Has saving and side hustling stopped me enjoying the present?

[OceanAvenue]

I have become a bit obsessed with saving and investing and side hustling and I'm wondering if it is impacting on my ability to enjoy the here and now. I enjoy being frugal but I don't want to be tight or miss out on previous time now. I do splurge on holidays, but find myself penny pinching at other times. Any advice?

Sounds like you are spending money on what’s important to you and being frugal in other areas- eminently sensible imo.

Perhaps set yourself a fun budget that you allow yourself to use only for that. Don’t allow yourself to invest it or save it long term. I’m a saver and investor myself and enjoy seeing the numbers rise at our monthly reviews. However, I also have to remind myself that I might not get to retire, even though I hope to early (my reason for saving). There are plenty of people personally and in the media that never made it and were gone to soon. We need to live a good life as well as saving. My children are teens now and the time with them is slipping away before they largely live their own lives. There needs to be balance between now and the future.

Could you spend a bit less on holidays and allow yourself X amount per month to enjoy life more?

I do allow myself some 'fun' money but I feel a bit guilty if I spend it. I'm saving around 40% of my wage which I know is plenty though!

I am the same.
Set myself about 10 pounds a week after lockdown or thats what it averaged.Got a small work bonus and updated my wardrobe.Its difficult as I feel I'm wasting precious money if I just mindlessly spend.
Have you ever been really skint? I have so I try to avoid being there again.

Yes I grew up without much money and then lived for many years on poor wages. I've been very fortunate that I've over doubled my salary in the last 5 years, but think I'm stuck in this mindset.

How about a couple of sessions of counselling to work on this?

That could be a possibility, but would also be quite expensive. Ironically I am a mental health practitioner, and I should be completing therapy as part of my role. Maybe I'll discuss it there!

What do you think you’re missing out on? Are you turning down meeting up with friends or buying things like gig tickets for an artist you love? Or is it that you just think there might be stuff out there to buy but it’s more nebulous? If the former, you might be missing out. If the latter, you might not be!

Good on you! You should be proud that you are saving so much but still allow yourself the odd treat and splurge a bit on travel. Sounds ideal to me! This was the norm up until around 30 years ago. The only sticking point would be if you have a relationship with someone who thinks differently, but you haven't mentioned this so am assuming not. Keep it up!

If you've set a fun budget alongside bills, saving 40% of your salary, which is loads, holidays and anything else you want/need then while you don't need to spend this money for the sake of it, you should allow yourself to spend on things you want, guilt free, when you do want them, even if they seem expensive or poor value for money.

Thanks everyone, I am proud of myself but don't want to sacrifice the now for a future which might not happen. I really want to FIRE at 55ish, so I am working towards that.

Have you worked out what you think you may be missing out on now? Once you’ve identified this you could work towards having pots of money for things that are important to you such as socialising with friends etc.

My DS has a good job and a lucrative side hustle. He’s saved a low six figure and I was a bit concerned he was living too much for the future. However he’s recently loosened his purse strings a bit and seems happier. He’s bought himself some nice glasses, booked two trips, some better quality clothes and is going out a bit more.

I’m a saver and think I have too much in the bank but I’m proud that I’ve managed to give myself a significant safety net and not have to worry if the roof collapses!

I have one nice holiday with DD each year and a trip to London. I buy ‘wants’ from Vinted if I’m still craving them weeks later such as a £220 Mulberry ring I got for £70 instead. If I find good quality shoes / clothes I buy a second pair as I know they’ll last. Just bought a second pair of Daniel sandals for £72 in the sale, they are exactly the same as a pair I have that are not worn out yet but I won’t even look at another pair for another 3-4 years.

I’m paying a lump sum off of on the mortgage when it’s up for renewal next spring and am determined to retire or be working significantly reduced hours by 60 (I’m 46 now).