Help needed to turn around DP who is TERRIBLE with money

[sifuentes]

OK
Love him as I do, which is very much indeed, DP has no idea what he doing when it comes to money. He finds it incredibly difficult to discuss even though he is worried about it. He always wants to talk about it later or gets very prickly when pushed.

He loves to be generous but then often runs out and sometimes has to borrow from me - I have nothing left that he can borrow from anymore unfortunately.

I worry because we are now trying for a baby together and neither of us has a pension, we don't own property, I have about 6k saved in an ISA, BUT have a big overdraft myself. (see above)
He is almost at 0 but is freelance and earning less than in previous years. I am worried that he will never change and that I will never be able to feel secure as a result.

I think I need to be in control of the finances and he agrees although I have no idea how seeing as it is never the right time to talk about it for long enough.

Sorry. Total rant and ramble.

In summary

1. are we destined to be working til we're 100?

2. should I insist on operating all bank accounts?

2. YES. I did and it has been so much better. Have the bank accounts all on online banking and in joint names (so that you do have a legal right to operate them, and so that you can check them at a moment's notice) Don't let him have a credit card or an overdraft, either - encourage him to only spend cash, so that he can physically see when it is running out - and you will have to be tough and not lend him any money. If he has to spend money on certain things (petrol for work?), and is incapable of keeping the money aside, buy Tesco gift cards and give him those to pay for fuel with but nothing else. Anything else (even lunch at work, personal toiletries, etc) he can live without if he has spent the money on other things.

If you go onto www.moneysavingexpert.com you can follow the guides to get your bills down as well. There is also a fab "demotivation calculator" which shows you how much you spend on things - for example if you buy a magazine every week, how much it costs you over a year, or if you buy coffee every day how much it is every month. It also will tell you whether it is worth using your savings to cancel out your overdraft, which it might well be. Then you can build up the savings again but not touch the overdraft facility.

Oh thanks CherryChoc
Very helpful post indeed. I must press on and sort out some new accounts. I think secretly he would be quite relieved to be given pocket money. I also know that in reality he likes to be in control though. Still, I can't keep pretending that he is going to sort himself out, can?!

Yes - take control DH was bad at running up CC so thos are cleared now but we only have 1 CC and that is mine. We also moved to a joint bacnk account and life has been easier since.