed to support myself? I have some very modest savings. Am I just expected to live off that and then go onto benefits?

According to CSA calculator with children I am entitled to £90 maintenance a week for them. Is this supposed to cover rent, bills etc or just their living expenses? And if so where is the rest of the living expenses e.g. household bills meant to come from.

Do you think I am having a horrifying reality check? I feel sick/depressed and frightened all at the same time today

Yes, if you never married you have no claim on your partner's finances for yourself.

How are you supposed to support yourself? ehmmmmm get a job??

Spousal maintenance is rare even in married couples.

You will be entitled to maintenance for your children and its a set percentage and not meant to cover anything in particular - its just an amount towards the childrens costs.

You'll need to work to make up any shortfall like everybody does. Having children does not mean you cannot work, there are millions of people with children who manage to work to support them. Childcare is available in many forms.

I dont know if this link works but the Citizens Advice website has a bit of information - basically though you will need to consider benefits or working - but there could be other things to consider if you have a property involved. May be worth talking to the CAB.

www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/f_ending_a_relat- however if you have a property even if not in your name it might beionshipunmarriedcouples.pdf

oops I messed that post up a bit - sorry!

www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/f_ending_a_relationship_unmarried_couples.pdf

thanks for the suport lal123 - I have 3 pre school children so it is not going to be possible. The cost of them being looked after will far outweigh what I can earn.

thanks you others I will have a look - it looks like we are going to be very poor. C'est la vie

I was in this position (myexP wanted to leave following his fling) I had my 2 ds's (3 and 4 at the time) and a part time job,plus nursery fee's.

Do you own your house with your partner? myself and exp ownder our house,so I was entitled to my half of the equity, but I could have claimed under Schedule 1 of the childrens act for his half of the equity as well, to house the children - but would have had to give it back should I have married or cohabbitted again or the children reached 18.

You will also get tax credits - there is a site called entitled to dot com or something like that - and it was mumblechum that gave me some good legal advice - go to a solicitor for half an hour free and get some ideas

FWIW I am in no way poor - infact much better off - dont be scared!

friendinneed - I am so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. It sounds very hard.

Did I see on another thread that you own the house in joint names? If so, that is good, because you are entitled to your half.

www.entitledto.co.uk is very useful, as others have said. I think that if you go to the Job Centre, you can speak to a Lone Parent Advisor - I have read on here that they can be very helpful.

If you do go back to work, you could be entitled to get 80% of your childcare costs back as Working Tax Credit (it depends on how much you earn). The Lone Parent Advisor will be able to give you more info on this sort of thing.

It might be worth re-posting this in Lone Parents. The board there moves much more slowly than the rest of MN, but you will get good advice and support there. I am a bit [hmmm] at some of the unsupportive comments you are getting here, when you are obviously going through a difficult time.

Good luck, and hang on in there.

she can also get someof his share under schedule 1 of the childrens act - I didnt do this as I wanted a clean break - but it was certainly something that my solicitor and i looked at