Legal rights re separation

[popcorn123]

Left family home with dc's 10 months ago.
I stopped contributing to the mortgage at that time and paid rent on my own place.
Have not asked for maintenacne and none has bee offerered. He has bought christmas presents but no financial contribution/
Mortgage replayments £1500 my rent for 2 bed terraced house £600.
I Have worked part-time since ds1 born in 2004 and earn 55-60% of ex's salary.

He has no intention of selling house ( agres not a good idea at moment) and he does not want ot buy me out.

He believes that he will be intitled to more than 50% of house when sold as I stopped paying mortgage as per his legal advice which is different to what I was told.

He also believes that when our penions etc are divided my lower wage ( to care for our dc's) will not count and I will not be entitled to a slightly greater than 50% share to ensure financial security for my dc's and will refuse to allow it

I currenty pay £300/month childcare. This will go up in August to potentially double due to lots or reasons. He says he will think about contributing.
He feels that because he pays the mortgage that obliviated him from anything else.

Is he right?
Have I lost lots of finacail security by moving out. He was abusive I felt i had no choice. My solicior told me I hadn't but now I am worried.

You're paying a solicitor and listening to his crap and balderdash? You have the DCs, you and the DCs should be in the family home, and he in a rented flat, not the other way round. He cannot "refuse to allow" financial security re your pensions - the court will decide that if you can't negotiate it between you. Why isn't he paying for the children?

In short, he was abusive when you were with him and he's abusive now. Only communicate through solicitors and don't believe a word he says. Next step, he'll threaten to get the Dcs off you - I'll tell you in advance, he hasn't a snowball's chance.

As Oldlady says, you should not have moved out and should have stayed put in the house with the DC's rather than moving into rented.
He cannot expect to stay long term in the house although I note you agree it is not a good time to sell.
The most sensible option would be for you and the children to return to the matrimonial home and him to rent. However, I imagine that you will probably not want to do that so therefore you need to consider what you are going to do long term as you can't carry on the way you are.

When the financial aspects of a divorce are decided by the Courts (if not agreed amicably in advance by the parties) then the starting point is a 50/50 division of the assets but obviously all sorts of other information needs to be taken into account.
The Court will look at all available assets to include the value of both parties pensions. If it is a relatively short marriage then there may not be an order made in relation to pensions however if it is a long marriage and his pension fund is a significant asset then this may be taken into account. It may well be that you received a larger share of the equity of the house in return for him keeping all of his pension. Without having full financial disclosure of all assets it is impossible for anyone to advise on the likely outcome of this.

Regarding maintenance, as he is paying all of the mortgage, which is quite a significant sum, he has a good argument that he cannot afford to pay child maintenance (although obviously that really depends on how much he earns) As your financial circumstances are changing later this year and your childcare increasing you really need to sort this out sooner rather than later.
What exactly is your solicitor doing? Have you/your H commenced divorce proceedings? If not, you need to seriously consider doing so. If your H will not agree to resolve the financial aspects of the breakdown of your marriage (ie sell the house, pay maintenance et) then you need to have divorce proceedings underway so that you are in a position to issue an application for ancillary relief (financial support) through the Courts. You cannot do this if a divorce is not underway.

As Oldlady also says, ignore what he says and just communicate through your solicitors unless you feel that you may be able to resolve matters through mediation but if that was the case, I would have hoped that your Solicitor would have suggested that

Thanks

I know i shouldn't have moved out of the house but at the time I was too emotionally worn out and had been told that a didn't have enough grounds fro an exclusion order (no police records etc)

I try and go back home but I have arranged school/nursery in my new area which is easier for work.

We haven't started divorce procedings currently trying to sort out separation agreement which he says he will be amicable with.
He earns £4100 net/month - so he can easily cope with the mortgage.

Will just listen to my solicitor,

Hi popcorn,
on the basis of what he is earning, I can't see why he can't afford to pay some child maintenance as well as the mortgage of £1,500 pcm.
If you are going down the separation agreement route he will need to provide full financial disclosure (as will you) and hopefully you will then be able to reach an amicable agreement with regard to the finances. Good luck

Thanks

My solicior agrees with you and we have proposed £300/month - he has already verbally refused this but will have to wait correspondance from his solicitor.

I will try and get him to pay one of the ds's childcare fees which may be more acceptable to him than paying money to me but will not make any difference to my finacncial situation.

Wish I wasn't having to do all of this.