Separation and family home

[Trinab75]

Hello,

I separated with my partner of 12 years with whom I have 2 young children with 7 months ago, following numerous problems, which I would have been happy to work through, but there was no communication possible towards the end.

I have stayed in the house with the children, this is owned as tenants in common, the house was bought for £132.000 3 years ago and is now worth £125.000 approx possibly less now as it was last valued in May with an outstanding mortgage of £89,000.

I put the deposit down on this house following selling my sole property to fund the purchase of this, the deed of trust states I shall receive £25,000 and then half the remaining equity if we were to sell.

However I do not wish to sell I wish to remain here with the children, I have just had my transfer of equity request declined as I do not meet the affordability criteria for our particular lender to have a sole mortgage.

I have put it to my ex that I will get a sole mortgage asap when the market picks up to release him from the responsibility.But he would like a payout even if it means selling the house, despite the house we own jointly depreciating in value over the past 3 years and the only equity being what is left from my initial deposit.

I will struggle to take over a mortgage and pay him out, he is taking legal advice next week with the view to forcing me to find the some funds to pay him out and he has said he would like 5-10k.

I was given legal advice some time ago which said I was entitled to stay in the family home until my children left FTE, not that this is what I want. I was hoping to be left until I could be offered an affordable sole mortgage.

Does anyone know if he can force me to take on a new mortgage (which will be substantially less affordable than this one)or sell the house when the house is worth less now than when we bought it 3 years ago?

Also, I have made the mortgage payments in full since Sept and only received maintainence payments, the deed of trust stated we should contribute equally to the mortgage payments.

Any advice much appreciated.

I don't know, but will bump for you.
And watch.
Good Luck

You cannot be forced to take on a mortgage you cannot afford, and it's highly unlikely a bank would approve this anyway.

Are you working? Have you included all the future benefits as income?

Hiya,

Thanks for replying.

I am working part time and receive tax credits.My current lender does not take benefits or maintenance into consideration though unfortunately.

I have been offered a mortgage 10k above what I need which is ridiculous as I am just about comfortable now, the current mortgage has reverted to a tracker rate at the right time and the monthly payments are fantastic at the mo, although I also just about managed when they were at their highest just after he left.

I do not have any debts/loans, very rarely go out and still the mortgage payments would be difficult to sustain despite what I may have been offered.

I am worried that I may be put in the position where I am stuck between a rock and a hard place of either selling the house to free up a couple of grand for my ex or take on a mortgage in such a difficult climate, that is going to add thousands on to my balance in fees and many extra years, its so frustrating as I could easily have given my Ex some money and been comfortable if I could have kept this mortgage on.

I am dreading the news after he has been to see a solicitor on Tuesday, as I am still struggling coming to terms with our split and trying to be strong.

Trina you're situation sounds like mine. You could saty in your house if you have someone who can go on your mortgage with you. My dad is going on my mortgage with me and I will be taking on a £112,000 mortgae ona £6,500 salary!!! Lenders apparently like pensions!!! With my (so called - ahem...) child maintenance and tax credit I can afford it if I stretch it over 40 years rather than the 15 I have left to run. BUT... I have my house and the market will pick up one day. Lenders seem scared to look at affordability these days!

It looks like:

there is £36,000 equity
less £10,000 to sell/buy
\your deed states you should get £25,000

ergo

£1000 to him

An 80/20 split is very common here in Northants and any court will take welfare of children into account. You need to ask round lenders and try and find someone to guarantee or be added to your mortage. nationwide have been great with me. Good luck xxx

I'm assuming from the information that you have provided that you and your ex were not married? If this is the case, then the person who advised you that you can stay in the house until the children leave FT education is incorrect. This is sometimes a viable option where the parties are married and the wife has the option of applying to the Courts for various orders for ancillary relief (financial support) but if you are not married, this is not possible.

