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Original poster

family money issue

13 replies

ickletickle · 23/03/2009 09:59

this isnt so much a "AIBU" post as a what would you do. Basically inherited some money in 2000, had already used that years isa allowance, my sister hadnt, so I invested 7k in her name. stock fell massively, thought it was best to leave in place in the hope that it climbed back to original 7k value and then cash it in.

so following birth of dd, we start looking into our finacial affairs and it comes to light that sister cashed the ISA in last year, with a value of 3100. She says she did it by mistake, very apologetic and i'm not to bothered about the fact that she did this without telling me but I do think she should give me the £3100 back.

However, she's now stalling, as she invested the money in something else, which of course has fallen in value.

She's not poor - she just got made redundant with a £50 k payout and walked straight into a £60k pa job, and has a mortgage about 1/3 the size of mine.

dont know how forceful to be with this, thought about saying I have to have the full amount within 6 months, otherwise it will just drag on. is this unreasonable?

also posted in AIBU

OP posts:
notagrannyyet · 23/03/2009 12:34

Would never have entered my head to have invested in another adults name.

DH invested money in my name (but we are married!), and we did put money in DC name when thet were small but this is different.

Don't understand the 'by mistake' bit either.
Are you sure you really know your sisters financial situation? Maybe she has large debts you know nothing about. It's easy to make assumptions about others finacial situation. Nice house, car, well paid job doesn't always mean money in the bank.

Don't know how forceful you can be either. If the money was in her name, then she could & did do what she wanted with it.

Original poster
ickletickle · 23/03/2009 12:42

I dont for a moment think she did it "by mistake" but dont really want to make this an issue, so am sort of letting this bit go, for the sake of family rift. dont think she has any other money issues, we're a fairly close knit family and her husband is mega anal so i cant see she would hide it.. arggghhh wish i'd never got involved.

OP posts:
KingCanuteIAm · 23/03/2009 12:48

My friend did this, used his daughters ISA allowance when he had already used his own. Then he fell out with her so she cashed it and gave it all away. He had no rights to it at all and could have fallen foul off having gifted over his annual allowence etc.

People don't do things like that by mistake, she has taken your money but you have no way to prove it was yours and no legal claim on it if you could!

If you want a happy family life let it go the only way you are going to get it back IMO is to either embarrass her by telling faimly about it or by keeping at her till she breaks - both of which would be a one way street with regard to your extended family!

ilovemydogandMrObama · 23/03/2009 12:55

wow - your sister is really taking the piss... Technically the money was in her name, but for all intents and purposes, it was yours...

Absolutely not worth falling out over, but could you say something like you had it earmarked for x?

lalalonglegs · 23/03/2009 13:25

I would definitely say that you were planning to pay for a family holiday or something equally emotive to get her to cough up. If you feel that it was no mistake, you have to ask yourself how likely it is that she will hand the money over.

GloriousGoosebumps · 23/03/2009 18:38

I don't believe that you should give up on your £3k too easily. Ask your sister for the money and say you want it by a certain date. Given that you know she has the £50k redundancy money, ask for it's return within weeks; 6 months is far too long a period when you know she has the money. Then you'll have to wait and see her response, she's probably expecting you to let it go - is that what you've done in the past?

Original poster
ickletickle · 23/03/2009 18:52

well to be honest, i've never been in this position before. and given i have just had first dd, losing a fair chunk of my income with a massive mortgage, the money would come in very useful and whilst i dont want to fall out with her over it, its a lot of money!

OP posts:
nickschick · 23/03/2009 18:55

I think your sister is taking the p* nd I think you are being a walkover-get strong tell her you want your 7k -its theft albeit veiled .......with sisters like that who needs thieves.

SalBySea · 23/03/2009 19:08

Dont really think you have a leg to stand on I'm afraid but if you want it back, stay very very pleasant and friendly but call/text/ask her for it EVERY day till she gives in for the sake of her own sanity.

When her inbox is blocked it with text and emails saying:
"hiya, How are you? car needs X or Y so need that money Asap so can ya transfer it to a/c no * this week"
"hi, money hasnt gone in yet, do ya have the right sort code? its ***"
"hiya, how are you? here's my a/c numbers again in case you dont still have them, its the X branch......"
"hi, how are you, car still buggered, REALLY need that new X, garage guy said he can do it on wed so can you transfer the money ASAP, thanks xxx"
be sickly sweet but uber persistent and annoying and she WILL EVENTUALLY crack

by the way, money is never completely locked away - even when you agree to a 1/3/10 yr term you CAN get your money back, just might have to forgo any interest or pay a charge

DaisyMooSteiner · 24/03/2009 08:53

"Maybe she has large debts you know nothing about. It's easy to make assumptions about others finacial situation. Nice house, car, well paid job doesn't always mean money in the bank."

So what? She has stolen (morally, if not legally) a substantial sum of money from the OP and she should return it. If she's stupid enough to be in a well paid job but living above her means then that's not the OP's problem.

Helennn · 24/03/2009 13:10

By the way Salbysea - if it is in a bond then it could be locked away. Someone I know had money in the Bradford and Bingley when it looked like it might go belly up and she could NOT get her money out.

SalBySea · 24/03/2009 19:03

I have a 5 year bond, I CAN have the money back, not 100% of it as I would have to pay the penalty, but most of it - you cant get your money back from a bond on the terms you agreed if you cash it in early (e.g. if its a capital protected bond, the capital is NOT protected and you have to take the stock market loss (if that's the way it went), but you can get it back.

kylesmyloveheart · 27/03/2009 00:22

OMG what a cow. if she did it be mistake she would/should have gave the money to you when she realised. she has no intention of doing that or would have done it already.

how does she sleep at night!!

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