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Original poster

Support thread for those really suffering from financial nightmare

22 replies

helplesshomeless · 17/09/2008 17:38

I have changed my name as I don't want anyone who knows me in rl to know about my situation yet. Couldn't bear it actually.

DP's company is going down the tubes cos of the credit crunch (hate that phrase - sounds like a breakfast cereal). He is a director so won't get anything. We are at real risk of losing our home in the next few weeks. Quite probable actually. Most we can hope for is to avoid going bankrupt.

I am terrified. Keep bursting into tears, not sleeping, losing weight, can't focus on work (which is a pain as we may well be living on my part time teaching salary).

It is all so desperate and I am so sad for dp and dd as well.

I HOPE that there is noone else in the same situation as we are but if there is and you need someone to moan to who is going through the same thing, please pop in to say hello. I could do with the company!

OP posts:

Gobbledigook · 17/09/2008 17:54

Oh hh - so sorry you are going through this awful time

palaver · 17/09/2008 17:54

not in the same boat, but for you

singingtree · 17/09/2008 17:58

Oh you poor thing. I'm really sorry to hear this. I wish I had something constructive to say, but I don't suppose you need trite reassurances right now. How old is your daughter? Will she be very aware of a change of circumstances (IF it comes to that, it may not)

Twiglett · 17/09/2008 17:58

oh god I'm so sorry ... do you family you can move in with temporarily?

Megglevache · 17/09/2008 18:00

That's awful. What area does your dh work in?

Do you work?

Original poster

helplesshomeless · 17/09/2008 18:02

Thanks all. He is in the service industry - don't want to say too much on that though as the staff don't know yet. We have family but not local. Feels like a bad dream.

OP posts:

singingtree · 17/09/2008 18:05

it must do

FioFio · 17/09/2008 18:06

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bobsyouruncle · 17/09/2008 18:08

So sorry for you, dh lost his job suddenly a few months ago but luckily managed to get something else quickly. Not on same level as what you're going through though I know. Could you go full time at work until he gets another job?

Lilyloo · 17/09/2008 18:10

helpless not quite as bad but my dp buisness folded earlier this year. We lost all our savings and were left with debt of almost £20,000
We have just about kept our head above water but i am on mat leave and that ends this month.
We have managed to cut our outgoings considerably. Cancelling all non essentials insurances , sky package etc. I shop on the cheap now and my bill has halved. We have also moved our mortgage to interest only which has helped.
We are desperately fighting to keep our head above water as he is in the financial industry so missed payments etc would have a devestating impact on his job prospects.
He has managed to find another job but i offer you my upmost sympathy it's very hard.
Even more so when you are worrying about the dc's too!

lou031205 · 17/09/2008 20:22

helplesshomeless, I know this isn't going to give much comfort, but my parents didn't pay their mortgage for over a year before they got their first letter saying "We need to do something about this". And court action was a few months down the road from that.

My parents had no income, so couldn't pay, but I just want you to know that you do have time for your DH to look for other work.

Original poster

helplesshomeless · 17/09/2008 20:32

Thank you for your support. Dp is home and reading stories to dd. I can't believe this life I love is going to change so dramatically.

Lilyloo - great to have a positive slant on this. It feels like a bottomless pit we will never get out of at the moment and it is still all so unknown.

lou031205 - I am amazed that there wasn't earlier legal action on your parents. When was this? It feels like the bailiffs will be around tomorrow (I know they won't) so good to hear how much time we could have. I suppose if the banks started repossessing all the houses of redundant workers in this day and age they would end up with a whole lot of property that they couldn't shift anyhow! Saftey in numbers!!

OP posts:

LadyMuck · 17/09/2008 20:39

A lot will depend on who you have your mortgage with and how well you communicate them. Keep paying something each month.

Helplesshomeless, why do you feel that you are only a few weeks from eviction? The process is usually much lengthier?

flubdub · 17/09/2008 21:29

Hello, were in a bad boat too.
Dps wages dont even cover our £777 a month mortgage.
Im on mat leave. Have two ds's too.
Our credit rating is horrendous, and the discount runs out in feb. Nobody will want to touch us. Were in £18,000 of debt, none of which we can pay.
I feel sick. We will lose our home no doubt come the end of the discount.

