What can we do about an uncooperative executor?

[mablemurple]

My two sisters and I are executors of our mum's estate. Unfortunately, there has been a falling out with one sister, who is now refusing to cooperate and will not talk to us at all, consequently the whole process has ground to a halt (we have not even obtained probate yet, six months after mum died). We sent her a letter asking her to contact us to discuss things so we can come to an agreement, but (predictably) she did not reply. We then asked the solicitor to write to her, which he has done, asking her to phone him. I am not optimistic that she will do this.
Does anyone have any experience of this? What can we do that will not cost us gazillions in legal fees (the estate, ironically, is very small, and none of us, uncommunicative sister particularly, have a lot of spare cash)? It is so sad, our mum would not have wanted this to happen at all and I fear this is a major split in our family.
If anyone has any advice, I would be very grateful.

Okay, so there are three of you, two of you have agreed on a course of action but the third refuses to get involved.

Well that's relatively simple. You need to go to court and let the judge sort it. There isn't any other option really.

But first I would point out to the sister who won't talk:

(1) The cost of sorting this out will be taken out of the estate so she's actually getting less money because of the dispute
(2) Delaying things makes no sense in terms of valuation - particularly in terms of property - the economy is in the shits and inflation isn't staying still.

Is there anyone in the family who could arbitrate and arrange for you all to have a reasonable chat about things?

Thanks for the reply WMMC. Luckily, there is no property involved so falling house prices is not a worry - all the estate is cash in a bank account. I really do hope that we don't end up in court - the stupid thing is that the sister who is not talking to us is the one who most desperately needs the money, so she is cutting off her nose to spite her face.
I wish there was someone in the family who could arbitrate - our father is still alive, (but divorced from mum aeons ago) and as a last resort we may ask him but I seriously doubt if he cares enough to want to get involved.
I alternate between being very and immensely about all this.

Personally I would just go straight to your dad and tell him it needs sorting. Whether or not he wants to be involved - he is involved because it's hurting the bloody lot of you.

It doesn't have to be expensive btw. Can the two of you who are being civil come up with a proposal? If it's just a three way split, minus costs, that's not exactly hard to deal with.

Otherwise you are facing a contested will which is going to swallow up a large percentage of the money - if not all of it. Does your sister realise this?

The citizens advice bureau will be willing to see your sister and tell her this - perhaps you should suggest she goes to see them. They will tell her to get with the programme and resolve things.

I'm sorry about your mum btw. Can't imagine how difficult that must be.

Thank you WMMC. Mum's will did say three way equal split, but my sister & I have some issues with the third sister about certain expenditure from mum's account when she was still alive, but in hospital. So in effect, I suppose the will is contested.
My other sister does not want my father involved, but you are right, he should do something because it affects all of us, so I think I will try to persuade my sister to involve my father (not to take sides, but to get third sister to talk to us).
I think third sister would rather the estate was swallowed up in legal fees rather than any of it go to us .

Okay, well it's not unusual in these cases for there to be accounting questions but really honestly, in lots of ways you may be better to just say 'bugger it' and just go for a three way split of what's left over (unless it genuinely is a massive percentage). You can't win, any of you, you've already lost what is important, which is your mum and the rest is just money.

If you can take the high road here and just agree to split what's left, perhaps it will mend some fences. There's always one member of the family who will attempt to take advantage in situations like this (sadly) and sometimes it's just worth writing it off to experience.

Do you think that's a possibility?

I don't think that is a possibility at the moment. It may be after we have talked and if third sister continues to be intransigent then we decide to cut our losses, but at the moment she will not talk at all, so the estate cannot be divided in any way whatsoever.

Bugger

I think Daddy dearest is your best bet then! Make him talk to her - and just try and hold onto your sanity - I know it's frustrating.

Thank you WMMC.