Help needed re. ex and his mum!

[Pringled]

Very very quick history:

• Had two children with an ex, he has no parental responsibilities/rights
• He has never been bothered with them, to the point he has even flat out said so in front of them.
• I am now married with two more children
• His mum has always been the only reason he ever gets in touch, and she even tried to stop us moving out of Scotland back to England. (They live up there, we live in England, since this will have legal ramifications)
• His sister accuses him of repeatedly raping her when she was younger, but has all but given up getting anyone to listen to her, even the mother. She seems to have stopped now just so her mum will look at her, but obviously this SERIOUSLY concerns us.

Every now and then the ex's mum decides she wants to see the eldest two and starts poking around friends for information about what we're up to, where we are, etc, etc. She then kicks the ex up the bum till he makes a half hearted stab at seeing the kids, it then goes ugly, kids get upset, all goes to hell, he vanishes again for a year or two.

Well the whole 'poking around' stage has started again and she's made noises about just showing up for a birthday in October.

We're phoning around solicitors to try to find out if they can do anything to help us, but because we have to pay for an initial consultation they won't even tell us if there's anything they could possibly do to help that's worth paying for!

So does anyone know what we can do? We know that he has the right to apply to see them, etc, but he never does. Can we stop the mother from doing this every few years in any way? Is there really anything a solicitor can help us with in this regard? Would paying for a first meeting with one be a waste of time and money?

i am not sure if there is anything you can do but it sounds like it really bothers you so perhaps it is a good idea to a solicitor.

before you go down this route, perhaps CAB could give you some advice?

just out of interest, it sounds like your ex is the sh*t, is his mother the same, or could you tolerate contact with her? perhaps rather than them turning up out of the blue you are proactive with the situation and set a time for the children to see her, that way it is much more in your control?

only just seen this pringled - what happened?

as far as i know, grandparents have no automatic rights of access - its entirely up to you. I'd get a solictor asap and if necessary play hard ball say she is harassinig you (which she is) and get them to write to her to back off.

Even if your ex has rights to visit - it does not have to be in your home, it can be at an approved social services contact centre.

His mother is his problem and she has absolutely no rights over you or your children - so ignore her and get on with your life.

I think you should see the CAB but as far as I undrestand if you were not married then he has very few rights and his mother has none.

most solicitors give a half hour advice session free to anyone, then if you dont get legal aid you pay after that.