Would you be this frugal for two years for this endgame?

[pinkponie]

So dh and I were talking and we need a bigger property due to an unexpected third dc. We have a v small 3 bedroom flat but there’s 8 years in between dc 1&3 (dc2 is opposite gender and his box room is so tiny, getting a single bed in was a struggle). It wouldn’t be idea, for dc 1&3 to share long term as dc1 would be a teenager when dc3 is five. She will need her own space for stuff etc. I guess it could be done but our living areas were getting too small for 4, let alone 5. This property was only meant to be for a few years anyway (been here 3) but house prices shot up round here since then, it’s crazy. Even if ours went up at the same rate, we’d still be £200k+ behind actual houses and that’s for a three bed. We can’t currently afford that. Dh crunched the numbers and said that if we live on £850 a month for the next two years then we can save about £50k which would obviously be very helpful. This also means separately to that we could pay off our flat in two years. So our cash in bank to put towards a next property would be around £250k. We’re in Scotland which means that we’d need approx £40k for the offers over value (if you don’t know, basically up here if so etching is worth say £300k, you’d be
paying 10-20% over that out of pocket, you can’t mortgage that extra % as it’s over the value of the property).

So it’d be £250k we’d have but probably £200k for a deposit on a property after over value and solicitors fees etc. But it means that for anything post bills, we’d have £850 a month. This needs to include food, nappies, fuel (don’t use a lot of fuel to be fair). Any entertainment. We’d have already paid for kids clubs and streaming services as part of our bills, this is separate to the £850. We worked out that means we would have the money for one fun activity a month such as soft play/inflatable world etc. We do have lots of really good parks a short drive away although the weather is unpredictable at best . We currently spend about £350 each on the two older dc at Christmas but dh reckons we’d need to reign it in to closer to £200. Birthdays are about £200 each, so trying to get closer to £100 etc.

I guess I’m asking if it’s worth being frugal for two years with the dc at the ages that they are (9,7, baby) or if this will be too tight? We’ve also agreed that we will do a one week holiday abroad a year. I feel bad that Christmas and birthdays will be less as well as just day to day entertainment etc. Of course they won’t go without anything but it’ll be all clothes off Vinted kind of stuff (not slating it, both mine and baby’s wardrobes are 100% Vinted purchases). Would you do this or would it be too hard? Thank you for any replies.

I would, but would forgo the holiday and have more money to spend over the full school holidays.
i would also get a part time job.

ps I’ve bought a lot of property in Scotland and you should definitely not be paying over the valuation price, including the over offer situation. Every property will have a home buyer report and people don’t tend to pay over that-especially in this depressed market.

Definitely sounds doable. And with a pregnancy/newborn would you not be maybe missing out on a foreign holiday so that’s a large saving? TBH I think sometimes people throw money away on days out or “activities” when kids would’ve just as happy and more healthy playing in the garden, doing their own stuff at home with paints and pens or
enjoying local walks- especially as you’re in Scotland where a beach or hill walk will
be fairly close by. Choose a coastal path project or “let’s visit 5 beaches this season”
type activity to complete as a family and you won’t miss the soft play (only takes an hour up anyway) etc. Swimming is often cheap and many local authorities do the “quid a kid”
thing for other sports.
I think it’s very achievable…

I would prioritise spending on your older two and get secondhand items at Christmas for the baby who will know no different.
Id look for deals on fun activities and limit snacks out as it all adds up.
I wouldn’t go on a holiday abroad but a haven or similar.

Yes. And if you're going to do it, do it NOW.

9 and 7 year olds can still be amused with cheap days out, minimal tech etc.

The difference between a 9 and 13 year old is astronomical ime. It will be far more difficult in future.

So I’m actually a SAHP. I take my baby to free baby groups and a few paid for ones. DH’s income rises in line with inflation annually (well, I think they lie about how much it actually is but on paper his rides in line with it). Financially it wouldn’t be beneficial for me to work as I’d need to find a before and after school care provider for both DC’s as their school doesn’t offer that and a childminder or nursery for youngest. I don’t have a career so probably min wage. Just for context!

dont forget once they are 12 they are more expensive, holiday wise, afaik
so if you must have a foreign holiday, do it before they are 12

I don’t know if it’s clear or not but my baby is already here, 8 months

When we were younger we were in a tiny semi and with 3 children needed to move. Our garden was too small to extend. We both started doing extra work and my husband did as much overtime as possible. I was nursing, so extra shifts were always available. It was exhausting and tough, but worth it in the end. Good luck and just picture the end reward. Two years passes very quickly.

She clearly states this is after bills and kids clubs but before food and fuel.

Her monthly expenses could be £10k, the question is is £850 doable for discretionary spending.

I think it’s doable, but you will need careful budgeting (look at Financielle or cash stuffing methods). If you find after a couple of months it isn’t working, you can rework a new frugal and realistic budget and see how much you will save under that and whether it is still worth it.

Hell yeah, I would do this. Having an end goal time limit makes it doable because you have a specific goal in mind and you know its not going to last forever which makes it infinitely more bearable.

