Money getting me down - any ideas?

[Nikki3009]

A bit of background... At 52 I left a 20-yr abusive relationship pretty much with the clothes on my back and the furniture from my daughter's bedroom!
I went into a shared ownership 2-bed house, it's what I could afford and it's a safe little home for myself and my DD, who, at 21 is in her final year at uni and living in student accommodation in London.
I work full time and earn just over £30k. My daughter gets full maintenance loan and lives off that plus I buy a lot of her food, do all her washing and try and help her out with travel costs. (her Dad isn't in the picture much but occasionally sends her some pocket money).

I feel overwhelmed financially. My old car just about scraped through it's MOT yesterday but there are several important advisories to fix. Today I got a letter to say that the rent portion of my home is going up by £50 per month. There's lots of things I'd like to do in my home but just know that I don't have the disposable income to do them.

In short, money is getting me down, as I'm sure it is for a lot of people! I live pretty frugrally. I cook from scratch, never eat out/takeaway, a friend does my hair every couple of months, I don't drink, don't smoke, haven't had a holiday for 6 years and I'm feeling that I am literally working to pay bills. I'm wondering if I should try and find an evening job in order to have a bit of extra pocket money? Is anyone else finding this? Any good tips for saving money/side hustles etc.

Lone parents, I salute you - this is hard. My daughter is home for reading week and mentioned that both her flatmates have gone away on holiday with their parents for the week. I know she didn't say it to upset me but it did highlight to me that I'm only able to provide the basics and I'd love to be able to take her away on holiday - we've been through a lot and I'd like to think we both deserve it :-) but I need a bit of disposable income to save for a holiday fund!

I don’t think you should be looking at getting a second job when DD isn’t working.

She can get a job as well and then you can have more of a cushion for when car dies, or you could go on holiday together?

I 'save' £100-150 per month by being as savvy as I can in lots of ways. It can take some discipline, but I see it as a bit of a hobby.

Food & bills are big areas to save money on. Make sure you are getting the best prices / rates for your bills. Haggle, compare & use cashback sites.

Know your prices for the food & items you buy regularly and stock up when on offer. Buy value ranges where no difference eg. Porridge Oats. Cook from scratch, including treats and keep things simple. Reduce meat and increase beans & Pulses. Meal Plan, Batch cook, waste nothing. Bulk out everything with these & veg.

Know where / when to get reduced prices and freeze. I freeze cheap ripe bananas and use for so many things. Use the apps for deals, savings, points, freebies etc. Does your employer offer a discount scheme at all? Buy vouchers at a reduced cost. Use Home Bargains & Farmfoods (the latter also gas money off coupons).

Use MoneySavingExpert, Hotukdeals and the Trolley app. Every time I make a saving I immediately transfer that amount to a separate savings account, it really does add up. Pop £100 into Premium Bonds, as you never know what you might win.

It's not a lot but do you pay for a TV licence? Do you need one? You don't if you don't watch live TV or use BBC iPlayer. If you're currently on a direct debit and paying £14ish a month you could cancel that and get a refund for a portion of the balance of your licence year as you are paying 6 months in advance.

Yes you will start getting letters saying you need to sign up again in a few months and yes they will send you threatening letters. But if you don't need a licence that's their problem not yours. In the incredibly unlikely case that they send someone around to check they have no more right to enter your property than any random stranger. So don't let them in even if it's thundering down and they need the loo.

Might mean you have a bit of money towards sorting the car.

After that check your credit history to see if you've got any payments going out that aren't really needed. Phone contracts that can be pared down at some point. Subscriptions that you don't need. All the usual stuff.

I don't think she can realistically look for a job right now, she's about to take her finals. OP could get a second job for 6 months by which time her dd should be working either at home or established on her own.

Good point about her finals - it’s a critical time for her. But she should have been working before.

As with all these situations, there’s only ever 2 ways to sort things…earn more and/or spend less.

Have you documented a full budget, literally every single penny you have coming in and going out. If not, you should start. Then go through your budget line by line to see what you can cut, or at least reduce.

