stitch needs advice on lots of things please.

[stitch]

many of you know me, and my situation. i need some advice, but wont be able to get to a solicitor till monday, if i am lucky.
quick summary, dh been arrested, and out on bail, not allowed near me, or the house for the next two weeks minimum

1, i have never had access to money . grocery shopping been done online using his credit card. can i continue to use that?
2 if he cancels the credit card, why does that not count as harrassment? otherwise i cant feed the kids. so why isnt that harrassment
3 i am living in the marital home, but he is the earner. if he stops paying the mortgage, then am i legally bound to pay it? i dont earn much at my six hour a week job.
4 ds's tuition fees. what happens if he doesnt pay up. they are due asap.
5 he is probably making sure he is hiding any and all assets he has. is there any way of stoppin gthat?
6 suggestions on what to use for petrol please.

Stitch - I can't advise on the rest, but re tuition fees, universities are generally very good about financial problems - particularly very genuine ones like this. There will be some sort of student support office that your son can contact - probably on the 5th - and I'd be very surprised if they didn't put them on hold until your financial situation was sorted. Your DS will probably be eligible for some sort of hardship loan/grant too.

You're so brave, and even though I don't know you, I'm just so proud of anyone who can take steps like this and see it all through!

Having been in a similar situation myself once, I would strongly recommend registering with a babysitting agency to get some emergency cash in the meantime - you can get £30 a night cash for sitting on someone else's sofa if you can persuade a friend to sit on yours to allow you to work, or leave your kids with a friend. This £30 will feed you for several days. I would also buy all the clothes and food I could over the next week to give a grace period of several months.

Stitch, sorry, haven't followed the thread, but I think that I know which school your ds is at [in case I'm freaking anyone else I have met Stitch in RL before]. Phone the school and explain what is happening and ask to apply for a bursary. The bursary will be based on your sole income. In any event the school will want to know from a pastoral perspective.

How are you today stitch? Have you been able to make any progress with the suggestions on here?

Stitch, so sorry you are going through this

Everyone above has covered all the important advice but wanted to say I think from memory you live close to me so If you need any rl help please let me know xx

thank youall for all your lovely thoughts and advice, and support and help.l
i have been getting things sorted. done the grocery shop, and applied for thebenefits. i have ameeting on friday for that.
cant get an appointment with a solicitor till next week yet. but might have better luck tomorrow on the phone.
have been going through the paperwork at home, and gettingit together. spoke to barclays about freezing account, but they want me togo it. nothing else done on the financial side,but getting there.
ladymuck you are right about the school. obviously i was going to tell the schools from a pastoral pov. the next terms fees are due onmonday before he starts. the bill is at home. will call them and find out, what if any help they are willing to consider.
my internet connection at home has died, which obviously isnt very good right now. so i wont be back much, but thank you all for you rsupport and advice. please keep it coming.
fuzzy, i havent sorted thejewllry out yet, but i love the idea of getting it off the property. i will aske if any friends are willing to keep it in a shoe box somewehre.

Glad you have posted stitch. Keep going girl!

With regards freezing joint account, Barclays are completely useless, be prepared to repeat the request over and over. It may be best to send out a letter to Barclays headoffice and send it recorded, so it gets done.
However if you freeze account do remember that nothing will be able to come out of your account, so have all essential direct debits pertaining to keeping your life ticking over set up in a different bank account before you freeze the barclays account.

thats a very very important ;point fuzzy . thank you fr o pointing it out to me.
#so much to think about.

i wrote a long message, thnaking everyone individually, and this machine wont let me post it.
it hasnt let me send any email messages either.

Stitch, I haven't been following recent events - but clearly something rather unpleasant's happened. I just wanted to say how proud I was of you - which may sound patronising and I hope it doesn't because it's not meant to. I can't be much practical help, but do listen to Coldy - she knows what she's talking about. And chin up - you've done the right thing. 2009 will be the hardest and best year you've had recently, I predict xx