Payment for executorship

[TheBeatenGeneration]

Not quite sure where to put this, or how to put this. We had a family death, the named executor in the will wasn't happy to carry out the function, so another family member stepped in. We never discussed payment for the role. Between the family/beneficiaries we have dealt with the funeral, house clearance, sale etc. One of the beneficiaries hasn't done anything. I can understand that this may have caused some resentment or unease, but the executor is now asking for a payment.

I was under the impression that family executors got paid for reasonable expenses and so forth, but couldn't really be paid, or expected to be paid for the role. Partly as this could further tensions/issues etc. I've been very involved in the process (it's broken me as these things do), but to me has really been through loyalty for the deceased. I have done what I can do.

I'm very grateful to have even been named in the will, others from the off have treated assets as some kind of birthright. The will was incredibly fair to the beneficiaries with an equal distribution of assets, the sums are not meagre.

While I realise this has been a burden for the administrator of the estate. I find it slightly grubby, not entirely sure why! Has anyone been through something similar and agreed on a figure?

I think it really depends on the size of the estate, but in my case I agreed to £6k payment for professional administrators (solicitor and accountant).

On top of this, my sibling did pretty much everything involving our parent’s death admin, the complicated funeral arrangements, sorting out the effects, the difficult house (and contents) sale, the car sale, related administrative work … it was their choice but it took a huge chunk of time out of their family life as the death happened in another country.

I gave my sibling quite a lot of money out of my share. I think it was worth it.

A bit late once they’ve done it. You negotiate this upfront, surely

Done it three times now. Never got any payment for it other than expenses reimbursed

Expenses related to the estate only. I'm sure there was a recent-ish ruling where a lay executor tried to charge an hourly fee and it was rejected.
I wouldn't pay.

Expenses only for a lay executor.

https://www.blakemorgan.co.uk/im-an-executor-do-i-get-a-fee/

Technically how did you give money out of your share?

I instructed the Administrators to do it. Saying that, I was one of just two residuary beneficiaries (the other being my sibling), so it was not complicated by, for example, another beneficiary raising objections.

I didn’t have to do it, but I felt it was fair. My DH thinks I was over-generous, but I can sleep at night knowing I repaid my sibling’s time and efforts. (Plot twist: sibling and I don’t even get on, truth be told. They’re a bit of a knob.)

The thing is when you start to talk about re-distributions, it brings up loads of other problems issues. And people start to cost for roles. 'Oh I had a loss of earnings' etc. I have read some advice on this, that it's atypical for executors to get payment, but not unheard of. What I have read is that you can put a payment clause in the will for a future administrator if you wish.

Our situation is slightly different. It can be reframed as one of the beneficiaries (the one that hasn't contributed) wanting to genuinely compensate the other beneficiaries. This does still open a can of worms as to who has done what, and what that contribution is worth, and having to talk ratios of contributions etc. It's indelicate, and crass in my mind.

From what I read, a beneficiary can give up a partial share, and this must be entirely voluntarily with no coercion. Which is actually difficult if there are some emotional pleas floating about and subtle and not so subtle pressures. Hence my entire reluctance. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if a conversation is started about redistribution, someone will pipe up with: 'what about such and such, they should get something.' etc.

It's been fairly eye opening discussing this with others. Some are absolutely insulted and exclaim 'WTF! I'd tell them where to stick it'. Others are sympathetic. And others start to recount their own horror stories and pour their grudges out. There's also the weighing up whether you value future relationships etc etc.

I have found it hurtful, and have wasted days looking into this and worrying. Also advised that I should seek legal advice etc etc.

I agree, OP, that if you have more than two people involved in any discussion around money & wills that it ends up in an unholy mess pretty quickly.

In your case, I think saying, ‘I would prefer to stick to the letter of the law: final answer’ is entirely reasonable.

If any of the other beneficiaries wishes to offer the executor a few bob out of their own pockets, then they can do so. But that’s entirely voluntary. I think people should, as individuals with free will, do what feels right for them.

I did the executor role after my Mum died and DH helped me because I was grieving so much. I didn't bother claiming expenses because it was just a few stamps and parking at court. My sister's were grateful to DH and bought him a nice Waterman ink pen. He was very happy with that gesture.

My dsis is my executor and my will pays her 5k as a thank you for her efforts.

I think that's fairly normal. Being an executor involves a fair amount of work.

Having a charging clause in your Will with fees agreed in advance sounds at least more sensible.

I would not make anyone executor who wasn’t also going to benefit from the end result. So I’d give them £10k or so as a thanks in my will.
else people just pay a solicitor to do it which is expensive for the donkey work side of it.
I don’t think it’s grubby if say 2 siblings inherit from parents and one does all the house clearing and legal prep for them to get a bit more?

That's not a payment clause, it's surely just a bequest.

I have my sister as exec and have left her £5k. Her kids get most of the rest.

My mum made me and my cousin execs. Cousin got £5k, I'm a residual beneficiary so I get a lot more than her. We're still dealing with the estate, and pay ourselves expenses only - we have to check the house now and then, it's three hours away, so we claim petrol, overnight stay, food. Twice a year.

You pay professionals, not friends or family.

But you can gift money to anyone you want. My sister and I are going to gift my cousin a bit more when the house sells, because we think mum would have left her more if she'd known how much work it was/the real value of money.

I guess perhaps it's in the asking or the telling. One beneficiary may suggest a re-balance, or volunteer something. If however beneficiaries demand recompense it has a different vibe. Personally I'd be content with a gesture of gratitude. It's the choppy waters of negotiation that can get tricky. It's not just siblings/beneficiaries affected it is also partners etc.

@TestamentTimes 's remark about more than two people. Yep. Exactly. Already feel this. Three beneficiaries, all with quite different views, barely agreeing/seeing eye to eye on anything.

There is no negotiation. It can only be a gift. You don't negotiate a gift.

And each giver makes their own decision on the gift they give.
No asking, no negotiation.

Follow the will to the letter. Mage gifts from your own money afterwards, if you want to.

If you're going to pay someone you might as well make it a professional, at least then you'd know it was a proper job, the squabbling would stop and you'd have recourse if anything was wrong.