Any ideas on what to do with £200,000 inheritance

[LucyLoo1972]

as the title really, I will receive an inheritance of £200,000 and wondered whether people had any ideas about what would be sensible to do with it.

we dont have any debts to pay off. Some work is needed on our house - maybe £15K but other than that what would be a good plan to do with it. me and DH are both 53.

OP I am sorry you are in such a difficult and unhappy situation,

I’m not sure how soon you will receive the money but to begin with I would ‘park’ it safely.

Which is £20k in an ISA
£50k in premium bonds
The rest in high interest savings accounts: look on MSE for the best rates. Do not put more than £85k in each account.

Reasons: Any interest you earn over £1k is taxed, except for interest in an ISA, and Premium Bond winnings are not taxed.
Money up to £85k in any one bank is safe if that bank collapses.

Do not put one penny in a joint account and for now do not spend one penny of it on your shared house or on a shared holiday, or even household food/ bills

Talk to a solicitor about where you stand, including confirming how to ring fence your inheritance. Because I think it is the case that an inheritance is not seen as a ‘marital asset’ as long as none has been use for your joint family benefit or been put in a joint account

I would see a solicitor before you receive the money , and have an account in your sole name open ready for the money to go into.

Then talk about divorce. Find out from the solicitor what your prospects would be, financially. How much equity from the house you would get etc. Go with as many details you know of your H’s financial situation. Does he have a pension / savings etc.

Also take all your own details: do you have any savings, pension, will you get a state pension, your stake in your Mum’s flat etc.

Then talk to a pensions advisor.

These are all practical steps to protect you and gain knowledge.

Because really your most important decision is how would you like to live and how can you do it. Do you want to live free from your H and divorce ? How will you live if you divorce? How will you live if you cannot work? How can you best get better and recover from being unwell?

Then use the money in the best way to support your mental health and future happiness.

Maybe go somewhere else that doesn’t hold any memories for you and make some new ones? Canary Islands are nice, have some nice beaches and sun to just relax in and the only thing to worry about is what you’re going to drink by the pool all day!

Without knowing the full story, you absolutely should use this money to leave your husband.

I had a coercively controlling partner and I was like a husk of a person. Since leaving 6 years ago, I have become much, much happier. Sometimes getting out of a bad situation can make a huge difference.

Maybe you could find inexpensive accommodation and use the money to move out for a time while receiving therapy. Alternatively, I know you said that you don't feel able to visit the flat in Italy, but could you just go and live there for a while away from your husband? You could consider Better help or similar and just have a rest.

Edit: all of this combined with 'parking' the money safely as suggested by the poster above.

thank you. thats good advice. im honestly at a loss as to what the best thign to do is. I blame myself for all of this. I allowed my husband to have us live in ways that were not healthy.

at the moment I pay all the bills and have no income so that is al coming out of the inheritance. I need ot ask my husabnd to transfer money for the bills to my account at least.

we've never had a joint account and for a long time he has been earning whilst I have only earns small amounts because I was studying for my phd and got a smaller amount as a scholarship - getting the scholarship was very very rare so we were blessed in him not having ot support me financially. his ways with money were pretty insane.

yes - going ot stay in italy is oemthign ive consodered. its spectacularly beautiful there.

im so much of a husk that it is difficult to convey- im almost a zombie and I was producing world class research before my breakdwon

ive thought of staying in an airbnb for a while. my mum worked so so hard for her money im so sad I am having to send it on therapy which is extrotnately expensive and accommodation. I ahd so many dreams of what we could do with this money. but the biggest kicker is ive not bene able to work in the academic research I worked os hard ot produce amazing work in. id Orem from a background o poverty and trauma and worked my butt off to get an outstanding phd from an elite university.i had a postdoc job to go to and then broke down completely from stress which wasexacerabted by my husabnd. I lost eventing id worked for and I invested os much in my marriage to my own detriment.

The reality is that you are unlikely to leave your husband and just start afresh due to the health and mental health issues.

