DIVORCE HELP

[anyoneoutthere]

My husband and i were married in South Africa and are seperated. He has been living in South African for the last 20 months. Ive decided i want a divorce and need advice on the cheapest way to do this

Anyone got any tips

The only grounds for immediate divorce are adultery or unreasonable behaviour. So in effect one party gets "blamed", not that that makes any difference to the outcome.

CAB tend to play safe and suggest that you refer to a solicitor because they are not qualified to give legal advice, though they should have pointed out that you could do it yourself. The only issue with an overseas marriage is if it is one which had it occurred in the UK would have been unlawful eg polygamy or if it were with close kin.

So there are only 2 grounds for an immediate divorce?

Yes. The other options are desertion, separation for 2 years (with spousal consent to the divorce), separation for 5 years (without spousal consent to the divorce).

I think most UK divorces are done under adultery or unreasonable behaviour.

like I said before, you need to test the water with your husband and see whether he will consent to a divorce on the 2 years separation (bearing in mind you've almost been separated that long) I would have thought that he would prefer a 'no fault' divorce rather what can become a mud slinging exercise in the particulars of a behaviour petition. Until you raise the subject with him about his preferences, you will not really be able to move forward.

babybarrister, sorry, didn't mean to be THAT critical of the CAB but they are pretty useless and often don't point out that they don't have legal qualifications. I just get annoyed when they tell people things that are clearly wrong and people take it as gospel.

Yes, he will consent. Ive just had a thought. We got married in South Africa then i came home (he is South African, i was on holiday) i came home and he has been refused entry into the UK ever since. So could that not be disertion?

think that would be pushing it on desertion as you need to prove that he has deliberately deserted you. If he couldn't physically get into the UK thats a pretty good excuse for him. I think the best option is to wait a few more months til the 2 years is up and then petition on the 2 years separation with his consent. Once the divorce papers are issued and posted to him by the Court he will have to complete and sign the acknowledgement of service form indicating that he gives his consent and then return it to the Court in the UK. As long as he does this, all will be fine

DH has been told by a lawyer that in South Africa the only way you can be served papers is by hand - so as im here, they're saying we cant do it

anyoneoutthere, you are being a lot of crap advice by people who do not know what they are talking about.
Your DH does NOT have to be served by hand. There is absolutely no reason why the usual process can not be followed which is the Court in England posting the papers to him at his address in SA. He will then (hopefully) complete the idiot proof acknowledgement of service form and post it back to the Court in England. As long as he does this, the divorce can proceed. I've had several cases in the past where the Respondent (party being divorced) is overseas and there is absolutely no problem in posting papers to them. It just becomes a pain if they ignore the papers and if that is the case then it may be necessary to instruct a private investigator/process server in that country to serve them personally and then file an affidavit (statement) of service. Bearing in mind you are hopeful that your DH will agree to a divorce on 2 years separation and consent, presumably he will consent and sign the papers.
The lawyer in SA is a SA lawyer and probably hasn't got a clue how the English legal system works so shouldn't be making unhelpful comments.
Stop talking to idiots who do not know what they are talking about and go and talk to a nice helpful clerk in your local county court who will hopefully reassure you

don't you just love all these people babybarrister that think they know it all and give out crap advice.
It made me chuckle a few months ago when one lady on here gave loads of 'legal' advice to someone then advised that she knew about all these things as she was a SAHM and watched Jeremy Kyle every day! Why did we waste years studying law when instead we could have just sat on the sofa?

Sorry - i meant that if mu husband petitions in south Africa i cannot be served because in SA you have to be served by hand ( and obviously i am here)

does it make any difference that we have never lived as a married couple in this country?

Hi all,
My husband and I split after just under 2 years. I had a son previously and was living in a council flat for over 7 years where I accrued the 'right to buy'. When my partner married me shortly after moving in he also then had the 'right to buy'. Very shortly after this I inhereted a substantial amount that was enough to put down on a house. I used every last penny plus savings to do this as i was pregnant at the time. So ended up with a flat and house. I had another child 15 months later. Now, i am in the house with the 3 children and he is in the flat. Both are adequate for our needs, mine a 3 bed and his 2 bed. The problem comes as i can not afford to sustain a large mortgage without being given half of the equity from the flat this would mean we both have a mortgage we both can afford. He won't do this as he wants more out of it he says. I also have a £5k loan that i have been paying for since he left with high interest. 2k was given to him for deposit,rent furniture etc the rest went on clearing utility bills, his and my credit cards, and car repairs. He wants to go through the courts to force me to sell up and apparently his father has given him a pot of money to do this, as he wants his own mortgage even if it means i lose my home. He's expecting me to live off the proceeds until it's gone! I would use £5k from the flat equity to pay this loan off so in effect i'm not even asking for half. I am terrified of going to court as he seems so sure they are going to wipe the floor with me. I don't know what to do as i can not afford legal representation. HELP!![CONFUSED]