Can anyone tell me whats the point in writing court statements????

[meNmine]

Hi

Im wondering... i am in the middle of a court case with my ex regarding contact with our daughter.
My ex from the start of his application has lied and lied and when i recived his statement i couldnt get over the lies he told, some really pointless ones and some huge ones. I got evidence or statements to prove nearly all the lies but was told it wouldnt look good to the court if i attached them all as it would look like i was trying to discredit him? also told not to say anything to cafcass as they would think im bitter?? sooo whats the point in them is it just to wind each other up and make the situation worse, and whats the point if you can just lie..

I find this so terible this is my daughters life and i feel that i cant open my mouth about anything as that would make me...bitter

Hi meNmine,
surely you are not saying that your Solicitor has told you not to use the evidence you have that your ex is lying and not to tell CAFCASS? If so, you need a new solicitor.
Of course there is no point filing statements in the Court that are wrong and not pointing this out. It makes a mockery of the whole system if people do that.

Obviously, you don't want to come across as bitter to either the Judge or the CAFCASS officer, but clearly, you can't allow lies to go unchallenged. You need to therefore find a way of dealing with it which shows that you are setting the record straight so that the DJ has all the correct factual evidence before him. You need to do this in a way in which you are not simply 'mud slinging' but being factual and concise.

I don't know a huge amount about it linked to access however is it possible that as you were upset it can across as very emotional to the person that told you this and they ahve got the wrong idea?

HI just read your message , same thing happended to me , the dad wasnt around during the pregnancy but lied saying he supported me during it and i wouldnt let him near the baby , once again a lie , its his partner that isnt allowed near the baby , we both got called into speak to someone in the court and i toke the evidence with me , long story short , cos of things his partner done and him during the pregnancy and after havin my son he was given contact centre and walked away from it all , so answer to your question yes you can use your evidence its your daughter your thinking about , only evidence you cant use is voice evidence but u can use text messages , keep everything dated, good luck

Hi
Thanks for your replies

Mumoverseas Sol has said that if i use everything i have it will look like my only motive is to discredit him and that no one would listen to a word i say!

Thats what im struggling with how to get it across in a factual way it is very hard not to get wound up about it, as i think what a bloody nerve he drags us through court and lie through his backside, what for, what on earth will he achive by dealing with it in this way, other than keeping us at logger heads.

He even lyed in his application where it asks have you or anyone involved in this application been involved in court proceedings with another child, he wrote no, when in fact him and his whole family had been in court 2 yrs before as his sisters child had something wrong with him, and it was thought someone had shaken the baby!

So far my dealings with this system is that it makes a mockery of its self, by asking for statements then saying not really interested in the facts just this general rule that a child should no both parents (general.. a word that should never be used for a child)

LoveBeingAMummy you are probably right but dont know how to do it without getting upset, i hate being called a liar, im far too honest at times and pride myself on being able to have the guts to tell the truth about anything and everything lol.

Longagegap thank you so much, nice if thats the right word to know its not just me that has to waste time proving lies when all you want to do is get on with your life. Did your ex turn upto any of the meetings at the contact centre?

meNmine, sorry but I think you need a new solicitor.
You shouldn't be struggling with getting it across in a factual way, thats your solicitors job to draft the statement and use their skills to word it in such a way that it is precise, concise and to the point and sets out the actual facts and corrects any misunderstandings (lies)

the starting point is that a child should know both parents but obviously there has to be a balance and if the child could potentially at risk through being with one parent then that must be taken into account.

I think you need to talk to your solicitor with regards to your concerns, or perhaps write to him/her if easier. If you have no faith in your solicitor/the system then it will make the whole process even more difficult for you.

Hi meNmine , i know what its like when someone is lying and you know it , i think it depends on what lies are being told by him . If your worried about your daughter being near him then i would see an other solictor . But the courts arent silly either (most of the time ) they will know he is telling lies as they deal with this all the time. Hope everything works out for you and your daughter

Court statements are evidence in chief so if something is not in the statement you won't be able to talk about it when giving oral evidence - if you give oral evidence at the hearing at all. So if all these allegations against your ex aren't in your statement, you won't be able to tell the court about them.

