What is a consent order please?

[SparklingSarah]

as per title - I was sorting through some paperwork earlier and found a court date for consent order for Mr man they divorced last year and he signed over the house car and everything to her.

• googled a bit but not quite clear.

What is it please?

It is the paper work that is signed between the two parties agreeing on what is to happen.(it is divorce in this case but can be other agreements) Then the consent order is taken to court for a judge to look over and agree and make a court order. Occasionally the judge will not agree to make the consent order into a court order and ask for one or both parties to look agian at the consent order.

Once you have signed a consent order you cannot back out of it and there was a test case over this edgar v edgar where the wife had signed a consent order and then changed her mind - the courts refused to budge as she had signed the form.

consent order

ok?

still a bit lost - I know I should ask him but it generally leads to rows.

could this be child contact or maintenance?

I'm not sure what's gone on really I told them both that I was not getting involved.

ALl I do know is he let her have what ever she asked for which was house the car and contents of house all he took were his clothes and a few bits that were his late parents.

It's been an amicable strain we've rowed and then backed off deciding that realistically if we just roll with it it's easier than bitching.

The consent order has been drawn up between the couples solicitors (if Mr has a solicitor) and this is a legally binding form that states financally who gets what i.e. the house the maintenance the car not contact agreements of when the children are seen. It is purely financal form and legaly binding once both parties have signed the form.

If the Mr has walked away with nothing it is highly likely the judge will not make it a court order - it is not usual for one party to be allowed to walk away with nothing.

oh yes this was said some time back.

See, he and I got together via friendship some time back.
He left we moved in together.

Intially she wanted the divorce for aldutery naming me - I said fine yes her solictor advised unreasonable behaviour so she went with that.
after that she and I had a loud discussion about her house her this and that and at that point I said not playing this game.

From her POV I felt she ought to have the house as she wanted to stop there and it was not her fault he left so why not.
The car well again we had a car at that point and she "needed" the car so why not.
I just felt she ought to be secure as she hadn't done anything wrong.

From his - well as above really he has a duty to make sure the kids have a home etc to live in.

From mine - I don't want anything we are skint beyond all belief but again - they both worked hard for their home and possesions he walked so ...

sadly he's not been able to see the kids very often mainly because of finances and partly because she quite often would say yes come down he'd get there ( a 100 mile trip)
and she'd have gone out or say yes see them for an hour or just start a row.

To her it looks like he doesn't care he does but we are barely getting by.
She got her nice job back and she has lots of family support.

I don't resent that at all - I don't like her but I don't wish her ill.

why can't she have it all if he wants that?

what happens if he doesn't go to court?

why can't she have it all if he wants that?

Because a judge has to make sure a settlement is fair - he will not allow the consent order to be made into a court order unless it is fair to both parties.

he doesn't have to go to court about this, it normally just gets presented before the judge and he looks at it and see within law whether it is correct or not.

hmm well I think it's fair for her.. but

The letter says he should go is that normal?

what usually is the norm to have?
ie the sale of the house? and halvy halvies?

thank you btw you are being very kind I know I sound like a whining trout

just don't know how much more shite I can deal with.
If I'm somewhat prepared then I will make coping space.

I could be that due to him wanting to have an unfair split that he has been asked to attend court

What is normally the norm - who knows but a judge has to look at all aspects and no two cases are the same.

It is over fair for her - but perhaps that is due to his wanting to let her have everythng and he possibly feels guilt and so this balances his guilt about things in his mind???

Oh I hate all this stuff ....

the letter says he is to attend on regarding their client and the consent order.
Thing is he can't we haven't the money for him to get up there.

I do recall this being discussed some time back.

Originally she kinda expected me to swan in "steal" from her and she'd be homeless and penniless.

I did sit down with her and say look I don't want ANYTHING.
and asked her to be reasonable regarding the children and told her that we can all have it a lot easier if we just do what is fair.
When the house was discussed I asked could she just have it the solictor said usually no but can given instead of maintenance for her so we agreed that was fine.

I know she also expected to be given vast sums of money for the kids.
she at one stage started quoting £100 a week each - not sure where that came from or how she imagined that to happen given that he's never earnt a lot.
She was resentful at having to go back to work but seems happy enough about it now.

he just wanted a clean break - I guess part guilt but mainly just wishing her well.

Seriously both of us just truly want everyone to be as happy as they can be.

My own ex is brilliant just wasn't my kinda partner - great guy though!
and He feels pretty much the same he fell out of love with her and he just wants her to be ok and as happy as she can be.
He doesn't see the kids nearly enough but sadly right now we can't do anything about that.
SHe has been a bit poisonous but she has been badly hurt so in her shoes I'd want to hurt him too!
I realise how mad/weird I sound!

I suppose we just better hope the judge sees that we are each quite happy - she's doing ok managing and to be frank her mum is a huge help finacially and personally.
We are happy enough but scraping by money wise but that's the way life goes!

Thank you! you've been a HUGE help
HUGE plate of biccies and a large drink of choice!!