Can I afford as a single parent to stay in my rented house.

[twinsetandpearls]

I know these money threads upset people but please acknowledge I am in a difficult place and want some advice.

Dp and I are likely to be splitting in a few months once the house is sold. I do not want a penny from the sale as dp put the money in.
I would like to give dd a sense of continuity and stay in the same house. Dp currently looks after all of our finances and I am ashamed to admit that I dont have a clue about budgeting.

I will have no debt and my rent is £850 a month. I will be bringing in after tax and pension payments just over £2K a month. I will need to pay council tax, £60 a month in petrol nd utility bills, oh and eat! That does sound doable to me does it to you.

well we jointly used to earn earn £2000 a month and rent was £700 a month, paid full council tax etc and got about £100 a month tax credit. We managed, had a fairly comfortable standard of living, were paying credit card off and owned out car outright. We had no childcare costs.

So I think you can do it but just get into your head that you are poor! Sell everything you don't need (car boot sales/ebay). And claim what you can because everyone else will and at the end of the day that's what it is there for, you are not saving anybody anything by not claiming it. (apart from MP's choccie bars)

Sorry you are in this situation.

nick I think it is inevitable, dp is paddling like mad trying to save us. I am very very confused. We have had a childfree day today and it was bliss. But maybe you feel like that when the stress of trying to make it work has gone.

Can I just point oout that maintenance is no longer taken into account when working out housing benefit.
Can I also recommend moneysavingexpert website. Their is an excellent budget planner. Really makes you think about all sorts of expenses.

Twinny step back and breathe I dont know you personally but I know from your posts on here you treat yourself a bit harshly sometimes.

I know you say you love your dp - keep it going if you can

Do you have RL friends you can chat with?

Do you need a cyber ear?

Take care x

We have been trying, we have been in counselling for a while. I respect dp, I have huge affection for him and cannot imagine him not being involved in our lives. I don't know if I love him and he wants to be with someone who loves him.

twin - you are always putting yourself down.

You must believe in yourself. Sounds like your dp loves you so let him.

I cant say what I think without appearing hurtful but from what youve said or what ive gathered in the time ive been on mumsnet heres how I 'understand it'

you always put yourself down not in a attention seeking way

you almost sound as if you are unworthy of any love.

what happened to make you feel like that?

I know youve had bad times and was in a refuge (i think) but youve come away from that - I really was quite envious in a nice way when you were finally able to move and start making your future- twinny please understand I dont wanna hurt you or upset you but bloody hell why cant you love your dp???

Im not criticizing you im just saying you are worthy.

disclaimer

I could be wrong about anything I said above if i am its not done with malice.

I know you are not criticising, I dont know sometimes not matter how nice people are to one another and how much they need each other that does not mean they love each other.

maybe you just dont know how it feels to love him? maybe you will split and realise that you did love him desperately - I want you to have your happy ever after.

how did u meet him?

I asked my friends to introduce me to the men they thought would suit me the best. I gave them a list of my requirements and one of them handed me dp.

Twinny thats lovely,are you saying you can never imagine loving him or that you dont know how to know if you do love him?

I don't think I love him and don't think that will ever change.

Twinny just be really sure before anything spirals way out of your control.

I am really sorry to hear about you and dp twinset

I hope you work out what to do

Sorry to hear about you and your dp, hopwe things work out.

Just in case you hadn't realised though, tax credits are based on gross income, not net, so just be sure you're inputting the right figures when you come out with £400 a month.