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Find financial and money saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum.

Money matters

My Dad's driving licence has been revoked but....

13 replies

lovecat · 13/06/2008 23:44

he's still driving!

He's 77 and has been diagnosed with the early stages of Alzheimers. Mum and Dad have never had the easiest of relationships, he is a very hard man to live with, nonetheless she appears to view his diagnosis as something he's done to annoy her... but that's a separate issue.

The thing is, my sister went up there to visit and he was still driving around. When she confronted mum over this, her reaction was 'he's given me enough abuse over the DVLA taking his licence away, I'm not going to be the one to tell him to stop'.

To be fair, he has reacted very badly to his diagnosis, blaming her entirely for it (she made him go to the doctors...), but what we need to know is, does she have any legal liability if she knows he's driving when he shouldn't be and something happens (God forbid)?

DH is convinced she'd be culpable if anything happened - he's thinking of the woman who's just gone to prison, who knew her DH was planning the 7/7 bombings but kept quiet - while that's a bit extreme, does he have a point?

And is there anything we should be doing? We're 250 miles away, btw...

OP posts:

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avenanap · 13/06/2008 23:47

Take the car keys away. If he has an accident then he may have major legal problems, your mother would also be liable as she knew that he shouldn't be driving.

It only takes once!

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Bronze · 13/06/2008 23:48

It's hard isn't it when its family but I would say you have to report him. Imagine if he caused an accident. I'm sure they would be fair with him becasue of his condition but it might be the oomph he needs rather than one of his family saying it.

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unknownrebelbang · 13/06/2008 23:49

If he's not got his licence, any insurance would be void.

Can she get the GP to speak to him?

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SlightlyMadSweet · 13/06/2008 23:50

I agree.

He has had his license taken away for a reason.

a) she could be considered to be aiding and abetting?
b) could she live with her conscionce if the worst did happen?

I know it is tough....but scenario b) would be even tougher...

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lovecat · 14/06/2008 15:12

I will tell her. Good point re. insurance.

I will also tell her that if she doesn't put a stop to it (hide keys etc) that I'll report him.

I did suggest (only half-jokingly) that she trade the car in for a new one and not tell him, the way his mind is deteriorating (sadly rapidly) he would never know...

Thanks for the replies, I'm finding it hard to believe that Mum would condone/turn a blind eye to this, she's always been absolutely upright - and very condemnatory of those who aren't! - it seems that since Dad's diagnosis she's given up on him - whenever she talks about him it's as an irritation, whereas before she was the one making excuses for his mad unreasonable behaviour and telling us all we were over-reacting.

Wish I didn't live so far away...

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nannyL · 14/06/2008 19:25

he is now driving uninsured

yes for the sake of us innocent people on the road you MUST ensure the car keys are taken away before something much worse happens

my dad is currently temporarily unable to drive... as Dr has said so, his insurance would be invalid if he did drive

have been having long discussions with my GP boss about it (not that my dad would dream of driving until dr says he can again) but he is not insured, end of, and must NOT be allowed to continue

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missorinoco · 14/06/2008 19:49

one way to put it re insurance is to point out to him that if someone hits him and he is blameless, as he is uninsured he will be in trouble anyway and prob be prosecuted anyway.

good luck

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nkf · 14/06/2008 19:56

Thing is people often don't believe they will have accidents so that argument might fail.
Why not call one of the charities for the elderly. I found Help the Aged invaluable when I was dealing with elderly relatives?
Good luck.

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nkf · 14/06/2008 19:56

Sory, no. It was Age Concern but I think both have advice arms.

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bentneckwine1 · 16/06/2008 13:07

Hi

We had a similar situation last year when my dad's licence was revoked due to ill health and dementia type concerns.

He didn't handle the news well at all and our doctor's advice was to have someone move the car far away where he would not find it and hide the keys. My mum was terminally ill at that point and so would never be driving the car again either. I guess it will be harder for you if your mum needs to keep the car to drive herself.

You also need to consider that no licence means no insurance which I think would have an effect on the road tax and mot as you need to supply insurance certificate to be issued with road tax disc and mot cert.

What I found shocking about my dad's case was that we drew the GP's attention to our concerns over his driving in late April. The GP reported the diagnosis to the DVLA immediately and then a few weeks later dad received a letter from the DVLA telling him that his licence would be revoked at the end of July. Dad's point was that if they consider him to be unfit to drive then they would have taken his licence away immediately. To be honest I agreed...I mean what did they think was going to happen to his driving at midnight on 31st July that wasn't already happening!!

In the end dad gave in and never drove again after that date but he refused to send his licence back abd has it hidden somewhere in the loft!! I think the DVLA have been pretty lax not to chase up the return of the paper copy.

Hope your dad settles soon.

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laidbackinengland · 16/06/2008 13:09

He is breaking the law and as others have said - he will not have valid insurance.

Is there someone who could tell him this whose opinion he wounld respect, ie. a good friend, local policeman, GP etc ?

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bentneckwine1 · 16/06/2008 13:17

Forgot to mention that my dad has Huntington's Disease which is an almost automatic no no as far as driving is concerned due to involuntary movements etc.

Some health professional (can't remember who) suggested to dad that the first step might be the DVLA requesting that dad sit a special driving test that establishes if someone with his condition was safe to drive. In the end that didn't happen and he was simply asked to hand back his licence which he was angry at because he had never had an accident or points for anything. He had driven since he was 17 and was now 56 and had a clean licence.

I think if he had sat a test and then failed it that dad might have accepted that better and been more reasonable about it all - rather than simply receiving a letter in the post asking for the licence back.
Maybe it might be worth asking if your dad can do some type of test to 'put his mind at rest' over the justification for the decision.

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miamla · 16/06/2008 13:51

very similar scenario as my grandfather. he kept genuinely forgetting that he wasn't allowed to drive anymore so my uncle, who still lived with him and shared the car with him, used to remove a vital part of the car so it didn't work. so my grandfather would try a start the car, find it wouldn't and go for a walk instead. but obviously whenever my uncle needed it he could just reconnect whatever bit he'd taken out

this all worked fine until he forgot one day, grandfather went for a drive, got a taxi back home (because he'd forgotten that he'd driven to the shops). It took a fair few hours for us to find the car! my uncle never forgot again!

in the end, my uncle bought a new car and my grandfather never even thought to try and drive it. he did fly a plane after he was banned from driving but that's another story!