Deed of Variation

[Witsend2025]

My db died 2 years ago and as he was only given weeks to live he executed a very basic will to make things easier for our parents. He did not have much and there was a lot of debts to be paid after his death. My parents wanted to give me monies from his estate (they are mid 80s) but I asked them to do this via a Deed of Variation. They had one drawn up and it was signed 2 weeks ago (I was also a signatory).
I currently work part time and my dd and exdh live with me. Exdh has not worked in years and our income is supplemented with universal credit. We have no mortgage and pay about 50% council tax.
Dd is in y13 and due to start university in September.
I'm assuming the monies should be paid to me ASAP but was wondering if payment could be delayed until then. The solicitor said there was no hurry to pay put the monies but he didn't know that I'm on benefits. At the moment we have a joint claim despite being divorced for 4 years but I don't want to support his lazy backside. He does not have a separate bank account.

You really need to separate your finances and get any money including income and benefits owed to you paid into an account in your own name. If benefits need to go in a joint account then keep a joint account for that purpose only. Your income, child benefit if in your name etc keep separate. Any inheritance to go to your solo account. Could you pass some into DD as a contribution to Uni costs to reduce the amount you have in savings? Don't know the answer about delaying the variation money.

One or both of you and ExDH needs to move out. 4 years is a long time to live with an ex!

Yes, it's very hard, last time I mentioned separating our claims to the job centre in September (last time I signed on) the lady suggested I speak to the CAB as there are obvious coercive control/verbal abuse issues. I did persuade exdh to tell them today he wanted to separate our accounts - apparently the joint account isn't a problem but I think it is. I am getting £200k so quite a lot, hoping exdh will accept half to leave and put the house in my name as its near my work and my parents.

Child benefit and my wages are paid into my sole account much to exdh's annoyance. DD3 is the youngest of 4dc.

Who owns the house and was any legal agreement made as part of the divorce? What is the value of the house?
This sounds like it could be a complicated situation, especially if your ex causes problems, have you spoken to CAB or a solicitor?

The house is in joint names (very bad state of repair - worth about £250k but would probably go to auction) and no agreements made after divorce. Exdh basically ignores the fact we are divorced. I haven't spoken to CAB or solicitor yet as dd3 has her IB exams over the next 2 months and I don't want to cause any ructions atm.

I thought a DofV had to be completed within 2years of the death. I took that to mean the money should have changed hands by then....? Are you getting close to that date?* *

@Lifestooshort71 the Deed of Variation needs to be done within 2 years of the death. Db died in the middle of March 2 years ago and the Deed was signed 3 weeks ago. My parents took legal advice and a solicitor drew it up. He said there was no rush to distribute the funds.

If your solicitor says it’s ok, then definitely hold off distributing the funds until you have a financial order sorted. You really need to bite the bullet and get this sorted, I understand not wanting to disrupt dd3s exams but it’s been four years! You can at least get started with financial disclosures and instructing a solicitor to draw up a final settlement.

Do you really want to keep the house if it’s in a poor state of repair? Woukd it not be simpler to sell, take your half, and buy something smaller and easier to upkeep with your half plus the inheritance?

That's what dd1 says but I am very attached to the house and if we sell it soon it's probably not worth me buying another house until I retire (in 5 or 6 years) as I'll probably move nearer one of my older dc. That means I would most likely move in with my parents which would be difficult- not because of space. I have just paid for a new boiler.

The solicitor didn't know I'm on benefits, my exdh is not very easy to deal with. I can't imagine him giving full disclosure of his finances! He is not English and both his parents have died in the last 4 years. I believe he has property there but he is a pathological liar. I don't even know if he still has any money in his pension fund! I was a SAHM for years and he was a big earner until he decided not to work 18 years ago.

If he has property and you are about to inherit, you need to sort out your UC before they catch up with you

What can't you speak to CAB and a solicitor now so at least you can get your ducks in a row and be ready to move forward once DD has finished exams? You don't have to tell her you're having these meetings.

If you already have a separate bank account can you not just sign the joint account over to him, after removing your proportion of cash from it?

It all sounds very entrenched but this windfall plus youngest DC moving on sounds like the ideal time to bite the bullet and leave EX for good.

He didn't have much and there were a lot of debts to pay, but you're still getting £200K?

He had an ex council house in a bad area but was living in poverty when he died as the dwp had deemed him fit to work (which he wasn't) so he lost his sickness benefit.

@Meridas I could just give him the joint account but all the bills for the house come out of it so I'd have to move them over too - otherwise they might not be paid! I do need to bite the bullet but unless you've ever dealt with someone like him you wouldn't realise how difficult it is. Our eldest 3dc are all no/low contact with him.

It’s very difficult to see the wood for the trees when you’re in a situation and for you the benefits restrict your agency.

From what you’ve said here, however, I would say that when your youngest leaves, you should sign over the joint account, leave him in the falling down house (I know you’re attached to it but from what you’ve said you can’t prise him out) then start the post divorce proceedings to sell the house and get your half.

Start a new life. Again, from what you’ve said it would be nigh on impossible to get him to come to the table for full financial disclosure so you could just lose money on solicitors and more of your precious life trying.

@OhamIreally that's what I need to do. I shouldn't overthink things. If I left him in the house he wouldn't be able to afford the bills on a single person's universal credit but I suppose that would be down to him. We don't have a mortgage. He really doesn't care if everything falls down. Any repairs or replacements have always been done with lots of moaning and abuse from him. I suppose I'd still be responsible for the council tax though. He has made an appointment with the dwp to separate our claims (I've got to go as well and I'll have to take the day off work) but according to him they said it didn't matter that we still have the joint account! I think they're scared of him too. I'll let them know about the Deed of variation. Hopefully I'm on the home straight.