Lilyloo · 17/09/2008 21:56

Helpless i think your in shock now which is understandable but you need to seriously look at ways which you can cut outgoings staright away.
What you had is gone but you can work towards improving things with a lot of hard work.
I would make a list of your outgoings , see what are non essentials and loose them.
Then speak to any companys you owe money too and explain situation.
How sson can he look for another job ?
Has he any contacts in his field as worth getting lot's of feelers out.
If he is employable which i imagine as a director he is then there is no reason he can't get another job.
There are lot's of steps you can take before loosing your home.

Flubdub have you spoken to anyone about this ? I think just waiting for it all to come down on top of you must be horrendous and you need to see if you can get some control over your debt.

lou031205 · 18/09/2008 16:15

Helpless, payments stopped July '06, First serious letter July '07, taken to court 'Feb '08 but my uncle stepped in & cleared arrears. Will all be starting again though due to their mental state & no money (at all) coming in.

Charlene1 · 28/09/2008 15:05

Hi helplesshomeless, hope you are ok.
Can either of you get a evening/weekend job just to fall back on for now? Me and dp are looking at this - he is considering driving/courier/training, or some sort of night work, and I've just applied to WH Smiths for evening / weekend work until xmas - if I don't get that, I will try and get a checkout/shelf stacking job whilst he looks after kids, as I am in danger of losing my job too at the minute - I have also asked for details of a p/t call centre job I've seen - at least I wouldn't be on my feet all day, and it may be boring, but it's only pt if you get my drift!
Can you do any private tuition with you being a teacher?
I have had real trouble in the past when I wasn't working (pre kids and DP luckily!!), with the house and everything, and when I went to court, I had to convince them that I was doing everything possible to maximise income and I had to keep to reduced payments for 6 month, cash in the endowment and change to a repayment mortgage - will the bank let you temporarily switch to interest only if your dp loses his job?
I would see what happens over the next month, and save on everything you can - we save all loose change in a jar and take it to the coin save machine each month - not much, but helps with shopping.
I know how you feel - when you're at work you haven't got chance to look for jobs or sort put problems!
We have no money for anything at the minute so stress is high, but try and find something to do that doesn't cost much, just to "get away from everything" for a bit - it makes you feel more able to deal with things - even if it's something trivial like going to the local garden centre to look at the pets on sale and buy a new plant!
Make sure you keep posting on here for support!! Someone may have something more helpful for you!

KatieDD · 28/09/2008 18:45

To be blunt you have to bury your head in the sand for a long time before you'd loose your house, the banks will do anything to avoid reposession, it is not in their interests to do so, but your credit rating is affected after 3 missed payments.
Even if it gets to court and you go in with all your accounts in order and can show the judge you are trying to pay something you should be fine.

ajandjjmum · 28/09/2008 19:02

Can't help practically, but can just say that so many of us must be thinking 'there but for the grace of God....'. It's a vile market, and there are bound to be lots of casualties. At least you and your dh have each other and your dd.

Hope things work out.

sarah293 · 28/09/2008 19:08

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expatinscotland · 28/09/2008 19:09

best of luck!

Bumperlicious · 28/09/2008 19:23

Awful situation for you OP. But some good advice here, sounds like it may not be as dire as you think, at least not straight away.

We are in a spot of bother too, but not from the credit crunch. DH and I for the last 6 months have both worked part-time to share care of our DD, so finances were already pretty stretched and we were spending more than we earned, just a little, but it all adds up. His job was shit anyway, but it paid the bills and mine is civil service so secure but not brilliantly paid. Anyway, now DH's company has said he can't work part-time (we've apprealled etc.) so on the advice of the union he left and is now going to take them to court, so I am working FT time temporarily, though that still doesn't cover what we were bringing in before as we were both working about 3/4 FT which made 1.5 time a FT wage. Now we are on mine and it doesn't cover our bills. DH has got to find a job asap but finding a part-time job with enough pay and hours is really hard. In the meantime I am really panicking. Fortunately we rent but I really don't want to have to move, in actual fact, we can't afford to move!

Anyway, sympathies to everyone else going through a tough financial time. It's not as bad as you think it is going to be when you get there, you just get on with it and it becomes normal. The worst thing to do (and also the hardest thing to stop) is worrying and making yourself ill over something you can't stop.

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