How would you divide the bills if you have different incomes?

[DrTrillianAstra]

Just wondering what you all think is the best way to divide household expenditure.

DP and I are both just finished studying and are job-hunting, and it seems likely that we will end up earning different amounts. Up until now we have had identical incomes, so we have contributed equally to the joint account, which pays for rent, utilities, and food.

I want to know which of these scenarios you think is fairest:

A) Contribution to joint account is as a % of take-home income, so (for example) half my wages and half DP's wages go into the joint account. So whoever earns more contributes more, but also keeps more.

B) Each person gets to keep the same amount, so whoever earns mre contributes more, but both have the same 'disposable' income.

C) Something in the middle of A and B (not sure how to work it out)

D) We each contribute the same to the joint account, because we're both eating the food, both using the electric, both living in the flat (this is not really an option, so don't choose it okay?)

We don't have children so there's no issue of childcare, SAHPing, etc.

Thanks!

we dont really have his money and my money. All money comming into the household is our money so bills get paid by whoever has time to go to the bank and pay em

When dp was working ft and me pt we halved the bills down the middle and had a joint account for mortgage and bills.I received the tax credit allowance and child benefit in my personal account.

When he was ft I think he paid the food bills.

Now he is on IB and DLA and I am supporting everybody!

We have one account.

Everything goes into there and everything comes out of there.

Simple.

if you have to do it , do it as a percentage of your take home pay - then you're effectively putting in the same amount. Or put it all in one pot and then take the same amount each out to spend as you want. DH and I used to have a joint account and did option 1 (%)

now just have 1 account for both take homes and then siphon money off into other accounts (savings, bills, etc etc)

I definitely agree that ther's no need for your money/my money once you have kids (although there are definitely some MNers who have a secret running-away stash) but since we don't yet have children we're keeping separate accounts for personal stuff (anything that isn't a direct debit and doesn't come from Tesco, basically ).

We do option A. It seemed fair that if you got a pay rise you benefited from it

We have two accounts

the joint one where DH's salary is paid into and everything gets paid out of this ie bills, mortgage, lunch money, guitar lessons for the boys, going out, money that either of us need etc etc

and another account..

which my wages are paid into - this is not spent so I suppose you could look at it as our savings and it is used only for holidays.

If you are married with children, I think you cannot discuss money without discussing childcare and housework and who does more/less of that.

Well, the only thing I've ever found really worked was D. I expect some people do manage to make it work in other ways, but I do think it's difficult to do it in a way which both partners genuinely feel is fair. IME women tend to end up with a raw deal if finances are split down the middle because they're the ones who end up taking maternity leave, working part time etc when children come along.

We live together, make decisions together, plan for a joint future together; it would just seem weird to me not to have joint finances.

DrTA

DH and I did optioin B) when we were together. Worked well for us (well better for me sometimes as I did the grocery shopping which I could cut the bill for that and pocket the extra out of the budget )

We do B have always done, it made me being a SAHP much easier to cope with as there was no issue regarding rejiging fianaces.

So if you are planning children in the longer term it may be something to consider.

We had one pot even before we had dd, and even though dh had his dd.

Once we started living together everything was pooled. We had separate accounts and just paid for everything from either one or the other, it didn't matter which they were both "our" money, despite the name on the account.

Maybe I should have put a big fat IF in the post.

What would you do if you were living together but not married, and didn't have children?

Or what did you do in the past when you didn't have children?

Sorry, I meant B, not D

We were A before we had kids, now we are C, mainly because I work part-time, so my income is now very small.

As for how we work it out, DH earns about twice what I do, but has only about 50% more "pocket money" and that's mainly because he has more personal expenses due to working (like travel costs, work lunches etc). How we worked it out - well we worked out what we both needed per month really, and put the rest into the joint account.

Why don't we get rid of our personal accounts and go totally joint? Well partly because DH and I have slightly different attitudes to spending, he likes to splash and I feel he's entitled to indulge this within limits, and the limits are his "pocket money". Also I am used to thinking of the money in the joint account as family/kids money and would have trouble spending it on myself guilt-free. For eg I will spend from the joint account on a lunch with the kids, but if I go on a girls night out, I would put it on my account, it just makes me feel happier about it.

X-post - I see a lot of people did get the 'no kids' part of it.

We are planning on having children in the long-term, and nearer to that point I would suggest (insist even) that all money should be joint. However, I would never advise an unmarried couple to pool all their income (just doesn't seem safe, no matter how sure you are about each other), so I don't want to do that yet even though I am thoroughly convinced that all our money is going to end up in one pot in the end.

oh it was the best thing I ever did while still we DH - having no joint accounts - as somehow 8yrs after getting married (when we split up) I checked my credit file (so I could diassociate myself from him financially) and found we weren't associated ! (which has been good for me as I have an almost clear credit record while his is verging on bankrupt status )

Why don't you feel it's safe to pool money? It never occurred to me not to do it, either when dh and I moved in together or with my last partner of 12 years.

I don't feel it's not safe for me and DP, but if I were asked about other people I would always say 'what happens if you split up?', 'what happens if he develops a secret gambling problem?' etc.

There are plenty of people who thought they were going to be with someone forever and then it ended badly (and not in a way that you would want to have to extricate the finances). Even though I know that won't happen to us I would feel a hypocrite for not following the advice I would give to my friends.

We share money, but keep it sep at the same time. I didn't work for about 3 years, and he paid for most things (I had a lot of money saved so didn't need "pocket money").

Now I earn about 80% of what he earns (both of us are full time) and he pays mortgage, I pay nursery. We both put some money in a joint a/c but it is not very scientific. I usually pay for tesco - but sometimes he does. If one of us is a bit tight at the end of the month, the other pays.

It works for us, and I like that he doesn't see every penny I spend. We always discuss big spend decisions...

Probably your option A???

We do B. Or we did while I was working a regular job, before DS. We added up our total income, worked out our total outgoings, bills, mortgage, etc, worked out how much we thought we needed for 'joint' spending, holidays, other joint activities, house stuff, then whatever was left, we divvied up as our own (small) personal allowances to buy clothes, presents for each other and all that.

We got paid into our personal accounts then transferred out whatever we had over and above our allowances. It worked for us as DH has always earned pots more than me and it would have been daft doing it as a percentage for us.

When I had DS I was earning nothing so we did a similar calculation only it was all coming from DH rather than both of us - he just paid a lump into the joint account and another lump into my account.

Now I am earning again but it's erratic, I don't pay myself a regular monthly salary, so it's less organised and depends on what comes in when.

I suppose if you do the his money her money thing, then equal % of income is fairest.

Personally, I think the fairest thing to do is not have his money her money and just have family money. Everyone puts everything into the pot, all money is yours jointly.