Can UC make me put child in nursery before 3?

[Didibluex]

Hi all,

Looking for some advice. I’m a single mum to two young dc (youngest almost 2).

I was initially planning on going back to work last year but youngest ds has had recurrent tonsilitis (10 times since the summer with most requiring antibiotics including IV). He’s also had two chest infections in that period with the last resulting in him being admitted to hospital for oxygen treatment. He always gets a petechial rash with the tonsilitis so has had numerous blood tests at A&E

ENT have said they won’t remove his tonsils until 2 and he’s also been referred to paediatrics for immunology panel before they remove them (which he had before Christmas but they couldn’t get a sample so waiting on that). On the other hand, my elder son is very rarely ill despite being in school full time and wasn't as a baby/toddler.

I have 3 monthly meetings with UC and work coach is very nice and understanding but I keep getting sent notes on journal about childcare and asked which nurseries I’ve put him down for. I’ve put him on the waiting list for the local ones.

So my question is, can they make you put them in nursery before 3? I’m aware at 3 he will need to be in nursery as I will need to work up to 30 hours.

It’s stressing me out as he gets ill so often. I can’t imagine what it will be like when he starts nursery. Last month he had tonsilitis twice and the antibiotics he’s prescribed are 10 days each. He has to have them every 6 hours and no eating 2 hours before or 1 hour after. When he has it, he often refuses to eat and fluids are hard to get into him unless he has calpol/nurefon and difflam spray. He’s also up almost every hour crying during the night when he has it.

Just to add, his dad has moved abroad and not involved (his choice). My family all work full time so they can’t help with childcare.

Any advice greatly appreciated!

Then you will be happy for Op to be claiming them then as she meets your threshold of what benefits are for.

Hi OP. I'm a welfare benefits specialist, I obviously understand the validity of your question/concerns. One poster who suggested the prompts from UC may be because of shortage of nursery places does have a good point- there are often concerns about this, but you have already placed your child on waiting lists I believe so just keep them updated with this. Going forward, in my experience supporting clients your best approach is to continue being fully transparent with your work coach; health concerns and care then required for your child WILL be taken into account as your agreed UC commitments can be looked at in difficult circumstances.

Thanks so much @LilyBunch25 . My work coach is really understanding. If he has the tonsillectomy soon then I will happily put him in nursery before 3. X

The difference is you give back.

Hmm and how much do you think it would cost for a child this sick to be professionally cared for full time?

No they don't. After three you will be made to look for work if available.

Also how often will he be at nursery if he is that sick? No employer will take on a mum if she is constantly not able to come in due to child sickness. He will get free nursery at three which would be good for him.

It can be really difficult dealing with UC when you have a child with medical issues. I rarely had the same work coach and never seemed to get an understanding one to the point my son's hospital sent them a letter which made them back off.

They can't make you put him in nursery before 3.

playingvideogames I think you are being rather unkind here .OP child has been very ill and she needs to be with them .ATM there is a strange vibe that "staying at home" means some kind of holiday for Mum.I assume by your user name you are not averse to some pastimes involving screens?

That’s what I’m thinking too. I’ve seen some great jobs recently I would love to do but no doubt I would be sacked very quickly given the amount of time I would have to take off when he’s ill.

I’m preying things will improve once he has his tonsils removed but they won’t do it until they've ruled out it’s not immune related.

They have the funded hours in place to ensure people return to work, but as it stands it’s 3 but expect it to change.

Your best option will be to look for a role that is no more than 20hrs per week (with your child in nursery for 30 hrs - if you can afford to increase nursery hours to 35hrs you could be contracted for 25 hrs) with a policy of flexitime that allows you to work more than your contracted hours (ie every minute your child is in nursery, less hopefully-minimal travel time) in the weeks when your DC is healthy and to use up the banked time with additional days off when your child is unwell. Jobs like this do exist, but you need to focus on industries where you are unlikely to have a tight deadline or immovable event that coincides with you needing unplanned time off. Researching which of the roles you are qualified for and are likely to be available in your area might fit these requirements is something you could be doing now as part of your work-preparatiom activity. One former colleague I had whose child had a complex lifelong health condition requiring regular unplanned and planned hospital visits had a job which was very suitable for this as the work involved researching information from online sources from lots of different organisations and using that information to compile documents that were specific to our organisation's activities. There were rarely any specific deadlines beyond a broad understanding of the rate that the work would be done across the year so it wasn't a problem for her to work full-on in some weeks and hardly at all in others.

Thanks very much thats very helpful, I will look into it x

Until the child is 3 you're not obliged to seek/take work but you'll be expected to engage with a process to ensure you're 'work ready' once the youngest is 3.

If your child continues to need more care after 3 then would they be eligible for DLA?

DLA and 35 hours care would also switch of work requirements.

They can expect you to work/earn, but they can't make you send your child to nursery - those two things are separate.

The OP was presumably in work before she had her child and plans to go back.
I am sure she'll be giving plenty "back".