Encouraging myself to stop spending unnecessarily…

[crumpetwithcheese]

Hello,

I’ve gone through 2025 cutting down “unnecessary” bills such as subscriptions and being mindful where my money goes in terms of shopping/bills etc, however the two things I haven’t managed to curb is spending on coffee shop treats (Greggs, Starbucks etc) when out and about for convenience and buying clothes that frankly aren’t needed, due to already having plenty in mine and DP wardrobe. DS (7yo) a bit different as he regularly needs new bits due to growing so much and going up a size since the summer.

Id hugely appreciate any advice for curbing spending where not needed and being more mindful of it please.

We are saving for our first home deposit, I just get a dopamine hit apparently from the spending frivolously 🙈

Thank you very much!

Things that have helped me are:

1. Asking myself what emotion the impulse is feeding. Eg is it boredom, sadness, anger, needing distraction etc then taking time to address and acknowledge that emotion rather than using buy stuff to suppress it
2. Telling myself that yes, I can buy it if I really want but I have to wait 48 hours and if I still want it then, I will allow myself to buy it. Usually by 48 hours I have realised I dont even want it. But by not forbidding it, it does not make it even more desired and the time lapse fixes the dopamine need

The best thing that helps me stop spending unnecessarily is to put the money into a savings account whenever I find myself browsing online shopping.

I found myself idly scrolling through Look Fantastic, wondering what sort of skin care indulgence I could treat.myself with. Then got a grip of myself and transferred the £15 i was prepared to spend on eye cream (i never use it, wtf was i thinking) into a savings account. I get the dopamine hit these days from seeing the savings add up.

I write everything down too. All the spends. And try and spend less the next month. Sometimes I can't be bothered with the effort of writing down my spend on whatever frivolity which makes me realise I don't really want it.

I used to do online shopping and leave things in a basket to think about for 48hrs but that would sit with me and make me feel pressured to buy somwthing, anything else. So I put the money in savings instead and then I don't have it to spend.

I feel this. Also sell some old stuff and buy from vinted for 7 year old

Thank you for your replies! This sounds great as usually it is just boredom! I find myself browsing online and adding things to my basket then getting distracted and not even bothering to purchase as it’s boredom more than anything so I’m going to do a strict 48hr rule over something.

I love Vinted! I’ve made £70 since New Year just going through clothes I bought for the winter and haven’t worn including an impulse buy coat so I’m going to keep on top of this too. My problem usually lies when the money is in the Vinted wallet I end up thinking “technically it’s free” when I see something instead of withdrawing as soon as into savings!

@moulinrougecancan@cosimnotwhereitsat@MiddlingMarch

Apologies Mumsnet app isn’t letting me tag each of you to the corresponding reply!

That sounds good! I will do that as I find myself out of boredom looking on Sephora or researching a new cleanser or something that is absolutely not needed just because the money is there!
I have managed to find a good face serum for around £17 instead of paying £60+ on Estée Lauder ANR which has also tackled my rosacea! So that’s a win!

Other than things like underwear I buy basically all my clothes from Vinted. I use only the money in the Vinted wallet, so it's not costing me anything "extra" and I'm getting the buzz out of spending (and finding a bargain!).

I have a bank card that I take about with me (for emergencies) but it is really hard to get to. I don't have payments set up on my phone. So I literally can't spend random money without a huge palava which generally puts me off doing so.

I have a Greggs App and put £20 a month onto it. I'm not saying I don't ever top up but it keeps me aware of how my spending there adds up. And you get 1 free coffee after 9 paid ones!

Set a budget and allocate yourself an amount for treats and clothes, and don’t go over it. Lots of help budgeting on social media too. I follow a few budgeters on Instagram. I have a spreadsheet with all my outgoings on, and rest goes into specific saving pots. House deposit, Christmas, car etc. You need to set your sights on the end goal. Set a savings target and work out how long until you get there. That will help you keep on track rather than just saving whats left at end of month. Have a look at cashback sites too, a lot on that on instagram I notice.

I start each day intent on not spending anything at all.

I make my lunch to take to work. I keep a small cafetiere and some really good ground coffee at work. Then I don't need anything else.

If I manage to get through the week without any unnecessary spending at all, I reward myself with something small at the weekend.

I have a Monzo bank account and set aside set amounts each month for clothes, Christmas, holidays etc. You could make a rule that if it’s not in there then don’t spend it. I actually had money left over in my
Christmas account this year because I started shopping earlier and spread it out. I didn’t buy anything in the sales! 😝. Am I finally grown up? I have a “ Wintering” account which you could describe as my treats account to get me through the cold season. I have enough in there to book a massage and a facial
or something along those lines. Thats something lovely to look forward to. So far I’ve bought a heated throw and that’s been my favourite purchases of 2025.