I always thought the whole intention of an adversarial process was to discredit your opponent in the court's eyes (without looking like a raving vindictive nutter yourself) but there we go, perhaps I'm old fashioned.

Sounds like you and your solicitor need to have a serious talk about his/her conduct of your case, as mumoverseas says.

It depends on the relevance of the issues that your ex has lied about. It may be that the lies that your ex has told bear no relevance to the issue that the Court has to determine. Your solicitor is probably reluctant to embark upon the filing of numerous statements to contradict your ex, if the issues are irrelevant.

HOWEVER-your ex has raised these matters in statement form and you have a right to respond in your statement. Such a response does not have to sound vindictive-you can simply say that it is not your desire to raise the temperature of the proceedings but as ex has raised these matters, it is only right that you should alert the Court to the areas in which ex has misled the Court in his statement etc.

Your solicitor should have the ability to respond to these lies without making you appear vindictive. If your version of events are in your statement-then Cafcass will have sight of this and so you will not have to spend your meeting with him/her giving your version of events on issues that may not be relevant to her/his investigation.

It's so frustrating. Same thing has happened to me..... Read his statement yesterday.

Can anyone top this for I liar!!!!!!!?? My ex was briefly in the army, a static post with. No postings abroad. We lived in married quarters before he got kicked out just after I'd left him. Dv all through our relationship which is ongoing with new partners. He has lied by saying his dv was because of the stress of fighting in Iraq!!!!!!! He's never bloody been!!!! I'mivid,how can he blame his behaviour on something that's me we happened... An insult to the real men out there being killed!!!!!! I don't care how I. One across....... I WILL mention this!!

Sorry!! I hijacked!! I'm just so angry!

I agree babybarrister, so satisfying seeing the other side squirming as you rip them to shreds.
I miss advocacy

I thibk chipkid is right thats how sol kind of put it to me, and i do beleive that she wouldnt let me do it for my own sake.

I saw cafcass today and one of the 1st things said was well ur ex says in his statement he doesnt drink maybe one or two pints.. but i attached his facebook that was day after day him making statements about his drinking, so although linited to what i could add he did pick up on it.

I did however give everything i had and said to him this is all completely irelevent to the issue of contact but as he was making life changing decisions for my daughters life i needed him to know all the facts. He did say though that no it didnt really matter that he had lied it would make no difference to anything.

I get that we are suppose to be discussing contact but still cant get my head around the point of spending all that time and energy writting these statements when you can say what the bloody hell you like. just pointless to me.

why do thest liers bother, i mean whats the bloody point!!

I think because they no they are in the wrong and its always best to blame someone else and they cant own up to their actions . So they keep telling lies

I'll have great fun discrediting his lies! One by one . I spoke to ex about his lies in his stTement. He is now saying it's not his statement and his signature has been forged!!! That's cos he feels stupid Bout lying

meNmine - I do think you need someone to represent you in court to refute the inaccuracies in your ex's statement, rather than you trying to do it through your statement. I am still not quite sure if you have a solicitor or whether or not they will be in court with you.

The reason I say that you need someone else to do the refuting for you is because it is much easier for you to prove the 'lies' if you give the evidence you have to a lawyer who can then present that evidence on your behalf on the day itself and perhaps cross examine your husband.

The advice you have had so far is correct in the sense that your job is to appear a responsible and sensible person who has no axe to grind. I know that for you personally is very hard to accept but if you have a good lawyer with all the evidence you have then they should be able to make mincemeat of your ex's statement and you just have to sit there looking serene and calm.

What chipkid and others said is right it is your solicitor that should be responding and destroying your ex's statement not you.

AbetaDad-it is for the party to make the statement-it is their evidence that they wish ro give to the Court-it has to come from the client-not the lawyer. A decent solicitor should however be able to draft a statement from the client that makes the client appear reasonable and calm-and should be at pains to point out that the client has no option but to correct the inaccuracies of her ex's statement. It is then of course the job of the lawyer to expose the lies and inaccuracies during cross-examination.