I’m shocked how many people know nothing about their finances

[SENDChaos]

I came across a thread on here earlier which made me look at the section and I’m absolutely gobsmacked at some of the things I’ve seen on here, especially in relation to joint finances

I completely agree op. And it's in real life too.

I've never had excesses of cash but I've always had a budget for stuff and know to within a few quid how much is in my accounts. I check every few days and track all my spending. I've done it since I left home at 18, through uni, work, marriage, kids, divorce, single parenthood and as an almost empy-nester.

In contrast my bff is clueless - both her and her DH have small undisclosed (from each other, my DP is friends with her DH)debt, they have very separate accounts and zero transparency about the figures each pays for the 'bills' from their own accounts. Both work ft and no kids - in my head they should be rolling in it but they scrimp at the end of every month. At no point in the month does she know when her dds go out, how much she has, zero savings.

Do you not just think everyone’s different though? I list to a lot of financial podcasts and what always strikes me is the fact that some of the professionals go with the you only live once, some talk about getting rid of debt over savings, some talk about cushions and needing to have a significant one- I heard a guy the other day that said his dad scrimped his whole life and died with his money still intact but never having been happy and that laid the foundation to put happiness and life experiences over huge nest eggs- this guy was on a business program that is all about giving people their best foundation so I found it intriguing that he admitted to this!

But yes sorry I’m digressing- people should know even roughly what they’re spending on different things and what they can trim/ save, what they can switch to to help them have more of their own money as opposed to insurance companies etc

Yes joint financial situations just seem wasteful to me but we’ve been married 26 years and very used to pooling our money. It seems many relationships are low trust and quite secretive and hence the money is not being utilised properly.

Yes it shocks me that people in relationships, and potentially with children involved, blindly leave the finances either to chance or to the other partner to manage. How can anyone in this day and age, with so many apps and platforms available to help manage money, not be aware of their own financial situation. How can you make any decisions on spending budget without a clear picture of your financial situation. It baffles me.

We both started investing as teenagers and before we knew each other. We have totally separate accounts but joint access to the Mother of all spreadsheets and have our own very big state of the union meeting at the end of the financial year to discuss what we are doing going forward plus any large financial outlay that may occur. There are various chats about finances all the time. It’s worked very well for us, it’s a competition to see who can get the best return. You cannot make quick decisions unless you have total autonomy.

We have always known what we are spending even when a big effort had to be made with an accounts book. So no joint finances works for us.

I’ve seen a woman who has been with her husband for 17 years, married with 2017, out £70k towards the deposit of a house, has twin 5 years old and doesn’t know if yheeea a mortgage and didn’t know she wasn’t on the deeds of the house!

another woman has a joint UC claim but doesn’t bother with her partners income, he’s been lying and now they owe DWP and HMRC and she’s worried because she owns a house, well has a mortgage and worries about where she stands regarding them collecting the debt!!

it’s complete madness!

I’m fairly lucky, always been quite savvy with finances though had a useless financial advisor in my 20s. Not everyone is like me though.

I agree. I think many people bury their heads in the sand, particularly when it comes to long term financial planning, pensions etc

Women as a group are so impacted by this. All the figures show that women are far more likely to be financially disadvantaged. When you think women do at least as well as men in every level of education now, and often enter the workplace with just as many opportunities, it’s quite shocking.

but then in addition to the posts you mention, there are regularly posts from women saying it’s ’not worth’ their returning to work after having kids because of childcare costs. Or they remain at home or on low paid part time jobs for aeons because they prioritise their husband’s job. It’s really worrying that so may women don’t think about the longer term. I speak as someone who continued working even when childcare bills equated to my take home pay, precisely because I wanted to maintain my pension and job opportunities. So very relieved I did.

Financial understanding and planning is so important.

Agree. I'm always flabbergasted by the stats about the number of people who are either in debt or just 1 paycheque away from complete financial instability. I honestly wouldn't be able to sleep at night! Not saying that in a judgy way, if you are a 'life is for living, it'll sort itself out person' you're probably more chilled out and happy than me on the day to day!

My grandmother honestly does not have a clue about anything financial. She went from my grandfather sorting out all the finances to her son and now grandson doing it. She wouldn't have a clue how much money she has even to the nearest £10,000 - the scary thing is that there are much younger women (and men) who are exactly the same.

I find both people who leave absolutely everything financial to their partners to manage, but also people who keep their finances completely separate and don't know how much their partners earn, equally strange. By all means if someone is better at that type of stuff, fine for them to do most of it but both parties should know the basics and make joint decisions about stuff like remortgages, etc.