However, one benefit of not being married is that your ex would find it very difficult to force a sale of the property. If you were married, it would be relatively easy for him to make an application to the Courts once divorce proceedings were commenced but it is much harder for unmarried partners. I would imagine that any solicitor would discourage him from making any such application as it simply isn't worth it, particularly bearing in mind his relatively small share of the equity on the basis of your declaration/deed of trust.

with regards to the question regarding the mortgage, no one can force you to take out a mortgage against your wishes.
As Leslaki says, you should ask around various lenders as some will take into account maintenance payments once they have been up and running for a few months. I am with Nationwide and they took into account maintenance I was receiving from my ex.

Good luck

I have no one I can add to the mortgage unfortunately as I am sure my lender would agree to that. I left a very difficult family situation to work when I was very young to save and eventually bought my sole house when I was 21, to escape that life, non of my family members would be in a position to be named on the mortgage with me.

I have been offered a mortgage elsewhere with a lender who would take my benefits/maintenaince into consideration, the point is regardless of the offers,some of which are above what I need and ridiculous, the new monthly payment amounts would be difficult to sustain, as the mortgages available at the moment are far from competitive. Especially if my maintenaince was ever compromised.

I am glad you are in a position to add your Dad to the mortgage Leslaki, it must be such a relief for you.

We are not married MOS, one of the many reasons I knew the relationship would never works as it is apparant we do not hold the same values.

My way forward following hearing the news that my transfer of equity request had been declined, was to say to my ex, that I would like to wait until the market as improved slightly before taking up a sole mortgage and at the time I would try free up as much money as I could afford to pay him something, possibly about £3k with me covering the costs of the remortgage/redemption etc first which would amount to about 1k/1.5k. He wants more and he wants it sooner rather than later.

I have been awake most of the night thinking of someone I could ask to come on the mortgage with me, but I really can't think of anyone, I have a good relationship with my Mum now but she is struggling with a p/t job and paying rent on her own property, and most other people I know have their own mortgages.

Anyway I guess only time will tell, I am dreading a big legal wrangle over this as it all seems unbearable at the moment and I have a 2 and 8 year old to try to find the energy to look after and a very responsible job where I need to be on the ball,its such a struggle at the moment to keep it all together.

I dont think there is much point going to see my solicitor yet though to try and put my mind at ease until I hear back from his.

Thankyou for taking the time to reply.

Try not to panic, remember these things often take forever to get resolved, in fact with a bit of heel dragging yourself you could easily stretch it out.

I find you ex's attitude a bit puzzling, as he seems to be hurting himself financially just to make you do this.

it may be worth you seeing a solicitor, and see if you can come up with a deal, he is getting so little from you buying him out, it may be worth offering him a carrot to wait.

Dragging your feet is the best option. Right now the maximum you 'owe' your ex is 7,000 - with property values continuing to fall you may owe him nothing in a few months.

You could make a final offer to him of 2000 just to go away.

I would wait and do nothing and it wouldn't stress me out - only because I have been in this position before

Is he current in his child support? If not surely that sum is being whittled down day bby day.

Thanks again for your advice. I shall try not to panic and hopefully by the time it gets to the final showdown I will be feeling slightly stronger.

I will await the outcome of the advice he gets from his solicitor and take it from there, I was hoping we would be able to reach an agreement without it coming to all this, but I guess it is not unsual.

My Ex is up to date and has been consistent with his child support LaurieFCEC. We have had a fairly amicable relationship since the split until it comes to trying to finalise things with regards to the house and then it all get's very heated, I think we both have very strong feelings for each other still and such discussions bring it all to the surface.

I will stick to my initial idea of getting a sole mortgage after the market picks up and I can get a more competitive mortgage,hopefully in 6 months or so unless I am forced to do otherwise at which point I shall see my solicitor.

Babybarrister, I am certain this is the very advice I was given initially, but I am also sure that it would be an expensive option, as due to the interest rates/mortgage payments dropping I am no longer entitled to legal aid.