SAHMs, how does money work in your house now you're not earning?

[alittleteapot]

I'm new at this and was a reasonably well paid freelancer before having the baby. I'm not going back for a good while so now have no income of my own though I do have savings. DP works very hard and is now the sole provider to our joint account which pays for everything household, food, and also presents etc for people we both know. I'm paying things like my phone, clothes treats etc from my savings. It's all fine right now but i feel like we should probably talk it all through so we know how we're managing it and why. We've never really addressed the bigger picture of joint finances though we've always had a joint account that we used to pay equally to.

It feels a weird having no income though obviously I also work very hard, I feel I have the better deal than DP.

Would be interested to know how you manage things in your house.

Ta.

dh has his own business , he doesnt really pay himself a salary as such but i get an allowance each month and all i pay out of it is food, he pays everything else.
when i was working we pooled the whole lot, had joint savings etc, now evrything comes out of the company.

Think everyone on here has a good deal! I gave up my job just before number two was born, my savings have just run out. Child benefit and tax credits are paid into dh account and he is paid in cash which goes straight into his wallet. He pays for everything obviously but we now have a situation where i have to ask for money for things!

Boot on other foot for us - Dh has been a SAHD since I went back to work after having DS1,8.5 years ago now.

We don't have a joint bank account, but I just transfer an agreed amount to his bank account each month. I pay the mortgage and most of the bills out of my account, while he pays for most of the food and a few other things like the broadband out of his account.

The only thing that slightly irks me is that he knows what I spend all my money on as he looks at my bank statements and keeps my cash book for me, whereas I never see his bank statements. But we don't argue about money.

Cafebistro - I'd say that you've got a bad deal there. I'd hate to have to 'ask' DH for money. Especially the CB and TC which should go to the primary carer, so you. Can you change the bank account that they're paid into?

We have joint accounts and credit cards
I buy what I need/want as I wish (within reason!)

Various mates have done the whole paying for their stuff with their savings while on maternity leave. Seems like a duff deal to me unless your OH is paying you for your childcare you are working for free

cafebistro - you should at the very least get the child benefit paid to you, it will give you home responsibilities protection for your state pension while you are not earning and paying NI

Im not living in the uk so the payment is the irish equivalent of CB......therefore i suppose im making no contribution towards NI etc. The payment is in my name but was originally paid into his account as i didnt have one over here. I could change it but cant be bothered with all the hassle it will cause

Exactly as before (all joint), except now there's less of it...

all our accounts are joint accounts and tbh i "manage" all the money even though dh does all the earning! He is v relaxed about it all and we both have a "whats mine is yours" attitude - but i do often feel guilty that i am not earning anything (and in fact am eating away at our meagre savings to pay for my postgrad uni course ) but as my wonderful dh often points out: i am doing a much more challenging job than him in caring for our son (and any future dc probably)all day and i am therefore entitled to AT LEAST think of it as my earnings too.
Think you having to use your own savings is a bit harsh considering you have had your child together with your DP and you are doing the day-to-day care. If you aren't happy about it i really think you should talk about it head on before it festers and becomes a bit issue. All the best

Not really you would feel angry and bitter if you worked worked worked created a successful lifestyle then left you.

DP & I decided to put everything into a joint account when I was pregnant, we were with separate banks before then. So we now have a joint current account, savings accounts and an investment account for DD, plus our mortgage. It's all just "our money".

I think it's old fashioned to do that nowadays but it's made it nice and easy.

When I was in joint relationship living together with child unmarried we choose to have joint account for all household bills inc mortgage as I was part time I put in less him more (when we both worked full time it was equal), we each had fun money (in our individual accounts) and we agreed big spends (holidays etc) I managed a lot of the financial household stuff but from speaking to my friends that don’t work but husband does they feel vulnerable about asking for family money.

I agree stop spending your savings, over time dipping in to it means it will eventually disappear.