Do you legally have to change your name if you get married?

[PanicPants]

I have just got married for the 2nd time, and to be honest the thought of having to go throught the whole change my name process AGAIN for the 3rd time (from maiden name to 1st husbands, then from 1st husbands back again to maiden name, and now to 2nd husbands) is not filling me with joy.

It would also be simpler for work if I kept my maiden name (I'm a teacher, and some children I taught knew me when I was married to 1st husband, so even now some of the older children call me by my exhusbands name, instead of maiden name.)

Do I legally have to? And what are the implications if I don't?

(BTY I do love my husband before anyone suggests otherwise )

Some spectacularly dim girl in NatWest told me I 'had' to change my name, 'it's the LAW', I told her no it wasn't and she refused to serve me (so I got her manager and thankfully he had more sense) - as it was, I ended up having to change my name a few years later when remortgaging as the lawyers just assumed it would be Mr & Mrs xxx, and the bank wanted the payment to come from an account in that name (it was a staff mortgage, I worked for NWB at the time!) and because I'd had to change my staff bank account I had to change all my work-related stuff too - pain! But I quite like being Mrs LC now, especially as someone with my exact maiden name has recently published a misery memoir (something along the lines of 'no mummy, not the cellar'...)!

Putting the cat among the pigeons... i haven't made final decision on which name to use when we get married. But the one thing I do feel strongly about is not being Mrs. I want to stay Ms. I don't feel my marital status is relevant (outside of doctors or shwatever, obviously) and so resent being Mrs. So I'll be Ms Bling or MsBling'sDPsName

No, I didnt' eithr time I still have the name I was born with

Lovecat I had the same from Alliance and Leicester who told me that any account I opened with them HAD to be in my married name.
Complete bolleaux.

I didnt change my name. No Hassle at all. I didnt have to do anything, unlike all the passports/bank cards hassle that people who change thier names have to do when they get married.

Blinglovin
I use Ms as well when I have to choose between Mrs/Miss/Ms. I dont see why anyone should be able to tell my marital status from my name. I will not be defined by a man!! [feminist icon]

how weird - I am with Natwest and have never been challenged about paying in cheques in any form of my names, in fact only yesterday I paid in a bunch of 3 cheques, one to Dr (husband's name), one to Mr and Mrs (Husband's name) and one to Miss (my name). They didn't bat an eyelid - or ask if we were married.

Admittedly it was into our joint account and the paying in book shows both of us as account holders, so perhaps that helped. Thinking about it I don't think I've ever tried to pay in a cheque to Mrs (Husband) into my personal account - I've always put it into the joint account and then transferred the money across via the internet.

We have had mortgages with Halifax and Barclays and neither have objected (although Barclays INSIST on addressing everything in my husband's name alone which really riles me as it's mainly my money!)

I always use Ms as well - seeing Mrs (my name) on letters makes me think they are addressing my mum!

Or even worse, Mrs [his name] makes me think of my MIL

SOOOO glad. Most people think I'm this raving, slightly psycho feminist who's likely to refuse to let a man take out the garbage any second when I mention the Ms thing.

[clearly, anyone who wants to take out the garbage so I don't have to, is welcome. I couldn't care less if it was a green alian from Mars]

I'm a Ms too and have been since I was about 18 (I'm 41 now)

what if you do want to change your name? what do you do? is it a palaver? I kind of assumed that once we were married then that was it - officially changed

No you don't have to. I'm married and have been for 12 years and never took DP's name. Have passport in my name and everything!

I've been a Ms since about 18 too. Dh didn't take my name when we got married either (d'you see what I did there ). DS has DH's surname, it's not been a prob so far but he is only 2.

I did travel with him on my own recently, but only in EU. I took birth cert just in case but no one asked to see it. The passport control bloke did say 'and is this your son?' to me we came thro (DS strapped to my back sucking his thumb) and I just said 'yes' and no more questions asked.

Occasionally people ask for Mrs DH, particularly in relation to stuff about DS, and I just say - no, but I am DS's mother Rhinestone.

No. I'm sure it's less hassle to keep your name - the only problems we've had in 5 years were paying in a couple cheques from family who assumed I was taking MrNC's name, as we don't have a joint account either. All that was needed was for me to take the marriage cert to the bank with MrNC's signature on the back of the cheques, and I paid them into my account.

I had to laugh when going over a car insurance quote last week, as my insurer were checking to see if they'd match it. They asked "This quote says MrNC is married, and we have 'cohabiting'. WOuld you happen to know if he is married or not?" "Yes he is. To me." "Oh. Er. Congratulations. Er. Is your name right?" "Yes, it is." "Excellent. Yes, we'll match this quote.

My pet hate is call centre people - always women, oddly, who go "Is that Miss or Mrs?" I do enjoy being able to go "Dr, actually" at them...

Thanks for all your comments - thought I'd be slated for not 'loving him enough'
to change my name!

