seperation agreements

[RumMum]

We decided to seperate in September, there is no one else involved. He is still living in the marital home.
He is seeing a solicitor tomorrow to sort out a seperation agreement... he has written down one or two points and wants to know if I want to put anything.. I don't know what to suggest
so far we he's put down

1. unlimited access to children - weekends away, holidays, all done by arrangement

I have no problem with this...

1. Mortgage - to be paid equally by both parties. the mortgage will be paid jointly 1/2 each till DS is 18 (8 years)

our mortgage is £400 a month. we have both set up a standing order out of seperate accounts to make sure it gets paid.

1. maintenance - he has set up a standing order for £200 a month into my account, increase to be discussed by both parties possibly to be disscussed annually or when pay rises occurs

1. Maintenance - is to be on average 1/3 of his net income

1. Garage - he can use it for storage purposes

1. Sale of the house in 8 years to be discussed buy both parties in case market conditions may not be favourable... I don't know perhaps we'll rent it out?

Now bearing in mind we are seperating amicably... is there any thing else I should be suggesting we put in?

Do I really need to see a solicitor as well.. I did think we could both see her together but apparently thats not the done thing...

I'm going to cross post this in the law bit as well

thanks

yes you both need to see a solicitor.

What happens if one of you stops paying the rent. Is the house already in both names?

If you are agreed, then why are you doing a separation agreement with a solicitor?

The main issue is that you both can have independent lives with the assets. So, would include savings, trusts, shares, and contents of the house, insurances (house and life - will he want to nominate another beneficiary? What will you do/manage if he dies?)

I'd note how you will resolve any issues. For instance, 'to be discussed at * intervals...'

Cargirl - We have recently cashed in an indowment, I thought we had this agreement so we did both pay the mortgage, or did you mean in he fell ill? also do you mean on the deeds or the mortgage...

ILLMD - I think this is incase we fall out in the future... If he dies the mortgage is paid off..if he makes someone else the beneficiary does that mean he leaves them his share of the house?

there is one thing I'd like to run by you... we had a joint account that I haven't used since September.. we were always a bit overdrawn in it and he wants me to pay half the overdraft.. ok probably £200...
but what about my barclaycard.. I've put thing like the washing machine, and tumble dryer on there... do you think he should pay half that debt as well?

Are you not planning to divorce? It's just that a separation agreement is usually when one is planning to have a lengthy separation and finances need to be sorted out as parties have reasons not to divorce....

If he is still going to be paying the mortgage, then he will no doubt have a life insurance policy to pay off the mortgage. But are there any other policies in place?

What about pension? Other assets?

You will need to think about how general building maintenance will be done. Things like general upkeep, and how bills will be divided.

Easist way to do it is to make a list of assets and liabilities and then discuss.

thanks ilovelovemydog.. in one breathe he said he would do any odd jobs.. but relisticly speaking he hasn't done any jobs that need doing for posibly ages.. and the next he says that you'll be living here I should pay for them..
I did say that any repairs I do will add value on the house and he said things like a new fence that we need or a new front door are just wear and tear/general maintenance and wouldn't put value on the house.

he did say that if I put a conserventry the house I should get the value of it back when the house is sold...

sorry to be dim again but whats assets and liabilities

Yes we are planing to divorce...

don't think he has a private pension, we did have an endowment that we were going to use for a pension but we cashed it in

I've decided to go and see a solicitor as well ...

Assets are what you have - savings, bank accounts, shares, car, etc

Liabilities are what you owe, such as debts, credit card bills etc

All I meant about maintenance is that there should be an agreement about the upkeep of the house. Such as, if guttering needs replacing, a damp course, new windows etc.

agree with most of what ilovemydoghas said.
If things put on your credit card were general household expenditure then it is fair that he should pay half of that.
with regards to any other assets (ie if he has a pension) this all needs to be disclosed and if he has a pension he will need to provide the CETV (cash equivalent transfer value of it)
It tends to be quite normal proceedure for divorce proceedings to be issued once the two year separation period is up (even if he is still living in the matrimonial home it would be possible to have the 2 year separation period commence if you are living 'separate and apart', ie you are not sleeping together, you are not doing his washing, cleaning, ironing cooking etc - very difficult when you have a child at home)
As ilovemydog says, you really need to include all eventualities in the separation agreement as then when the two year separation period is up, it makes it much easier to then convert the terms of the separation agreement to a Consent Order to be lodged at the Court when the divorce is going through and this will then make everything in full and final settlement. Thats why you need to tie up as many loose ends as possible in the separation agreement.
Technically, you don't have to have your own solicitor (but can't share his) but it is obviously preferable if you can afford it.
Good luck

Of course at the moment it seems straightforward but what happens if/when either of you meet someone new? How would he feel about paying half the mortgage if you've got someone living with you in it, what if he has a new partner and they have a child together and he can no longer afford it etc etc

What seems fair & straightforward now may come back and bit you big time in the future.

