oh shhhhitttt we have been so stupid and are in usch a mess.....

[blushingm]

have just had a close look at our finances and realise we have been spending waaaaaaaaay beyond our means. Our income isn't covering the bills let alone our debts

DH had his hours at work cut and we have been £500 per month at least down for the last 3 months. Our credit cards are maxxed out.

I've called the mortgage co and they reduced our mortgage to interest only. I've reduced our mobiles down to the minimum line rental and my dad said he'd try and help us as much as possible

We owe £22k. My dad said he could put some of our credit cards transferred to his at 0% (£6.5k) until september and possibly a bit much - he's just started renting our his late dads house.

What I think I'm asking is it possible to actually live debt free and how long do yoou think it will take to get that way???

I'm not sure how it worked - as it was in exH's name (and obviousy as he's now an ex I can't turn round and ask him)

But I know when we were in the financial poo 3yrs ago and struggling with our credit card payments we managed to agree a lower payment figure (same amount each month) for a certain period of time.

I know that the payments ot start off with were less than half the "minimum" payments that we should been paying, and I know interest got added, but yet somehow we still reduced the debt

I know that's terribly vague and not very helpful but it is also worth talking to you CC providers to try and come up with something, if only for a short while to get the amount reducded without you falling further into debt.

I notice TV Licence isn't on the list - do you pay quarterly - or in full each time it's renewed?

That gas and leccy sounds a lot - £120 for a month?

Can you shop around for cheaper tariff/ use less?

Clary - it's less than I pay (and I'm still on the frozen rates from ages ago)- mine works out at about £137 a month (but I pay quarterly)

if you turn heating down and wear jumpers around house you will save on heating. and if you have option only put hot water on to heat when you need it.

op regarding heating/electril?? how big is your house to have these bills? they're high for a 2 bedroom flat. but low if it's a 5 bedroom/ bathroom detached

very true elmo - I'm in a draft Victorian end of terrace, today I've had the heating on high, 2 jumpers, a long sleeved top, a t-shirt top and my thick winter jacket on - and still felt cold

What's your childcare?

go for those free haircuts by trainee stylists

hmmm. do you have proper heavy lined cutains?? if not you should get some. even borrow some if you have to. who cares what they look like aslong as you pay your bills or you will end up without a home to worry about what it looks like.

try freecycle.

and make sure all your radiators are free of obstruction. if you have a sofa infront of your living one. move sofa forward a foot or so. or rearrange living room furniture.

if you have seperate thermostats upstair and downstairs then leave upstairs off thru the day.

and at night time get your timer set to turn off heating altogether. as long as your kids aren't babies you will be fine. they will soon get used to it. make sure they have extra blankets and long sleeve pj's and trousers and socks on.

time it to come on 1 hr before you wake if you cant bear the cold.

i find we all sleep better if the heating off too.

elmo - I have a tricky situation with the heating at night with the DS's. DS1 has a history of chest things, not asthmatic, but susceptible to chest tightening - his bedroom is FREEZING and at night he coughs terribly if it's cold. DS2/3's room isn't quite so cold, but DS3 is the same as DS1 - coughs a lot if it's too cold DS3 on the other hand coughs if the heating is on too long. I have to leave it on low - it's all controlled from the boilet - it's an ancient thing that I think only just passes the standards required these days for such things ).

You can have all of the radiators hot, warm or cold, you can't have them variable temps (has driven me mad since I moved here 4yrs ago)

Most of the radiators are unobstructed, unfortunately lounge one there's absolutely no-where to put the sofa apart from there, it is move forward slightly, but can't do it too much because of space.

Oddly the drafts don't come from the windows, we've never quite worked out where they come from - but it's not the windows (all double glazed)

'tis a pain, but hey at least I suppose that's one thing I don't need to worry about when I move (bitter sweet)

im in a used to be 2 bedrooms semi with a loft conversion - i've just been on moneysavingexpert and he says to wait abit to switch suppliers as they are due to reduce their prices v soon - if switch now would be on higher tarrif when the prices drop

last year tv lic was one off as had the money there - this year from feb dd - about £11.50 p/m?

I don't use 3 of our radiators - only kids rooms our room and hall are used but i do do a huge amount of washing - dh is a mechanic and can't resist rolling around on the garage floor (it's the only thing i can think he does to get as dirty as he does) and ds needs clean uniform everyday as he brings home fields full of mud inc his coat which gets washed and dried over the kitchen door over night

Have you told the TC people about DH's lower income - they may be able to pay more towards your childcare costs.

yes i've told them - childcare by the way is cm for 2 days all day for dd and before and afterschool for ds

Have you thought about putting your debt on to a debt management plan? You can do it through consumer credit counselling service for free; they are a charity. The credit card companies will then agree to freeze your interest and massively reduce your monthly payments. It stays on your credit record for 6 years, but that only matters if you want more credit (which you don't if your plan is to be debt free).

Make sure it is CCCS though, as they are a charity. Other places are actually loan sharks offering fake debt plans that cost a fortune.

Wow! Such sage advice! You've got some great minds working here.

My Dh and I are trying very hard to practice voluntary simplicity. We were successful for awhile and relapsed over the holidays. So, with the new year, we are recommitting.

