Debts mounting and DH is ignoring them

[moneyandstuff]

I have namechanged because DH knows my usual name.

DH has his own business and as can be expected, things are not going well. all was fine until a few months ago. he is overdrawn and getting fined for returned direct debits etc. the fines and charges are mounting.

we can sort of get by on my limited income - there is enough for rent, food, utilities etc so we do consider ourselves more fortunate than many.

DH is taking the head in the sand approach. he reckons that writing to his creditors will make his credit rating worse than it is. i said it cannot get any worse so let's write to them, ask for leniency and for the charges to be stopped. i can pay a bit into the accounts each month as a goodwill gesture

i don't know what to do and DH is not doing anything. should DH write to the creditors explaining situation and offering to pay x amount per month pending things getting better or what should we do?

i cannot see that ignoring this mess will do any good. DH and i are not having marital difficulties about this, in fact it has brought us closer but i know that if i try to talk about it he will blow up. i know that it will be through being worried and not because he is angry with me. i want to write the letters for him (i am the one who does the form filling and letter writing in our household!) and get him to sign so I can post them. doing this cannot be worse than getting a summons, surely???

help! DH won't discuss it and i don't want to talk to RL friends too much about it.....

My DH runs his own business too - early this year I sat him down and made him go through the finances, ditching anything we didn't need, areas we could save on. This was the first time he's had to do this and his business has been going 20+ years but god times are tough! It was the reality check that we both needed. I consider ourselves very lucky that we do have money in the bank, I have a job that is reasonably secure and pays quite well - I have changed to full time to help with the household money situation - and that by cutting back we can keep our heads above water and ride out the storm.

You are correct in by defaulting on payments to creditors his credit rating WILL be affected. The best thing to do is face the music and contact any creditors and ask for help. Loads of people are unfortunately in this situation at the moment. How about you go to the local citizens advice bureau? They would be able to advise you on the best way forward - take details of the debts with you (?). Good luck, I feel for you I really do, we have friends in this situation.

thanks, littlemissbossy. i agree that we must face the music as you put it.

will try to have a calm talk tonight. he will react like a bear with a sore head but i understand why.

i will find it very hard to go to CSB because i childmind 11 hours a day!!! not an ideal outing for little ones.

i will muddle through with the letters myself.