My ex and I sorted out our finances and then got a solicitor to rubber stamp them when we divorced however it was much simpler because he bought me out.

I would seek legal advice now so when the divorce time comes it can just be rubber stamped.

just a minor point but in order to be legally binding the Consent Order (on divorce) needs to be lodged at the Court and approved by the Judge. Only then it is 100% legally binding and watertight. A solicitor can't simply rubber stamp to make legally binding. Agree with cargirl though that something that may be all very nice and amicable now MAY change if one of you gets a new partner.

Thanks for all your help.. he went to see his solicitor about the seperation agreement and she agreed with what we had put in it, but also suggested that he pays me £300 a month instead of £400 as at the end of the day with my wages and family credit it means we are taking home the same amount of money...
If this means he will move out quicker then I'm all for it... but I've got to sit down and work out how much it will leave me...
his solicitor is going to draft it all up and then I will get a solicitor to look it over...
he's also agreed to help pay off my barclaycard...

Just wanted to say that kids don't conveniently leave home at 18, or get a job, or go to uni. Sometimes they can still be at school/ college doing A-levels with you still supporting and housing them.

As I said, just something to bear in mind...

Well if you can keep it amicable then all the more power to you. If you can keep solicitors OUT of the equation then I would do - they tend to stir things up and people become entrenched in their positions, after all it's more business for THEM.

Would you rather your money went on a future for yourselves and your kids rather than a tapeworm, sorry solicitor, trousering thousands when you could both have it.

Personally I would suggest you both seriously attend and work at Family Mediation. Look up your local branch of family mediation and seriously do it - because for the relatively small amount of money you spend on that will save you guys thousands and will save you heartache.

How long where you married, because spousal maintenance would not be eligible for a relatively short marriage and if you can back into work, unless the ex was on a really high wage, unless the ex was willing to pay. Have you taken into account that wages etc may vary in future too.

Realistically the house may have to be sold and both of you guys downsize to provide two homes of suitable accommodation for the kids to live with both parents and enjoy a full and meaningful relationship with both parents.

Any agreement in mediation is of course 'without prejudice' i.e not legally binding, but it can be written up into an agreement by solicitors which, if need be, could be referred to later if there was any subsequent court action later on (hopefully not).

Where are the children living?

I completely agree if you can get it sorted between yourselves that is fantastic but your solicitor will look out for your interests and may bring up a few things to consider that you haven't thought through yet.

spousal maintenance - could you explain about this some more...

the kids are going to live with me... but stay with him at weekends... not sure if thats every weekend or some weekends..

we have a very cheap mortgage... just under £400 and would never be able to rent for less that £850 so we're staying put for the moment

obviously as he's not moved out yet I can't say... also he wants to take them away for weekends... My parents have a caravan near bournemouth that he could still use...

he did say his solicitor said that as they are going to stay with him that he could pay me slightly less as they wouldn't be with me, there is probably a name for this..

when he gets his letter from his solicitor I'll take it too my solicitor

spousal maintenance is maintenance paid from one party to the marriage to the other (usually paid by husband to wife). It is normally for a limited period of time, say 2 to 3 years in situations where mum does not work or only works part-time/low income job because she is the main carer of dependant children. Often the maintenance is payable for a set period of time, sometimes to allow the wife/mum to re-train or be in a position to increase her earning capacity. eg if she has been a SAHM for years and needs to undertake training in order to get a better career for herself so she can stand on her own two feet.

Ref contact, most divorced/divorcing couples tend to fall into the routine of every other weekend contact so that you will each get a weekend with the kids then a weekend off (very handy for the future when you might be in a new relationship and can have some 'me' time) obviously this will depend on the ages of the children and where their dad will be living, as if he is a long way away, that may make this arrangement more difficult.

Think his solicitor is talking about the old CSA assessment system whereby if the non-resident parent (usually the dad) had the children for more than a set number of days/nights per annum (think it was 102 but don't quote me on that) then he could get a reduction in the amount of maintenance he was paying under the assessment. Yerblurt is I think very knowledgeable on this so he might be able to help.
Please bear in mind though that the CSA has been taken over by a new governing body in the last few months and at this time it is not clear (to me) what their new criteria for assessment is.
However, if you are going to be able to resolve matters amicably, there is no need for a formal assessment to be carried out and you can just agree it between yourselves which has got to be better than involving other parties.

Yerblurt also has a good point ref family mediation which can sometimes be very useful when things are relatively amicable.
If you are seeing a solicitor, try to make sure it is one who specialises in family law. Good luck