Nappyaddict had some awesome ideas which I practice also. In addition to her ideas, may I add or reinforce:

1. Cooking in bulk and freezing these as "fast food" when too tired to cook. (My friends who are more successful bake frequently. Both work - but they bake their own bread, sweets, etc every week. Saves loads of money!)
2. Homemade coffee /tea only. No pick me up lattes.
3. No more take away or eating out. Same - sadly for external entertainment.
4. Buy from charity shoppes. (There are some truly lovely charity shoppes. I used to frequent one affiliated with breast cancer? in Islington.)
5. Eat seasonally. Whatever is pound a bowl is on the table that week.
6. Less meat. And buy what is on special.
7. Get rid of credit cards, overdrafts. If you don't have it. Don't spend it. (Ditto Lou031)
8. Put any non-essential cash - mortgage, utilities, food - towards the debt. (What most folks have been saying.)
9. Negotiate. Back up cancellation customer service calls with an email. And if the manager can't let you out of your contract, ask for the next manager and move up until you either 1. have to write the company or 2. get your way. (Elomandela makes a good point. Can't get water from a stone. )

We've lived debt-free for some time now. It was in fact a hinderance to us getting a mortgage as we were seen as "credit risks" because we choose to be frugal. We took a "high risk loan" to get our house. Since the financial turmoil, our loan isn't profitable to them, they are begging us to refinance. (Which we are doing and making them eat interest points and closing fees because they can't afford not to give us our way.) So, we are benefiting from their stupidity.

You can do it! Here are some sites which discuss the intellectual/emotional/political aspect:
www.choosingvoluntarysimplicity.com/downshifting-to-a-simpler-life/ and www.stresslesscountry.com/money-saving-tips/index.html A search on frugal living or voluntary simplicity would yeild more resources and support.

Sorry to be so long. I'm just feeling really satisfied at attempting the goal. And I believe a debt free life is wonderful. I wish it on anyone...okay...sorry...shutting up now.

do the cccs peole talk to your creditors for you?

nnnnoo no no no no no please don't shut up your points and ideas and tips are all gratefully received and the links clicked on

A magazine I read has something they call "The 10 Wealth For Life Principles." We've been working towards this goal for a year now. I'll type them up here - with my comments is parenthesis.

1. I will live within my means. (We've modified that to be below our means.)
2. I will maximize my income potential through education and training. (When it suits our budget, DH goes t conferences in his field. I attend retreats and workshops in my field. Only...if we have the money. But, I used to teach at a continuing ed college in London and sometimes employeers would fit the bill for my students.)
3. I will effectively manage my budget, credit, debt and tax obligations.
4. I will save at least 10% of my income. (After out of debt to be sure. We are working toward saving 20% by year end.)
5. I will use homeownership as a foundation for building wealth. (Pretty U.S. specific condsidering in London it 6 of 1 and 1/2 another these days.)
6. I will devise an investment plan for my retirement needs and children's education. (Again, once debt free.)
7. I will ensure that my entire family adheres to sensible money management principles. (Meaning you and DH have to discuss the purchase of a toaster before anyone replaces or buys anything new.)
8. I will support the creation of minority-owned businesses. (Again a U.S specific thing. However, it means supporting small businesses. The guys in the market will haggle with you or see you through a rough time. Asda/Lidl's and Tesco won't.)
9. I will guarentee my wealth is passed on to future generations through proper insurance and estate planning. (Again - once you are debt free.)

10. I will strengthen my community through philanthropy. (Another debt-free goal.)

But simply working a few of these steps has gotten us focused on how to plan versus how to spend. My husband gets bonuses. But, now we plan how to invest versus spend these. Even though my DH's income has risen (knock wood) we have continued to scale back and back to what we were living on when he made 1/2 as much. If things keep going like they are until at least the end of the year, he could be out of work completely and we'd be able to live for a year simply on what we've put by. That's alot of stress kissed goodbye.

To lift you up, it took us about 5 years to get to this place. I had to keep my eyes on the goal the whole time. Every time I wanted, I had to check myself whether I was actually needing. Sometimes, I used to let the kitchen supplies run so far out that I was forced to challenge myself to "make a meal of nothing." Funnily enough, the meals my DS and DH love the most are the things I made from nothing. These have become regular recipes. If you pull everyone together, it can be a grand adventure.

Always found it easier to earn more than cutting back. Try seeing things like the hours of 5am to 7am at weekends even as working time. consider bar and night work, babysitting for friends, cleaning jobs etc etc Myuch much easier than just sinking more and more into debt.

wow poet mum - you are def an inspiration

Xenia i have found a cleaning job to apply for in the closest big town cleaning council offices - they aren't available to apply for til after the new year

am also going to check supermarkets etc for evening/weekend shelf stacking or something/cleaning. i still have to do my 2 days at office job (good benefits and free shares so seems silly to leave) so evenings would be easier - anyone know anything about mystery shopping?

how about waitressing in the evenings/weekends? You would get tips then too.

Get rid of pension, child savings, dentist, possibly life insurance too?

Do you both need mobiles? Can you cancel and switch to that 02 simplicity one if not?

I would try takeaways for a evening job. They aren't struggling as much as restaurants yet.

You've had loads of fab advice.

All ways worth trying to find some more, if you goggle women's institute money saving advice you'll find loads of article that may help.

You mentioned that your dad offered to put your CC debt on a 0% offer in his name, I don't know any cmpanies that would be preapred to do that tbh.

Oh and another vote for MSE.

good luck

he said he'd do a balance transfer - apparently there isn't anything that says can't tranfer it.

I've also managed to reduce bt to £30 pm for a bit as was in credit!!!

I've cancelled income protection etc and will contact pension tomorrow

i really really appreciate all this advice th's fab

Maybe leaflet your local area offering to take in ironing? Round here we pay 60p a shirt which must work out at around £9 an hour, and it can easily fit around your other commitments.