Protecting assets going into a new relationship

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divorce settlement was 68.5% of FMH. Looking at my options should i decide to enter another relationship, I cannot afford to loose all there is for my childrens future.
Also, of course there is the co-habiting agreement which means i would have to pay my ex out should i go into another relationship. I simply cannot afford to do so.
Any suggestions on options more than appreciated.

STay single or have a live-out partner?

Only have a partner live with you if they are able to buy something 50/50 with you?

So how would it work if my 50percent is in cash, does he take out a mortgage and would it be just in his name?
After doing some reading I have found that should we live together he would not be entitled to anything if we later parted. There are no laws (as yet) for co-habiting couples.
How would I protect my initial investment?
I know it is awful to think this way. I have been burned badly and walked away with just a percentage of the house in order to get out of my marriage.
Essentially it is all I have for my childrens future.

The best thing you can do is not allow any new partner to give you some money towards the mortgage/home improvement or even to make one mortgage payment. The less money he spends on the house the better for you. He can pay utility bills and food though.

i like the sound of that.
I am lucky enough that I could pretty much afford to buy outright if I moved to a cheaper area. To go for a little bigger or better would mean a mortgage. However if the property is purchased by me and in my name only, I should be safe.
Thanks for that, sad way to think about things i know. Life has just taught me to be realistic and when all is said and done, love and money are like water and oil.

Sorry that you have had a hard time financially getting out of previous relationship. But is it inevitable that any long-term future relationship will mean cohabitation? If you are financially independent, both have your own children and are living separately I kind of think you get the best of both worlds: a nice family life, autonomy most of the time and adult company when you want it without jeopardising your assets or having to get involved in step-family politics. I know a couple of women in this position and it seems an infinitely preferable arrangement.

I have 2 chidren, he has none.
Yes, you're right there are benefits to living apart and we have done so now for a year and half.
Part of me is beginning to want more, which part though I'm not sure lol.
I have alot of thinking to do...

Obviously you need to talk carefully to a solicitor if you do anythng official, like buy a house, share any bills, co-habit etc, but as i understand it, if you are not married and buy a house as 'tennants in common' rather than 'joint tennants' then you can own a proportion of the house which exactly matches your input. DP and I have bought our house as tennants in common and we have a deed of covenant that says what share we each own - it mentions the exact capital input, the percentage this represents (so that gain or losses in value are also pro rata) and that we equally own the mortgaged part.

In your position in would not marry someone who was bringing less equity to a house than you - as he could then claim half, and as you saym it is all you have.

mercenary - or pragmatic, that's me! I think it's very very important for women with children to protect their assets in any way possible.

Blu
Thank you ever so much for that advice!
The problem we have is that I am low income (which is why I aware how important it is to protect what I do have) and he is a high earner so paying a mortgage is not an issue it's just really protecting my initial investment.
It is VERY important. There are no guarantees in life and I hope that when/if the subject comes up he will understand.
I heard about this tennants in common thing recently when my father passed away and we had concerns over probate etc and found that when you are 'joint' tenants the property automatically goes to the other, no probate. Which means I would be free to will my portion to my childrens trust.
I am skipping countries with these laws mind and would have to check it all out properly of course however it is good to know that there is a way around all this.
Sets my mind at ease.

Speak to a solicitor. I have done the same as Blu with regards to buying a house and protecting my capital etc. I would also be very hesitant to marry for the same reasons. However, I also had a child from a previous reltionship and we have one together. This can cause complications on death re any estate.

thanks again for the encouragement. I am far too gunshy to think about the possibility of another child. Waaaaaaay too much brain overload lol!
Yes, I too am not keen on the idea of marriage.

Just the thought that it may just be possible to move on into a new loving relationship and feel safe financially also has made my day!
I never thought I would consider another relationship at all and now, wow, I see the reality...
THANK YOU GUYS!

I'm a similar position - own my own house after divorce. Dp lives with me and contributes to household bills/food etc, but the house belongs to me and is my responsibility. Similarly the assets/debts he has are his responsibility.

I have just done my will as well which makes the future division of assets clear too. I'd recommend you do one if you haven't yet (morbid I know but important for your dc's).

ah, I have no problem with wills. Honestly I don't know why anyone would think it was morbid?
Your doing what you feel is the right thing while you are able to. The important thing is to remember to update them!!
I have heard of long term partners (20 years+) who have been left homeless and ignored by families (especially when it's a second relationship after divorce) because these things are ignored or just not kept up to date.