I've had constant problems with NATWEST concerning changing back from my first husbands name to my maiden name. My card and cheque books are in my maiden name, but all the post is addressed to my ex husbands name, I've even had cheque books with a mixture of both names on it

use what names you like when you like. i am maiden name for work, passport (i travel a lot for work) and driving licence: married name on bank accounts, utility bills, doctor and dentist registration and things to do with ds. i am maiden name to lots of my old friends when they send cards etc and married name to my own family when they do. quite instructive to see who automatically changes your name after you're married and who doesnt!
the only thing is make sure you keep a few copies of wedding certificate handy (sometimes needed to prove your 'other' identity if you use your maiden name a lot); and be sure if you use both that you have ID in both names as can be a pain otherwise.
the bank also took a LOONG time to accept the name change, they did change it on the account but i only discovered that they hadn't changed the secure copy of your signature that they keep on the day we were moving house, because they refused to let me take £80k out of my account that was needed for our house purchase (from the old flat sale) on the grounds that i didnt sign my old signature initially. even tho this didnt match the account name any more!
i was about eight months pregnant and just burst into noisy tears. in the end they gave me the money to shut me up

The only person who has struggled with me not changing my name when I got married is my grandmother - which is understandable given her venerable age. But even she's got the hang of it now! (I'm sure she doesn't approve but that's another matter).

Quite agree about the Ms thing as well. The whole point of the title is that it isn't related to your marital status. LIke Mr.

Anyway, congratulations on your marriage!

Congrats on your marriage.

I've kept my maiden name.

LloydsTSB tried to change it - send a chequebook out in my husband's surname because we'd gone in to add him a a joint account holder on MY account I'd had with them since I was 18.

When I phoned up to complain, I was told I had to send them a letter saying I wasn't changing my name.

I played hell (did they expect men to say they weren't changing their name?) and had the manager around to the house apologising after that.

Dds have my surname as a middle name...they do complain now and again that their names are the longest on the school register, but if they want to drop one of the names in later life that's fine with me.

Other than that you get the odd old aunty who still insists on addressing Christmas cards to "Mr and Mrs dhsurname".

And I've called myself Ms since marriage - no-one questions that these days.

It's also a useful bullshit filter if we get cold calls by phone "Is that Mrs dhsurname?". "No, she died 5 years ago, who's speaking please?"

Congratulations.no requirement to change name.in fact he could take yours

i haven't changed my name
bank account is in my surname and dh surname

quite often get cheques addressed to "Mrs dh surname". I just pay them in, no one has ever noticed/mentioned it.

i do have my surname as an extra "middle" name for the dds though. one of the many reasons for this was so it is on their passport incase there was ever a query if we travelled without dh. Also that way when they are older they can double-barrel or even change their surname to mine if they like (mine is WAY nicer!)

I've had Christmas cards addressed to "Mr and Mrs [tribpot's surname] - [tribpot's dh's surname". When I say "you realise neither of us have changed our name?" the response is "oh god we thought you must have done because that's what people do nowadays if the woman doesn't want to change her name solely". Erm, no.

My mum reverted to her maiden name when divorcing my dad and kept it when marrying again a few years later. I had my dad's surname until I was 18, and brother and sis took their dad's name. 3 different surnames in the house, lots of potential confusion. Then mum and stepdad split when brother and sister were in their teens by which point I'd changed my surname to my mum's. Brother and sis then changed to my mum's/my surname. I'm never changing my name again even if I do marry dp at some point.

ds has my surname but also has dp's surname as his final middle name.

My SIL is in a very similar position to you. Maiden name - married name - maiden name - new married name. (she's also a teacher which I think is an added complication!). She's stuck to her maiden name this time round for all the reasons you are considering.

On the legal side of it, for the last twelve years I've had a double identity - (maiden name and married). I have two bank accounts -one joint account as'Mr and Mrs x' and a second (though linked account) as Miss MacGloo. 'Parent friends' at school know me as 'Mrs X' (ie DS's surname) while everyone at work knows me as Miss MacGloo. All I did when we got married was to use my marriage certificate to open the join account and change the name on my passport (no idea why I did that - a romantic gesture I think .) Aside from that I just carried on as normal using my maiden name - partly because I'm self employed so had build up a reputation as Miss MacGloo and also because I HATE the fact that women are defined by their marital status when men aren't.

The only hassle I've had has been when asked to present two forms of ID and the only things I've had on me have two different names on. Plus the police nearly got called in Tesco's once when I signed Miss MacGloo on a switch receipt which I'd paid using my Mrs X account. (But now everythings chip and pin that isn't a problem any more).

Apart from those minor annoyances, I rather enjoy having two names ( and two COMPLETELY different signatures) which I can use as I please depending on circumstances. If I'm feeling officious or making a complaint about something (i.e when I need to be a grown up) I refer to myself as Mrs X. For all other frivolities - including work - I prefer to me Miss Macgloo.

Of course it's not the law! It's just a custom! By far the easiest option is not to change your name and then you don't have to do anything or inform anyone. I did not change my name, (and the dcs also have my surname with DH's surname as a middle name) it is entirely up to you.

The other aspect of it is, being entirely practical and not suggesting this is relevant to the OP at the start of her marriage, the entire world doesn't have to know when you get divorced. I remember various women I've worked with over the years who would 'disappear' from Outlook one day because you'd be looking for Sally T and suddenly she was Sally R and you had no idea. The last thing you want (I would imagine) is to have to go around telling everyone "oh hi my email address has changed" at such a moment.