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Original poster

Parental responsibility

46 replies

Aniles · 01/03/2005 19:05

I'm really a bit stressed and need some advice.

When my dd was born I was married and my husband was named as dd's father on her birth certificate. This was obviously a mistake since he is not her natural father, but the decision was made many years ago when I was just an impressionable niave 18 year old! (well that's my excuse anyway, and I'm sticking to it ).

I have since divorced said husband and have come across a problem regarding parental responsibility. Since I was married to the man who is named on dd's birth certificate a certain government department are insisting that he has parental responsibility even though he is not her biological father! Surely this can't be correct? How can someone who is not a biological parent have parental responsibility? Me and my dd have not had contact with ex h for 8 years and he has not applied nor been granted parental responsibility.

I know it is a long shot but is there anyone here who has experience of this situation?

Is there a way of getting free legal advice from anywhere? I work full time so don't think I would be eligible for legal aid and really want to avoid having to see a solicitor if I can help it.

OP posts:

Freckle · 01/03/2005 19:54

I suppose it depends on what you told the solicitor. If you merely mentioned that ex-h was not her natural father without discussing the question of pr, then the solicitor might have assumed that the natural father had pr. However, I must say that any solicitor worth his/her salt should ask searching questions and make sure they are giving correct advice.

morningpaper · 01/03/2005 19:55

From childrenslegalcentre.com:

"Can I change my child's surname?
Q. Can I change my child's surname?
A. Only if all parental responsibility holders consent to the change of name. If the parental responsibility holders do not agree, the parent seeking to change the name needs to obtain a court order permitting the change, a specific issue order [Children Act 1989, s. 13(1)(a)].

Where only the mother has parental responsibility, she still needs the consent of the other parent or the court."

Your situation sounds rather complicated - I think you'd probably need to see a family solicity to clarify everything.

Freckle · 01/03/2005 19:56

Caligula, I don't think it is a jobsworth. The official is following the law. At the end of the day, he doesn't know Aniles and she could be attempting to take her dd abroad without the father's knowledge/consent. The law states that, for a change of name deed to be valid, the consent of both parties with pr is required. There are cogent reasons for that.

morningpaper · 01/03/2005 19:56

I don't think your MP will help. You need to see a solicitor. The law around parental responsibility is rather complicated (and also chagned significantly a couple of years ago, so would have been different at the time your daughter was born).

Freckle · 01/03/2005 19:58

If you have ex-h's solicitor's details, could you not write to him asking him to contact ex-h on your behalf and see if ex-h will consent to the change of name?

morningpaper · 01/03/2005 20:02

V. good suggestion.

Caligula · 01/03/2005 20:26

Possibly, but I got a British passport for my DD without her father's involvement, even though I'm not a British citizen. When I explained the situation - that xp was not around and I didn't know how to get hold of him, the woman I spoke to just said she'd put it through! (And she did)

TBH, I was very surprised - I really thought I was going to have to jump through all sorts of hoops to get her the same nationality passport as her DB. Maybe I just got someone who was stamp-happy that day.

Freckle · 01/03/2005 20:27

Or maybe your ex-p didn't have pr.

MiriamR · 01/03/2005 20:30

Aniles - Freckle's advice is spot-on. I've experience of PR through previous work and its as she describes.

Original poster

Aniles · 01/03/2005 21:16

Thank you for your advice everyone.

I've written a letter to the solicitor who dealt with the Change of Name Deed, who will hopefully be able to clarify the situation

OP posts:

Original poster

Aniles · 09/03/2005 20:29

Well, I've received a reply from the solicitors confirming that my ex does in fact have parental responsibility of my dd. Now, at the time that I changed my dd's surname the solititor was fully informed of all the facts regarding the situation with my ex husband and that he is named as dd's father on her birth certificate (I have an old solicitors letter that states this information) and at no point was it stated that he has parental responsibility nor that his permission was needed in order to change dd's surname. This means that for more than six years I've relied on this so-called legal document (dd has not been known by her birth surname for more than 6 years) which now turns out not be legally valid!!

I can't quite believe how this has happened. I obviously had to pay for the change of name!! I'm assuming that I'm in a position to put in a complaint. But who to? How?

Can anyone advise, please?

OP posts:

Freckle · 09/03/2005 21:32

Have the solicitors not given any explanation for their omission in pointing out that you needed ex-h's permission to change dd's name?

This is a clear case of negligence. I would suggest that you write to the senior partner of the firm (usually the first named partner on their letterhead) copying the letter to the Consumer Complaints Service at the Law Society. You can also telephone on 0845 608 6565.

Original poster

Aniles · 09/03/2005 22:44

No, the letter makes no reference to the fact that a big mistake has been made. It simply states that yes, ex-h does have parental responsibility, that I do need his consent to the change of name deed, and that if I am still in touch with him I should ascertain whether he would be willing to sign a change of name deed.
The letter states it is from the person who is now head of the family dept at the solicitors which took over the previous firm. I assume this means that the solicitor that dealt with the change of name deed no longer works there. Not sure if that makes a difference or not?

OP posts:

Freckle · 09/03/2005 23:17

No, the responsibility is that of the firm, not the individual dealing with the matter.

Original poster

Aniles · 09/03/2005 23:47

Thank you Freckle, I'll phone the Consumer Complaints Service on that number asap

OP posts:

Original poster

Aniles · 22/03/2005 16:49

I phoned the Consumer Complaints Service at the Law Society who said to write a letter to them with all the datails so that they can find my file because the firm that dealt with the change of name has been taken over by another firm. I've had so much to think about lately that I haven't gotten round to sending the letter, but I have managed to contact ex-h who has signed a letter to the passport office giving his consent to the change of dd's surname. Now that has been done, and I have received a passport in my daughter's current name is it worth making the complaint, or would it be best just to leave it now? When I found out that I had been given a document that was not leagally valid I was really upset and cross and wanted the mistake acknowledged but now I've got more stressful things to deal with (see my post called 'restaining order' for more details) I've hardly given it a second thought.

Whaddya think??

OP posts:

Original poster

Aniles · 22/03/2005 19:18

Bump

OP posts:

Original poster

Aniles · 23/03/2005 18:48

Anyone? Freckle?

OP posts:

Freckle · 23/03/2005 19:01

It's really up to you. I've seen your thread about a restraining order and can understand why you might feel unable to pursue a complaint. But, when you think about it, if the original solicitor's advice had been correct, you wouldn't be having this problem with your ex now, would you?

At the end of the day, professionals should be held accountable for mistakes. This particular mistake has led you to make contact again with a violent and unpredictable man. Not a simple mistake without consequences.

Original poster

Aniles · 23/03/2005 20:55

Thank you for your reply Freckle. I think I will compain but I'll wait til my head is bit clearer. I've got so much work I should be doing over the Easter break and I haven't even looked at it yet so I'm getting stressed about that as well as the other stuff. Being on here obviously doesn't help me get things done, but I can hardly concentrate on anything.

OP posts:

Freckle · 23/03/2005 21:05

You're obviously having a tough time and I feel for you. If you choose to make a complaint, then go for it, but, at the moment, you clearly have other things to deal with. Just keep notes of everything that is happening as this will help with any action you need to take against ex-h, and also serve as evidence of the effect that the solicitor's negligence has had on your life.

Do what you need to do now and leave the rest until you have the time/energy/motivation to deal with it.

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