HELP just received divorce papers through the post, does anyone have any knowledge to run through it with me???

[lunavix]

We will be seperated two years in August and I didn't want to get divorced before this time to be honest. I originally petitioned ex last year for his unreasonable behaviour (see my many posts) but he ignored it.

I have now received a petition for MY unreasonable behaviour!

One is my unreasonable behaviour on the death of my mother, which happened AFTER we had seperated, being argumentative, shopping, and the fact apparently he wasn't allowed any money.

Now it's got the bit he's asking for, the bits I'm querying are

• That the respondent (me?) may be ordered to pay the costs of this suit only in the event that it is defended

2 - That the petitioner may be granted the following ancillary relief - -an order for maintenance pending suit -a periodical payments order

• a secured provision order
• a lump sum order
• a property adjustment order

WHAT ARE THOSE????!!!

And it says an order under section 24C, 25B, 25C in respect of respondents pension benefits - ??? pension benefits???!!!

My next query is the arrangement for children forms, home address for children he's put down mine (which is a suprise)

then it says does your spouse pay maintenance, he's put yes and the amount. Doesn't that mean me as he's filled it out?? Then the box saying is it agreed says yes, then the one saying applying for a maintenance order is blank.

Then it says do the children see spouse and he's put the timse and days he sees them, but surely again that's indicating me???

I forgot to say, do I need to accept it, can I not just refuse till we've been seperated two years?

I'm going out so have to be quick. Firstly - the costs bit is standard, you won't have to pay his if you allow the divorce to go throuhg. you should have received an Acknowledgment of SErvice form - when this is completed (by a solicitor, please go to a solicitor!) it will ask if you intend to defend the divorce, you can put "no, but i do not admit to the allegations made". That way you aren't agreeing with what he put as your unreasonable behaviour, but you are willing to let it go through to get the divorce.

Anicllary relief is basically all the financial stuff. Again its standard wording on a divorce petition (all the order bits)

Re the children form - I suspect he's got a bit muddled up. Sounds like he's put in his details instead of yours. (maintenance, contact etc)

DON'T PANIC. Go see a solicitor (I recommend using one from Resolution - very family focused). Hopefully you will be albe to agree finances and childrne matters amicably (or reasonably amicably anyway)

Good luck x

he's giving you the bum's rush, trying now to divorce you. You don't 'have[ to do anything till the 2 years sep. Actually, you could point out to him that you could stretch it to seven yrs, if you really wanted to be evasive and difficult.
he has counter petitioned you.

you really need to speak to your solicitor. AND also things like this should not be coming directly to you, they shoud be going to your solicitor first. This happened to me, and my solicitor got straight onthe phone and told off his solicitor, for bombarding me with shite i didn't understand.

oh i didn't see you'd petitioned him - hurriedly posting as baby stirs! Yep, take it all to your sol

Sorry to hear you're going through this. When I finally divorced my exH, after several years of being separated, I could not afford a solicitor. I used these people. At first I was sceptical but they really helped me sort through the process. HTH. Just realised that I sound like I'm their PR. Really I'm not , just telling you about my experince.

agree with what MamaG has said but just wanted to add a bit more.
Yes, you are the Respondent to his petition however what happened to the petition that you issued last year? If it has not been withdrawn then it needs to be dealt with. It may well be that he did not tell his solicitor that you had already issued a petition and so if you did not withdraw your peition his solicitors need to be aware of the existence of it.

Totally agree with what MamaG has said ref the request for costs, totally routine to request this in a petition. Also, with regards to Ancillary relief, the various orders listed are all the available ones on divorce and it is quite standard practice to request all these in the petition to keep the door open for a later application should it become necessary. It does not automatically mean that all of these orders will be sought so don't worry about this.

Ref the statement of arrangements form, if the children are living with you (or the majority of their time is with you) it is quite correct that he has included your home address. With regards to the maintenance, it sounds like he has got confused.

If you are unhappy with any of the comments in the statement of arrangements form you can make brief comments regarding this (on the acknowledgement of service form you received with the petition) or if a lot of things you are unhappy with you can file (complete and send to court) your own form (available from Court office)

If you accept the marriage is over, you have several choices. If your petition was not withdrawn you could contact his solicitors and say you want it to proceed on your petition and he withdraws his or you could perhaps reach an agreement that yours is withdrawn and you go ahead on his or perhaps even both go through. Difficult to advise without knowing what happened to yours, ie if it was withdrawn or is still out there.

If he insists on pursuing his and you are unhappy I would say defending is a pointless option as really it is only a delaying tactic. Ultimately the divorce would go through and you may end up paying his costs.
I've dealt with a defended divorce previously and it did go through (behaviour petition) there was a huge delay (and HUGE costs to the party defending) but it went through in the end. As the District Judge said at the hearing, if one party is saying the marriage has irretrievably broken down and the other is saying 'oh no it hasn't', it is quite clear that it has.

ref the two years separation option, if that was previously agreed then you may be able to negotiate with his solicitors that his petition be withdrawn and a petition issued by one of you when the two year period is up.

Pireatecat, not sure why you are saying it could be stretched out for 7 years, this is simply not the case. If for whatever reason neither of the behaviour petitions went through and neither of them agreed to two years separation and consent, then either could petition after they've been separated for 5 years and the consent of the Respondent is not required.

Agree with MamaG about instructing a 'Resolution' Solicitor if possible. If however you cannot afford to instruct a solicitor you would be able to act in person and I'm pretty sure you would get all the advice you need on here. Good luck

why thank you babybarrister. Hope your throat is better now and you are back on top form

Sorry, I had to post really quickly yesterday due to baby stirring. Mumoverseas has put it much better than I did!

BabyB - I remember a petition once being refused by a Judge as the reasons for UB were crap

MamaG, sounds like the DJ at my local CC, he did that once. You are not in the Surrey/Sussex area are you? He was notorious for rejecting everything. At one stage it was around 78% of Consent Orders on first submission!
BTW, how old is your baby? Mine is 4 weeks and I only managed my longer than normal post as DH had him [wink}

No I'm a northerner! Baby is 18 weeks now

Congrats to you, I didn't know you'd had a baby! What did you have?

So you have pedantic DJ's up there too

I had a boy, Harrison. Definitely my last at number 4! How about you? (OP, sorry for hijack)

mumoverseas

That's all right.

For personal issues I want to drag it out till 2 years (August).

Can I do this easily? And I don't actually want to let on the reason to the solicitor so what reason would be acceptable?

I concur. To be honest, many people would far prefer to be divorced on the basis of 2 years separation as opposed to the potential mud slinging exercise of a behaviour petition. Hope you manage to reach an agreement and it can all go through as amicably as possible

Hi all please advice because I apparently only have 7 days to reply to the courts about a divorce and there is no mention of what my Son and I are owed and the joint owned flat that is live in that we both pay interest only mortgage on but I pay all repairs and only get discounted CSA from him and he is on 5 x times my part time salary! I am so scared for my Son and I and cannot afford advice.... Please someone could you help? X

ZOMBIE THREAD! This thread is 7 years old. Might have a better chance of a reply if you start a new thread

Single, you need to start a new thread in the Divorce and Separation section if you want anyone to see this

ZOMBIE thread.

OP, I suggest you start your own thread about this so you get better advice.

Ah thank you all 😊 I will have to work out how as new to this 💖👍