Please can anyone advise about fathers when they haven't met their child?

[used2bthin]

This is for a friends brother, he split with his girlfriend a few months into the pregnancy and it was a very messy break up from what I can gather. The baby was due last week and as far as he knows, his ex is still living in the same place but she is not answering phone calls or e mails from him. His mother tried e mailing her and she replied saying she didn't want contact at this time but she doesn't reply to him.

So does he have any chance of getting contact with his child? Or even finding out when the child is born? His family are very worried about it all and especially about the mother as she has no support from family.

Did the father or family offer support during the pg? If they didn't, it's not really surprising if she's not responded so far but there might be an innocent explanation for not being in touch. She may be in hospital or she may have moved away. Perhaps his Mum is the best one to make contact as she has had replies from her emails.

Yes this has all been going on in the last few months while she was still pregnant. She is possibly still pregnant in fact. His mum offered support and said she would be more than happy to hep out and be involved now and when the baby arrived but the reply was that she didn't want any contact for now which I think they hoped meant that once the baby arrived she would feel differently. I agree though it is fairly understandable during the pregnancy and tbh I am not sure how the break up came about so I imagine she could be feeling very upset. Just wondering whether, if she has moved or decided she doesn't want them to have contact with the baby, whether he will be able to do anything about that since his name won't be on the birth certificate? They are worried I think, in case she is in hospital or having a bad time in other ways hence not responding but this has gone on a few months so hopefully not due to her being in hospital but still possible that something has happened. The phone rings out nut no answer.

bump

Sadly, if she doesn't want to reply to enquiries or let him/his family when baby born, there is not really that much he can do about it at this stage except to perhaps write to her (recorded delivery) saying he wants to be a part of his childs life and wants to be on the birth certificate. At least this way he can make it formal and prove that she got the letter. Chances are, if he makes enquiries at the hospital they will refuse to give out any information regarding his ex as he is not next of kin. He will however presumably find out somehow when the baby is born and should again write (perhaps via solicitors if he can afford it) requesting that he be named on the birth certificate which will then give him parental responsibility.
If however he gets no-where, then sadly his only option is an application through the County Court for a parental responsibility and contact order. This really is the last resort so he should try a letter via a solicitor first before taking this action.

Thank you, that is really helpful, I have passed on the advice and they are going to do the recorded delivery letter straight away. Of course there is always the possibility that she has moved but cross that bridge when they come to it!

Since having my little boy I have become a regular of the Jeremy Kyle show . Anyway, he always says to Dads that if for what ever reason they do not have current contact with their child they should always open a bank account and pay money into that even if the mother doesn't want it or you don't know where they are.

If anything does come to lawyers, court or the child gets in touch when he/she is older then you can always say I wanted to know and wanted to look after you. Here is a bank account with money that I have paid into every month.

that is a very good idea I will suggest that too. Good old jeramy kyle! He is sexy too!

If she owned her property and sold it then the information will appear on such websites as www.ourproperty.co.uk but do take a while to appear.

You register but it is free.

I can't offer any more advice than that, sorry.

Thanks fizzylemonade, as far as we know she lived with her sister in a converted garage that wasn't very warm so she may well have moved on but actually the sister may still be there I will ask if they know.