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Original poster

can I make him move out

9 replies

rumdontbotherreplyingmum · 10/05/2009 20:45

quick bit of history... Hubby and I seperated last september, told me he was going to move out after xmas (08), and he's still here.. tells me he can't afford to move out now

when I saw my solicitor about our seperation agreement I didn't ask if I could make him move out as he was going to do so.
H pays half the mortgage and me £100 per month to live on the sofa and believe me does f**k all in the house, ohh sorry I forgot he put the bins out!
he does all his own cooking, cleans the sink out after himself, and washing..
I think he now lives the life of riley with no parental or household responsibilities, and the rest of his wages go on himself.. ie beer!
so, before I go back to my solicitor, who I thought was a bit drippy, can any of you tell me some happy stories of how you got your ex to move out!
I need to move on and it is really unsettling the kids..

I forgot to mention he met a woman on my space and has met up with her and has been intimate with her while she was over here.. but he thinks I don't know! she lives in australia from what I can gather and is selling up to come back here. he is going over there in the summer apparently..

will also x post this on relationships

thanks

OP posts:
chipkid · 10/05/2009 20:58

You need to petition for divorce and a financial settlement as soon as possible. There are ways to remove a spouse from the matrimonial home by means of an occupation order-but you need grounds-usually where it is intolerable to live together etc. doesn't sound like you fit this criteria-so get on with the divorce and finalise maters that way

Original poster
rumdontbotherreplyingmum · 10/05/2009 21:27

we agreed that we would divorce in 2 years and in the meantime have a seperation agreement, which states that he will move out as soon as conveniently posible (can't think of the wording at the moment, will have to check)...
we also have in the seperation agreement that I will sell the house when son is 18 which is in 7 years.
I have offered to have the house valued, and that I will take over the mortgage, he will get half of the equity of the value of the house now.... he says no.. not a good time to sell a house or get it valued.. it seem that I'm stuck with him

OP posts:
chipkid · 10/05/2009 21:32

you can divorce him quicker if you have particulars of unreasinable behaviour. Perhaps he may get his act together if you explain this to him

chipkid · 10/05/2009 21:32

or alternatively if you can prove his adultery

Original poster
rumdontbotherreplyingmum · 10/05/2009 21:37

I have msn messages off their conversations that I printed out.. its obvious they were intimate as she thought she was pregnant!

OP posts:
Ivykaty44 · 10/05/2009 21:39

Why go to the expense of having a seperation order written up and then get divorced after 2 years?

If he is seeing soemone else then that counts as adultery - and no one actually cares or gets to see why you were divorced so why not just get it over and done with - rather than pay the solicitors lots of money to do two jobs.

A seperation order isn't going to be cheap and from what i gathered in the past is not always legaly binding???.
www.terry.co.uk/div_ar02.html

Have a look at the link it has plenty of details about the divorce process

Original poster
rumdontbotherreplyingmum · 10/05/2009 21:42

we have the seperation agreement done by a solicitor already.. I think as no one else was involved in our seperation we just agreed to seperate.. he paid for the agreement....
will read your link later IK44 as he's hovering at the mo....

OP posts:
mumoverseas · 11/05/2009 10:40

agree with IvyKaty that it is a lot of expense to get a SA and then go for divorce after 2 years. If the SA has not already been finalised then it may be worth considering divorce proceedings on his adultery if he will admit it or failing that his unreasonable behaviour (citing amongst other things, his new relationship)
As IK says, a SA is not always legally binding in any event and men (and sometimes women) often like to try to squirm out of the financialside of it.

As another poster said, unfortunately, from what you've said, no way to get him out of the house now except by way of an occupation order and it sounds like you haven't the grounds.

If he is backtracking already ref the SA, personally I'd have a serious talk to him about divorce proceedings.

Original poster
rumdontbotherreplyingmum · 11/05/2009 15:04

Hi, he paid for the SA, said the divorce would cost a lot more, and we should do Two years' separation with consent and get divorced... I agreed because I really just wanted him out..
I want to do it amicable as I don't want him to upset the kids... he already tells our 10 year old too much... he forgets he's just a kid...

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