As such I would immediately use this money for something useful in the first instance. Spend £25k getting the house completely cleared of the hoarding junk even if this means moving the lot into storage for your husband to go and look through at his leisure. Let him keep five sets of clothes, four pairs of shoes, coat, computer, small box of anything deeply sentimental. That is literally it. Pay for a year's storage and tell him that after that it's his responsibility if he hasn't sorted through it but that it is never coming back into the house. He will be solely responsible for the storage costs after 12 months. Then with the rest of the £25k get the house deep cleaned and painted and new flooring plus replace things that are in desperate need of replacement - in all likelihood you will need a new sofa etc if he's been hoarding.

It will be £25k well spent. It will give you then mental headspace to start to feel better and its an investment in your property which is an asset you half own.

Then use the rest to leave once you feel better. You will be able to sell the house for more since it will no longer be a hoarders den.

It sounds like your 'frugal' husband has got into your head, if you feel you can't spend any of this money.

It also sounds like your mother may have died recently? Could grief possibly be contributing to your struggles? Surely your mother would want you to be a happy and healthy person.

There may be a way back for you. All is not necessarily lost. The only way that you can regain happiness and the ability to work again is if you invest in your mental health. This inheritance is a gift that can enable you to do this.

Use your inheritance to leave your husband and then you can stop making threads on MN about how unhappy you are in your marriage. You’ve been given so much advice previously. You need to leave for the sake of your mental health

If you are passionate about interior design and architecture I can understand how living in house with a hoarder has severely impacted your mental health and the ability to recover. I once moved into a rental with the most hideous (yet functional) curtains. The first thing I did was take them down and when questioned by a friend (I didn’t have any money to replace them) I explained I couldn’t look at them for another minute as they would make me feel awful and the “hurt my soul”. She quite rightly told me I was being dramatic. I was, I was young, but it also made me realised just how affected I am about the environment around me, but especially my home. I haven’t read any of your other threads, but what stood out to me is that it would be difficult to recover if you continue to live as you do. Imagine living in a tiny house with plants and no hoarding and feeling well enough to travel to the apartment in Italy and maybe starting to earn some money again through some aspect of your previous career. £200,000 is an incredible amount of money which could truly help you heal. Good luck OP.

yes - I been to think like him.

sometimes I second guess myself and think the hoarding is not that bad - its not like hoarders tv or anything like that. its just overwhelming and means there is not space for my tings easily

I know im sorry I do this

she died three years ago now but it was very complex grief becasue she did suddenly and our relationship had been impacted by my mental health - she was not an easy parent and was quite abusive in some ways especially when I was a child

the carpets need replacing as they are threadbare but its not so bad it needs a new sofa and it is relatively clean

Buy your own lovely little house and get divorced

Get some headspace. Go on a retreat for a week. (Either an official one, or just a stay in a nice hotel by yourself, where you can have nice walks and some mental headspace. ) then think about how this distance/ environment makes you feel. If you like being by yourself in a calm uncluttered environment, then work out how to best achieve this more permanently.

Take this idea to your therapist.
You have the means to escape
For now keep the money separate and do not invest in current house

If you're not sure, OP, just invest it sensibly and it will be there when you need it. Maybe to facilitate an early retirement? Speak to an IFA.

I think it would be worth getting some legal advice regarding marital assets and whether your inheritance would be shared upon divorce.

thank you - yes thats important. my husband says he wouldnt take it anyway becasue my mum gave it to me. but who knows when thigns get difficult. its all so so sad its even come to this. this was only one of many stressors in the marriage but I didnt realise environment matters so much

its nterestign you say not ot invest in current house. its difficult to do that anyway because my husbands junk makes home improvements difficult as its had for decorators and workmen to work here easily

I have stayed elsewhere and it does calm my nervous system somewhat although the terribel thoughts in my mind never ver stop - its insane

The limit has increased from £85,000 to £120,000 now.

Having read many of your other threads my advice is to leave your marriage and set yourself up in your own place.