I can't deal with the CSA anymore, it is driving me mad! Rant!

[Pawslikepaddington]

Dd's dad has never paid any maintenance. He is self employed, I have his address and phone number. The CSA have done nothing at all over 4 1/2 years, and we are now in dire straits and need the money. All they can do apparently is send him letters, as he is self employed, so can't force him to pay maintenance, but this all seems so wrong! If I owed money to a company they would send bailiffs round eventually, not say "oh, sorry, you're not responding to letters so we won't bother". Am having to do the awful thing and stop him seeing her, as I drive 400 miles to take her to him and bring her back, and don't even get the petrol money back. I feel dreadful but what else can I do?

you drive 400 miles to take her to see him!!! OMG I thought I was going OTT to take the DS's on the bus for 45 minutes to see exH this last weekend!!

It is not an awful thing to stop taking her to seeing him - you are on some level enabling his total lack of responsibility. So sorry he is such a useless bloody waste of space.

You have bent over backwards. You need the money. You are not a bad person for not helping him.

Really hope he wakens up and starts taking responsibility.

I was always really into making sure I wasn't one of those mothers who held off visitation because the dad wouldn't pay maintenance so stuck with it because of that really, and I feel guilty because she loves her dad and it is me that moved away, not him, but we cannot afford it any more.

haha! sorry tis not funny but i have to laugh at the csa! my ex actually works for the government and they still cannot be bothered to extract any money from him

Thank you both-I know this is sweeping, but this osonly observed from the friends I have that do have xp's-the onus always seems to be on the mum to do everything, and the dad just sits back. You never meet anyone with a bend over backwards xp, unless it is a mummy that really isn't that nice!

this is only, sorry! Why don't the CSA employ credit agencies/baliffs? It is debt after all isn't it? Shesellsseashells-that is ridiculous!

Ring him and tell him he has to contribute as you cannot afford petrol money anymore - if he says you moved say yes I understand that but I am spending living allowance on petrol so she can come and see you and if you were contributing it wouldn't be an issue.

You would not be stopping her from seeing him just making him take responsibility.

They have done NOTHING! They just keep saying they are going to send off a trace to the inland revenue-this has been going on for 5 years-surely the trace should be back by now!!!!

Does he won the company 0- does he file VAT returns? I thought you could look up at companies house and see their VAT returns and so that way could do someof the digging yourself and see what he has been earning. You need to put the ball in his court though and make him come and get DD or cough up some cash so you can afford to do the journey.

they keep losing all my details, apparently we need another dna test to prove that she is his. and somehow the claim keeps getting cancelled

Yes, think I will do that Madame. I feel a bit sorry for dd actually because she is well spoken, goes to a v nice little state primary, and spends a lot of time doing what I deem to be educational things-we cycle a lot, go to the beach, park etc-fun but free things, and she goes to see his family and they say she is "weird" because she doesn't know who Ben10 is, (we watch tv, but usually Charlie and Lola, disney movies, care bears etc), "why do you want to read when you can watch tv", and she is "too posh" and should be more common, and that I'm turning her into a stuck up cow. They say it in jest, but I don't find things like that funny and she is very sensitive> Her dad doesn't say it to her, but it still hurts her.

He won't tell me the name of the company, and he doesn't own it-his dad does, so I think it may be a dodgy set up to avoid paying maintenance. He drives a nice car, rents an annex on a farm, has quite expensive clothes etc, he obviously has income from somewhere-I don't see why they find it so difficult! If he was claiming benefits it would be on record. He isn't, therefore must have money from somewhere-it is common sense!

You need to go back to the CSA and ask for a variation based on lifestyle being incompatible with stated income. You should also get your mp to write on your behalf.
A trace through the inland revenue takes about 6 months.
If you can show that the CSa have maladministered your case you are entitled to claim compensation for that.
They do employ bailiffs by the way. They can put a charge against someones house if they really want to.
If i were you i would write to them requesting your records under the data prtection act. They have to comply within 40 days.
You get two bundles, one is the computer printout and the other is all the handwritten notes.

When i got mine, i found that my ex partner had paid maintenence for almost a yr but i had never seen a penny of it as the CSA had wrongly stated i was receiving benefits.
I got that money back and a little more on top as compensation.

My ex partner has a charge against his house. Unfortunately he has been missing for 6 yrs now but his parents run his affairs in his absence. The csa are now talking about forcing a sale.

Thanks newforold-that really helps. Sorry he has been missing for so long-that is really sad, especially for your dc's.

No no, they have assessed nothing. They are saying that he has told them he doesn't have an income, so they are taking that as written, without bothering to check it out.

As you obviously see your exp, why don't you ask him to pay you without going through the csa?

Because he just says "I'll give it to you later, I've got nothing on me/am broke at the moment" and I never get a penny, so the only way it will work is if it is taken from his wage before he spends it.

Its not possible to take money from a self-employed person as they don't ahve an employer to take the money from

No but they can get a liability order. The CSA do have a pretty big bite when needed, although you really have to push. Ex partner was self employed.

Thanks for sympathies by the way Paws. It's actually ok though. He didn't have anything to do with Dd even before he went missing for lots of reasons.