How do you do pocket money?

[boredatthehairdressers]

Just that really! What works for you?
I have an 11yo and a 13yo. They are going into Y7 and Y9. We’ve never done pocket money and they do next to nothing in the house. Neither fact is helping them become responsible.

I would like it to encompass lunch money, socialising money (and probably clothes? Although how do people do that? If they need trainers, they need trainers!).

Please give me your ideas.

14yr DS gets £60pm, he takes the bins out, recycling, cleans our cars every weekend, feeds pets. 10yr DD £40pm, keep her room tidy (she’s extremely messy/arty) feed pets, small cleaning jobs she enjoys. They both use their money for hobbies. His airsoft, hers art supplies and horse riding. If they don’t do their jobs they don’t get it. Simple. Never back down and it will work well 🤗

I think Y7 is too young to expect budgeting for lunches, essentials etc if they’ve never had any pocket money before. It’s 0-100 overnight.

i would start with socializing money only. Then add on responsibility gradually.

also you have to think about the rules around money and enforce them consistently.

School dinner money is separate from pocket money. DD gets £40 a month which is for her non essential clothes/toiletries etc and socialising. Not linked to chores. I don't get paid to do housework, neither does she. She does the chores I ask her to do. If she doesn't, there are natural consequences. I have collected up her possessions from the floor and put them in a bin bag in the past. I have made her phone a brick because it was taking up too much of her time. I have made her late to see her friends because she had to tidy her room first.
The way I work the essential clothes is that if she needs trainers for example, I will provide the cash for a reasonable pair of trainers. If she wants fancy trainers, she has to add her own money to make up the difference

There are many threads about pocket money/household running on MN if you care to search. Each answer is specific to the family/child, like on this thread, so perhaps not much help.

I never really did pocket money and I still don't.

. And I never tied it to household jobs - the reward for those is a functional house, fresh bedding, etc. In the household, DDs did jobs they could do and if there was any blowback, I pointed out that they could unload the d/w but only DH or I could drive them in the car to an activity.

For a while, in late primary/early secondary, DD1 was on £1/week and DD2 on 50p/week. Usually this was paid in arrears when one of us suddenly thought of it and thus I handed over a tenner and a fiver respectively or similar.

DH and I have always provided all essentials and many of their hearts' desires but sometimes deferred to birthdays or Christmas (e.g. new bike, laptop). Relatives gave generous gifts (e.g. smiggle backpacks, ugg boots) and often uncles gave a £20 note for birthdays or Christmas and DDs had that as 'pocket money'.

Aged 16, DD1 started at the local pub and has been raking it in ever since. DD2 has done some very lucrative cat-sitting. Nationwide has paid them £100 each at least twice.

TLDR:
People talk about 'teaching the value of money' but I think that lesson is easily learned. DC goes to shop with £5 and discovers how far it doesn't go. Teens want trendy clothes ...

A better lesson is relative costs: £300 for a handbag or 3 weeks' food shop; £50 for a tank of petrol or a takeaway; takeaway vs £50 of groceries.

More important is teaching about bank accounts: how they work and how to choose one and why and talking about how to plan for monthly costs (insurance, utilities, rent/mortgage).

Teach about ISAs and stocks & shares and pensions, interest rates, compound interest, dividends and the FTSE100 (not an under table game...)

DS is 7 he gets £3 a week, he makes his bed, tidies his room and sets the table for dinner, he also gets ad hoc pocket money jobs at the weekend, this time of year it's watering the plants and collecting in anything that's grown (good crop of strawberries at the moment and the courgettes and tomatoes will be ready within a week or so,), other times it's loading/unloading the dishwasher or bringing laundry down, sorting whites and putting it in (I do the detergent). He also clears the plates most nights at dinner, I don't ask him to do that, he's done his own for a long time and took ours one night and got a big thank you and some praise (which he loves) so now does it regularly.

We keep chores separate from pocket money, helping out with the house is just a fact of life, something they won’t be paid to do when they’re older and part of being a respectful house mate. So I won’t incentivise it, I expect it.

Pocket money is more linked to behaviour/school ie they get a set amount if something was to happen at school, misbehaviour etc it’ll be docked.

Currently DS 15 gets £30 a month; but that doesn’t include clothes, school lunches or phone. I have just started giving him £200 x 2 a year for clothes, he’s become very frugal in Vinted! When he starts sixth form I will probably give him a bigger sum to balance phone bill etc to get into budgeting more, but I’m hoping he’ll have a job in sixth form.

The only rule I have always put on pocket money is it’s not allowed to go on in-gaming spends.

Mine received debit cards when they turned 11. We transferred £5 a week, easier to budget than monthly. We didn't link the money directly to chores, and we tend to put higher expectations on study amd extracurriculars. The pocket money was just for treats, we paid lunch money, clothes, activities, family trips out.

I agree. Children shouldn’t be financially rewarded for treating their family and home with respect/generally helping out. Our kids were expected to help lay and clear the table, keep their rooms and possessions organised etc. Eldest is back home from uni and I’m not going to start paying her now to do what has always been expected.