I don't know what the answer is though - people always say "this is the stuff that should be taught in schools" but

a) how many people will remember stuff they learned 20 years ago - if you're taught about mortgages and investing at 14 but don't get a full time job until you're 22 and can't afford to buy a house, how much will you remember?

b) and, given the above, will the info you learned 20 years ago even be accurate?

c) whenever it comes up teachers say "but it IS taught!" = which tends to support points a) and b)!

Don’t discount the fact that a lot of women are in dysfunctional relationships and very possibly being financially abused too. Money is an easy way to control, especially if 1 of them has given up paid employment to look after kids.

I find it amazing that so many people don’t seem to understand the value in having a workplace pension. It is the closest thing to free money you are likely to get!

I’ve always thought this subject should be taught at schools: you can’t rely on every parent to teach their kids financial skills.

What’s dismaying is seeing the posts on here from women who’re financially dependent on their partners. But I get the point that money can be an easy thing to control and it’s not always easy to get out of the relationship.

I volunteer for an organisation where people have to pay an annual subscription/membership fee (not insurance - think local country house/garden/tearoom type place).
In the last couple of years we've had a push on asking members to set up a Direct Debit instead of paying online each year by card.
I am constantly surprised at the number of people who pay by DD AND also make an online payment. I would definitely notice a £40 transaction leaving my bank account - let alone two!
They only discover THEIR error when they receive two membership packs then all hell breaks loose, it's all our fault and they demand an IMMEDIATE refund!

it’s complete madness!

Also mad is partners outright lying to their partners...

I think the fact that an ISA can’t be in two names causes inevitable trouble. I keep an eye on finances (use a budget books, know incomes and bills etc) but the ISAs are currently in DH name so I don’t know exactly what’s in the bank. He tells/shows me if I ask obviously but to get the benefits of an ISA it can’t be in a joint account.

Its a strange rule that makes it easy for one partner to keep money away from another if they’re not informed.

I find it shocking too.
My unmarried best friend and her long term partner are currently trying to move house and she doesn’t know if she owns any of the house.

But you can each have your own isa and put half in each account

The clue is in the name...

You could always split money going into the ISA, makes sense especially if you can use more than one allowance.

Or use other savings accounts, especially make use of your personal tax free savings allowance in addition to your ISA.

This.

I was in one. My ex would scream abuse if I started to query anything financial.

This a million times over!

its not just people who don’t have a pension at all.
I know women of my age, late fifties, who have really poor pension provision either through years out of the workplace or only working part time. I’ve even talked to women who are intelligent, capable people who think that they’ll be ok because their husband has a good occupational pension… they assume that if he dies first, all of the pension comes to them. No clue about the spousal pension which is likely to be a fraction of what he gets.

re: the issue of schools teaching financial literacy- yes, there’s certainly a place for some basics but the thing is, information gets out of date and the onus is on the individual to keep themself informed. To be fair, there are so many excellent websites, apps and so on now that it doesn’t take a massive effort. It’s just about engaging with financial security as a really important issue and not something to be ignored or left to someone else to deal with.

Yes I agree and the knock on effect is no joint planning to pool efforts for large purchases, minimising interest costs, retirement planning an long term provision for children

I came from a hand to mouth never has anything household with debt collectors at the door

I learned the hard way, we both did.

Now I’ve educated myself and I’m reasonably savvy - can take advantage of 0% cash offers (small fee) to consolidate mortgage and save interest on recent hikes

I understand the value of saving and investing and how a SIPP works

I regret not learning this sooner an 1) buying a house and 2) making higher pension contributions 3) saving - even a tiny amount - I always had a good job and decent salary but just didn’t know the above

So Id urge anyone to read up on the basis and don’t be scared to have a big plan to get out of debt as it can be done with patience

I work in a financial advice support role. I'm shocked how many clients don't even know their retirement pension account numbers (ours are a different system) or how much money is in their accounts.

Many clients tell me to call their DH/DW/child because they manage the money & have no idea about any of it personally.

DB told me last night he is confused why they struggle because they live frugally. They are obsessed with lifestyle - take away, expensive impulse buys, hobbies & holidays, anything they want to do, they do. SIL just thinks the universe will provide and has zero idea. DB & I had the same financial education from DF, so it's not always that, it's just personality

So many women, on here and IRL, who have DC, not married and financially dependent on their male partner. No idea what he earns, if they're on the house deeds or mortgage, no savings or pension of their own, scraping by paying for the kids while their partner spends on an expensive hobby and questions every pound they spend.

Why on earth do you not have your own ISA? Put half the money in your own name. Make your own financial decisions. I am baffled as to why you have allowed yourself to be in this situation.

If you were thinking of putting money in one in the new tax year then tell him it’s going to be in your name.
At least that’s a start.