We are £50k in debt, not inc mortgage ...

[hidingmynamesake]

NC
I'm doing low/no spend Jan (and every rnonth going forward)
Looking at a second job .. that will take me to a 55hour working week
Cutting back where we can
Paying off more than the monthly repayments where we can but within reason and certainly not ££ every month, we still need to live

.. but that is not going to make any significant differences in the short term. A second job could bring in net £400pcm, cutting back to save £2-£3 on things like cheaper non branded items, saving a few hundred a month from cutting back ... that is nothing in the scheme of £50k.

We need something like £10k winfalls to start throwing chunks at the debt. That is not going to happen. Slogging away, going without (literally) and paying off very small amounts at around £400-£500 extra a month is going to take YEARS.

Feeling so so so down

This sounds similar to the situation I was in previously. We have it down to a few thousand now- used debt planning apps as previously mentioned and we did take some equity out of the house and pay more monthly to the mortgage which was way cheaper than the loans as obviously it's a longer term. We now overpay the mortgage now that we have a handle on it.

Blimey. How old are your kids?

If it took you years to build the debt it is, unfortunately, likely to take years to repay. You've had lots of helpful suggestions above. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Are your DC adults now?

If DH is burying his head in the sand and won’t take on more work, is he at least being frugal and sticking to a spending plan?

Have you thought about a trust deed? Honestly this is so much stress. Listen it’s only money, not the end of the world. Please speak to a financial helper p

OP have you already borrowed against the mortgage once/extended it as its unusual at 52 to still have 17 years to go? 300k is a big mortgage too, to still be servicing in your 50's? It sounds like you might generally be over extended borrowing wise.

How was the debt run up in the first place as this is quite key in the onward management- cars? Holidays? Big chunk stuff like this, or was it more general living beyond means and crept up gradually, spending a few hundred too much each month over a few years?

Personally speaking, if able, put it on the mortgage. But, still scrimp and save like mad, put it into a bank account and hopefully use it pay it off your mortgage a bit earlier. The amount of interest on credit cards etc is so much more isn't it?

Deffo worth talking to a debt advisor, nothing at all to lose there. IVA's can be a good thing at times but I don't suppose that applies is shared debt and will affect your credit rating I presume.

And to answer, yes a Debt Management Plan may affect your credit rating but there are other things you can do, the first one is challenging the affordability of the loans as mentioned upthread.

3 charities that give free advice are Stepchange, Christians Against Poverty and Citizens Advice.

I would get together all of the information you have on your debts and outgoings and talk to them, making it clear that you do not want to affect your credit score.

Hey OP, that sounds really tough.
If you have three kids, could two of them share a room and you rent one out? You are entitled to £7,500 a year tax-free under the rent a room scheme. It might be better than you wearing yourself out with a second job.

Also have you downloaded the Olio free food app? If you're feeding five people every day it could really make a difference. It's not means-tested. Some people use it just to stop food being thrown away.

Sorry if these are things you've already thought of, I just didn't want to read your post and not try to think of ways to help.

Be aware that if you have equity in your house OP and go into an IVA, if the IVA becomes suddenly unaffordable for whatever reason, illness, divorce etc they will apply to make you bankrupt and evict you from your home.

Do not take out an IVA without exploring every option available.

Another vote for speaking to step change they can consolidate debit to one payment and make it easier. Make sure the debits you are paying off first make the most sense.

0% - move them around if needed or pay off before they tend to jump to crazy APR.
Tackle highest APR first and work down.

Do you have any unused items in the house you can sell on Vinted or Facebook? Kids if they grown out of clothing or other clothing you don’t ever wear.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things, good luck OP if your target for this year

Your husband needs to stop burying his head in the sand and realise you have a very big issue. You’re both in your 50’s, you have 350k debt, and he doesn’t feel like doing anything useful or practical about it regarding increasing income. You are assuming you’ll both be healthy up to and post retirement age, just to service that mortgage, which sorry, is a hope not a guarantee. It’s great you’re trying to do thing to help, and in 10 years you’ll have been able to pay it off by working day and night jobs, but your husband is a selfish arse expecting you to do that alone. He’s also a selfish arse for expecting you to be the one who does all the moving shenanigans around the interest free credit moves. What happens if the answer is no one day? Any option to downsize, as you said the kids are adults? If one of you becomes unwell, the whole lot crashes down. He needs to get more involved and fast

Honestly at your age with huge mortgage and debt I would seriously look at downsizing or moving to a slightly cheaper area.

You will then be able to use mortgage reduction in paying off credit and then mortgage before your 70. You can’t work 55-60hrs in your 60s

If you are both in your 50's, is it safe to assume your children are heading towards adulthood and independence? Is downsizing and moving to a cheaper area possible?

ETA crossposted with @Caspianberg

And I do totally understand you feeling down. This must be so overwhelming, especially as you appear to be doing the majority of it alone.

Please do speak to one of the 3 charities I mentioned above. So many people have similar debt, you’re doing the right thing by trying to tackle it

I would absolutely look into downsizing to pay off the debt - I’d rather have less physical, but more breathing, space! Lodger is always suggested but it’s tricky having a stranger in plus with three children I can’t see many people knocking the door down to take you up on the offer so I think selling and moving into a smaller place might be best bet? If you go for a new build type thing you will avoid pitfalls of older houses (like sudden new roof/heating bills!) and get something energy efficient plus so many offer free stamp duty or other incentives which might help the process?
it’s not fair for you to exhaust yourself with two jobs however whilst your husband ostriches through life. He can’t just hide from reality; can he ask for a pay rise? Consider a new job? Consider shifting bills or banks to take advantage of money offers? He needs to be doing SOMETHING

When you say joint debt, is each card/loan in both of your names? If not (and yes being lazy) I’d be tempted to pay any off in my name only to relieve some stress.

The mortgage however would be more of a worry to me. What happens if one of you has to stop working? Do you have good insurance for such things?

But do you know why you have the debt? What has the money been spent on? Is it that your monthly obligations exceed your salary, and you have been relying on the cards to make up the shortfall, or is it expensive hobbies?

What is the logic of taking unsecured debt and putting your home at risk by making it secured debt? Thats a bad idea.

What are your salaries?

Hi OP
I’d recommend heading to moneysavingexpert - you’ll find some great advice on there and the debt free wannabe forum is great.
I was in about £20,000 debt in my 20s and had to take on a second job. It was miserable, yes, but I learnt a lot of lessons along the way and am thankfully better with money as a result.
I don’t think it’s fair if you are the only one taking on a second job, unless your OH is on board in other ways.

Unfortunately I’m not sure the OP is coming back.

If you need good credit score, I agree stepchange isn’t best solution for you atm. If debt is spread across different creditors, you’re paying interest multiplied. Best solution would be to take loan to pay off as many loans as you can and pay back to one creditor. It lowers interest a lot. Obviously if deal is better.
second solution is to remortgage covering this debt

Debt consolidation via a remortgage should be an absolute last resort, especially if your existing debt is on 0% cards. £50k added to a mortgage on a rate of 3.75%* (for example) over a 20 year term (which would be maximising it if you’re already in your 50s) would cost you around £20k in interest.

I know it’s appealing to see it ‘vanish’ into your mortgage balance but if you can keep it on the 0% balance transfers you’ll be much better off in the long run.

*3.75% is me being generous.

I’d look at a second job yes, but be careful you’re not burning yourself into the ground. If your DH cannot face a second job then he needs to pick up more at home. Assume moving somewhere cheaper is out of the question? I think a second job will help and something i’d thinking of doing this year to chip away at mortgage.