Oh bless you. I studied for my finals on night shifts in a nursing home. My tutor thought I could have got a first.....but ended up with a high 2:1

You sound like a really caring mum who's doing her best, but it's hard. Money doesn't go very far these days - especially when it's just one average wage.

Increasing your income via a second job can work but it can be tiring in the longer term, especially if you're already working full time. You need to keep well and not burn yourself out.

Can you take a different approach and increase your disposable income by reducing your outgoings?
Martin Lewis recommends a 'Money Makeover' day - going through all outgoings to see where you can find cheaper deals/ make cutbacks. It can be really helpful: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

If you’re in or near a city I have a friend that does security for concerts, exhibitions and sporting events. Zero hours contract so she signs up for gigs she’d have liked to have seen, it’s a little over minimum wage and basically involves checking bags and tickets at the venue, keeping an eye on the crowd, helping people find their seats etc. She’s done it for a couple of years now - helps her make ends meet and she’s seen some cracking bands.

why would you be paying higher tax on a second part time job? unless the part time job was over £20k per year?

Only on MN do I see this attitude of how can students work? my DC have worked since they were 16, youngest in 3rd year at uni and has always worked 12/20 hrs pw. No way would I be counting the pennies whilst a 20yr old doesn’t work, most courses don’t even have that many contact hours,

Be careful about taking a second job. Do the maths. I took a second job (was short lived) and it messed up my tax code for the rest of the year. I’ve now paid too much tax via PAYE and I hope it will get sorted out and a refund at some point.

Could you use the “spare” room to earn income when DD is at Uni? Air BnB? Mid week lodger?

Could you offer weekend respite on an ad hoc basis. There are charities that could advise you and your LA might be able to advise too.

Martin Lewis and the Money saving expert website are your friends here. Someone recommended his money makeover downthread which sounds good if you don’t know where to start but the basic thing is that you need to sit down with your bank statements and figure out exactly where the money is going and where you can make savings on things you won’t even notice. .
you can save loads of money by shopping around for cheaper insurance, gas and electric, phone, broadband, TV. Also cancelling any subscriptions you have but don’t need.
Eg. I’ve got myself and DD on sim only phone contracts for about £5 a month each.
I’ve saved £100 on my annual home insurance this year.
Switched my broadband, saving £8/month.

Got Disney+ for free with a bank account.
Used Tesco club card vouchers for money off EasyJet holidays.

There’s also lots of tips on cutting grocery bills like going down a level on brands, having one or two “cheap meal nights” a week-( we have lentil soup or curry one night, jacket potatoes another night- way cheaper than meat). Making good use of leftovers etc.A lot of people swear by Aldi/Lidl but tbh I’ve got my bills right down and still shop in Tesco.

All small things but it’s pleasantly surprising how they add up. If you manage to save £100/month that would give you a decent holiday fund.

it does sound like you are giving your DD a lot of support and I wouldn’t be surprised if that adds up to more than you realise. A conversation with her would be a good idea, does she know how tight things are? She may be able to cut back and take less from you.

https://fivesurveys.com/register?ref=9b764ee8-b9a4-4e19-8bea-ab8074e49a52

I do online surveys and the best one I have found is five surveys,I get around £40 from that which helps,plus I do focus group discussions where you can earn £70 for an hour and a half giving opinions on various topics.The best I have found for this is Angelfish opinions

What is the maintenance loan? 8 or 9k untaxed ? I would seriously be thinking that she should be contributing towards some of the bills

food - £30 a week would be reasonable minimum

the additional council tax that you will be paying - whatever the lost single person discount is eg 50 a month

something towards your electric and gas bills - say a pound a day or £30 a month

say that’s 200 a month or 2400 a year - she still will have way more free cash than you i suspect.

Your DD needs a part time job. Over the age of 18 DC need to work part time if in education or full time if not to contribute.

@itsthetea
In Scotland it’s up to £11k, Id hope DD isn’t just using it for herself and is helping her mum out

To add DD is nearly 21, her dad isn’t obliged to pay anything