Have just spent £150 at the supermarket (haven't done a proper shop since sept) and feel so low

[Pawslikepaddington]

I feel like I can't afford to even feed us any more. I haven't shopped except for essentials, i.e. bread, milk, fruit etc since sept as I couldn't afford it, so after yet another night of dry pasta and cheese or value soup in a can I went and did a shop, which I really couldn't afford. I have an electricity bill I can't pay (£250 as we have moved house and have been seriously underpaying, despite paying £50 a month ), am going to absolutely scrimp to make the rent until Feb, and therefore buying food is out of the window-I literally have enough money for rent and heat, milk, bread and butter until Jan 20th (when my student loan comes in). I feel like I am back in Victorian England, and hate feeling sick all the time worrying about whether we will be able to afford anything next week. I know that at least I wasn't in the Mumbai disaster, and at least I have my health, but I am getting to the point where I can't continue to live in worry all the time-I would rather just give up on it all.

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Are you at university Paws? If so, I would advise contacting the Access to Learning fund who are there to make life a little bit easier for people like you (and me!)

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used to be called the hardship fund dilemma

Thank you all-I ended up falling asleep on the sofa shortly after typing that! I still feel down today, but not as down as yesterday . I just hate the constant knot in my stomach thinking that there is some bill I have missed and that I will end up with a default because of it or something-I get so scared! There is a hardship fund, so am going to apply to them, but don't qualify for hb, as I have a house with a mortgage on it where we used to live, and where I plan to go back to when finished, so out of the £2k a term I get in student finances, £1,800 is rent alone. I hate feeling this alone, thank you all for helping me with this (and thank goodness I don't have to pay council tax too!)

paws don't you eat in college?
You're at Cambridge right? Very subsidised food there from memory.
Also as you are a mature student most colleges have some accom that is for parents...does your college not?
Most colleges have a tutor who will specifically help you with all the grants you need to apply for.

We do eat in, but it's £8 a meal if dd eats too !! Breakfast is £7 for both of us, but it can end up seriously expensive if you don't watch how often you eat there-it is way cheaper than eating out for each meal, but much more than if you were to eat weetabix/noodles IYSWIM! . We have breakfast there if we have no milk in (twice a week or for a treat, or if it is wednesday (cooked breakfast day!). We also have dinner on a tues, I eat lunch there every day (as i don't think £3.50 for a meal, yoghurt and diet coke is that bad in the grand scheme of things and it gets me socialising, and dd has a school dinner, so I can get away with making a light dinner), and we have sat brunch (again cooked breakfast, mmmm!) and sunday lunch (which is phenominal value, as for £3.50 we can eat soup, a full lunch and cake, so I only have to buy one meal!!). I charged my card up with £350 at the start of term and then I know we will always have food no matter what, although I only have £25 left (they also sell "divine" choc bars and fruit corners, god I am a weak woman)!! We are in college accomm, which is wonderful (the old house was £950 pcm, this is £610 but we live here 12 months a year), and it means I am not kicked out if I pay a bit late because my loan is late, as obviously college is aware. I am going to have to stay and do a Phd and eventually teach as I will not survive in the real world now!!

Christ which college are you at?

Oh I see £7 total for the two of you?

Speak to your personal tutor and she can put you in touch with the person in your college who deals with hardship.

I saw someone from the university itself in the end and was given an extra £2500 per year.

Whatever happened to the supervisor who said that you shouldn't be there?

Oh god I sound so scathing of it all, I am so sorry! It is not college I am scathing at at all-they are god in my eyes! If we didn't have the facility to eat in college a) Dd would have rickets, and b) we would have starved , and they are so wonderful-letting me have this house, and even if I had no money they would not let us go hungry-it is me I am angry at-whenever dd has a growth spurt, or the season changes so she needs new light/heavy clothes (no school uniform so all her clothes have to cater for her being outside at break/lunchtime), new coat, weather-sensible shoes etc I seem to be broke for the next three months, and I feel like I am the world's worst money manager-we just bumble from one money disaster to another. I know people never talk about money in rl, but how can everyone seem calm on the surface if they are having money troubles? It seems like everyone else is so much better at it than me, and that I shouldn't be allowed to be a mum as I can barely look after us.

How old is your DD, Paws? My DD is 4 and we have lots of grown out of but nearly new clothes...

Oh he got a SERIOUS telling off-someone (braver than me!) took it as high as it could go and I got a personal apology! Will definitely talk to my supervisor on Monday-I'm a bit worried that we break up for xmas next week (I can catch up on some work done at last, hurrah!!), so if I need something desperately college will close down, but the admin staff stay until the bitter end I think (and I have been invited to a friend's for xmas so I don't have to worry about food/lighting etc costs for a few days !) I feel better now, how do you all do it-you are the voice of reason for all us sillies that freak out easily!

It's strange paws. I didn't eat in college much because £7 for breakfast was well beyond my means so I only went there for formal hells i couldn't escape.
It's all about the budgeting I'm afraid same as everyone else no matter what their means
Are you first year law now? How are you coping?

£7 for breakfast is unbelievable .

Dd is nearly 5, but has a serious tum so I have to go up a size and roll up sleeves. She has these really skinny arms and legs, no bottom at all and a tummy that hides her toes from her! Thank you so much though Anna (and let me know if you need any knitted dresses next winter-she looks after them as she knows that she won't be getting any more! (P.S., not hand-knitted, mothercare and gap knitted-I ended up having to spend a fortune as I couldn't find pretty warm dresses for love nor money!)

Oh well. I would have been very happy to pass on some nice clothes...

It's £7 for both of us, and we get a croissant each (althout dd doesn't like them so I befriend various good looking sporty boys by offering them our spare ). I know, I am such a bad budgeter-I have periods where I am really good, but this term dd has grown, and needed new wellies, shoes, pumps etc, we have moved house so had all the removal costs, and the house was in a terrible state so I have spent a fortune on paint to brighten it up, thermals for both of us and feather duvets to keep us warm, and fabric and thermal lining for curtains as the windows let in a lot of cold air so the house gets very cold during the night. Therefore the tiny leeway we have has been used up and then some, so has tipped us in to the negative. I won't have to buy paint, or curtains, or good duvets, or pay for removal costs again while I am here, but because it was all in the same term it has made life seem impossible.

The course is amazing though-the best thing I ever did-if only I could draw down on some future earnings life would be perfect

Paws, I just saw this thread and like Anna I really want to help out if I can.

My dd is 6 and we have lots of clothes she has grown out of. I would be more than happy to help out and send you a package. Please email me on [email protected] if I can help at all.

[smle]

Sorry, I meant

Get over to moneysavingexpert.com and look for ideas there. I know the college meals don't seem like that much compared to eating at other places but I'm sure you could eat cheaper breakfasts. There's also a great tool on that site called the demotivator where you put in how much something is that you have once a week or so and it adds it up and tells you how much a year you're spending on it.

paws, I wish I could help you out but I have 2 boys and I guess your dd wouldn't appreciate army patterend clothes

hope you accept some help from the kind posters here, I would help you out if I was nearer, but I'm in Scotland and we're struggling too

good luck x

I can't believe how kind you all are-I keep thinking this must be my fault, as last year wasn't this hard and we were on income support, but then I remember that that means my rent was paid . You are all so kind. I will email you email offering ladies in a min-am just going to make a cup of coffee as I have assignments coming out of my ears tonight!

Paws...I echo what the other poster said about Moneysavingexpert.com.

Also are sure you are receiving all the benefits you are entitled to. Child Tax credits for your DD and maybe you can apply for housing benefit on the basis of a low income.