I would treat it like a family game/challenge and I would make goal charts and note off when you've hit various targets. Treat like it's a fun challenge rather than a miserable cutting back exercise. How you frame something in your mind is really important and if you view it as a punishment you'll be tempted to dip out.

I’m a single mum, earning NMW and this is around what we live on after bills etc. it’s definitely doable and I think having a goal in sight might even make it an enjoyable challenge. I love finding ways to save money each month 😁 Good luck, OP!

Yes, I would do it, we did similar. Without the foreign holiday, and shared one small, old car. We prioritised space. Two years isn't long for such a big gain.

Do it.

But don’t holiday. Look at all the areas you can seriously tackle - bills and food. And seriously get to selling and decluttering EVERYTHING.

If you want it to work you both have to equally committed. It has the potential to break the relationship if only one of you is making the sacrifices and the other keeps punching holes in the boat.

It is really, really hard to be this frugal. Under restraint we naturally have “oh fuck it” splurges, and that’s just normal human nature. It helps if the fuck it moments work for both of you (like a cheap bottle of wine) but there will probably be times you make each other cross. Try an both reflect and learn together

You need to minimise temptation.
How you do this is something you work out personally. For me, I stopped window shopping, and literally looked down when I passing displays. Other people window shop as a form of cheap, free entertainment. There can be a learning curve to find what works and that involves making mistakes.

Plan ahead. Bring a flask of coffee to the places where you would be tempted by a cafe or vending machine. Bring a book or crossword to places where boredom makes you spendy. Cook ahead so you have a ready meal for the night you’re tired and want a takeaway.

Lock away credit cards and cancel an overdraft if you have that facility on a debit card. Some people find it easier to use cash where possible. But there can be advantages to staying out of shops or to using the hand held scanners so you can control the bottom line.

I think it’s much harder to do this to save money, than when you just don’t have the money to begin with. If you have an unexpected medical bill, you eat beans or skip meals when the money isn’t there. When it’s your savings, you dip in. So realistically if the figures say two years, you’re probably looking at three.

As a single person saving for a house I've lived a frugal life for afew years.
I live on approximately £1000 per month including all bills.
Things like shopping at the right time in the supermarket helps. Then its just all the usual stuff like takeaways and expensive coffees.
I've also chosen to not risk my savings. So rather than put my money in stocks and shares with some risk but higher interest I've used Isas which are usually 4% interest and tax free.
House prices seem to be steady at the moment.
The new ones in my area are just not selling

Yes go for it. I would also see if there is something that you can do working from home. For instance, lionbridge are a company where you work from home verifying Internet stuff. Pay isn't great, but it is steady work and can be done at any time of day. Also look for anything you can sell from home, like old toys, to put into the having fun fund. It's not going to get you enough to make a difference on savings, but you can show the kids that if they get rid of old stuff they don't want, they can have more days out or better presents.

The question is, what are you reducing from to £850, and what are you giving up to be able to do it? You've said about birthdays and Xmas, but it isn't clear how this is going to impact your lifestyle.
50k over 2 years is £480/week. Presumably you were already saving some of that?
I think if you're used to being able to go for lunch when you want, buy a new top when you fancy it, get your nails done etc then it's hard to cut back like that and you might need to give yourselves treat allowance every 6m or something to look forward to and keep your motivation up.

Go for it. Go through all your expenditure and see where you can economise. Jettison anything you dont really need, like foreign holidays and expensive days out. Walking in the country is free. Parks are free. Make your own packed lunches.
A while ago I went through my finances and decided I would stop spaffing money on pointless crap. First month I save £200!!
Im trying to help my 35 year old son to do the same. He has a large income but terrible with money and owes a lot in debts.
Its definitely worth it in the long run 😀

Do it.

also look at other ways you can make money as a side hustle around childcare. You could do online work like surveys on Prolific which gets min wage from home. You could buy and sell on eBay if you have experience in a particular niche.

Definitely. You will be surprised at how expert you become at making ends meet. Your future living standards are sufficiently important - IF you are both committed to it.

My ds won a scholarship to an independent school leaving me to pay half fees. I've been frugal (an understatement) for nearly seven years. I'm still in the black with 4 months to go.

You'll cope. 🙂

Absolutely do it. It’s worth it for your long term future. As some people have pointed out with holidays and soft play - you might even be able to go further and hit your goal sooner.

I'd definitely tighten the belts. There may be lots of things you can trim if yout sit down and carefully budget. I mean Christmas presents for a start ... I never spend that kind of money on my DC and they are teens. It's about £100 max and if they want something big like an xbox, then the whole extended family contribute and that's their only present. When they were young I bought a lot of stuff on ebay (post Xmas is a good time to buy !) Which saved a lot of money too.
It seems the only way forward for you really to do this saving

I’d do it but perhaps extend by 6 months so you get a bit extra each year for Christmas and birthdays

Yes I’d do it as long term the benefits to the whole family will outweigh the challenges of living frugally.

Of course it is doable, many live on a lot less and it is only for 2 Years. Use the Sun newspaper holidays to take the children away for a break and there really is no need to be spending so much on young children's birthday and Christmas presents.