I’ve swapped out some of my more expensive cleansers / beauty products for high street versions using Boots Tuesday reductions or ChatGPT to identify the best budget versions. The app
Black Friday was recommended on here and I check periodically for favourites to see if they’re reduced. If I find them with a good reduction I stock up. ( eg some Glossier at TK Max for £5.99 not £25. If you like you can obsess over savings at supermarkets using the Trolley app.

I haven’t bought tons of new clothes but I do let myself buy second hand if its not a duplication of something already own. I’ve worked hard to identify my personal style and have got pretty good at walking away from items that’s are a
bargain but don’t fit my lifestyle. If I’m feeling “ fashion-y “ I’ll play around with outfits in my wardrobe and try and find combinations I haven’t worn before and record them on the Stylebook app. I will probably aim to buy 5 new items or less this year. A friend of mine was looking to buy a new coat because she only has 2 and ones a waterproof. 2 coats!!! I was shocked… I probably have 15.

I could go on but as a big reader I use the library.

I decided to cut back on coffee spend by having a rule that I can't have one if I am on my own, so fine if it is meeting someone or out with husband, but it was starting to become a habit on workdays. What worked for me was deleting all loyalty card apps and every day moving the money I would have spent to my savings account. I am weirdly motivated by not getting loyalty points. If I am with someone else, they can have the points.

I also made sure I never "defer" work by getting a coffee before work and make sure I go straight in. At lunchtime I avoid passing coffee shops or think of £ saving or that I could just get a free coffee when I get back to work. I am enjoying seeing my savings increase.

Sell your DC old clothes on Vinted and aim to only buy his next size up with funds in the Vinted account. You can even get underwear BNWT on there!?! But seriously even if you buy 90% of his clothes on Vinted then it will still be a huge saving.

I do all of these things too and find them really helpful.

I have a spreadsheet where I track every penny I spend sorted into different categories.

It includes a 'Things I wanted and didn't buy' column so at the end of the month I can think I nearly spend an additional £X which I find very motivating.

Leaving things in the basket helps me decide how much I want/need something.

Buy insurance through confused.com and they give you a free hot drink every month for 12 months at greggs on your app and a £20 voucher of your choice. I've done my car for second year and both times they found it cheaper than anywhere else (I do check others). Got a hot choc today for my son with mint & cream🤢 (we won't mention the donuts I bought at the same time🍩)

Unsubscribe from marketing emails - then you won't be as tempted seeing offers/ discounts/ targeted advertising etc.

I find these two things from Martin Lewis MSE helpful

The Mantra:
Do I need it
Can I afford it
Will I use it
Is it worth it
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/stop-spending-budgeting-tool/

The demotivator tool to show how things add up

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/demotivator

Give yourself a small weekly allowance in cash.

Once the cash is gone, you cannot spend any more money on 'treats' or clothes.

Make yourself a 'future house' mood board on Pinterest and add images to it frequently. It will keep your eyes on the prize.

You could also make yourself a 'fashion' mood board on Pinterest and add clothes to that instead of buying them.

@TyneTeasthanks for sharing

I buy a £25 Costa Voucher and see if I can make it last at least two months. It really makes me think twice before I treat myself

I have a 3 time rule, I need to have looked at an item 3 times and still want to buy it.
Can I get it cheaper elsewhere rule? so once I have found something I want to buy I look elsewhere including second hand to compare prices
How much is this worth to me? This is to adjust the need and want element - I might need something but I don't necessarily need it to the point it's worth paying the amount. For example, I have a 4 month old and I get a bit stressed about weight as he's on a low percentile. I want to be to weigh him at home but I don't need to be spending £30 to do so. I've kept an eye on market places and found one for £3 and this price matches my want to weigh him with the I don't really need to weigh him.

Kids clothes, if he is growing quickly do you need to buy everything new and in the next size. We skip some sizes for my daughter especially for things like pjs. Some times they are too big and have to go to one side for when she has grown a bit more but sometimes they fit well enough and we don't need the size in the middle.

The little treats, give yourself and annual budget then work out what that is weekly. You can work out an annual budget by taking the cost and multiply it by 365, 250, 100, 50, 12 for daily, work days, twice a week, weekly and monthly treats. Decide if you are happy with the spend and adjust the frequency to what you would be happy to spend on it a year

I take photos of the things I want to buy instead of buying them. Then I rarely look back at the photos. If I am thinking of a particular item after several days I have a think about if I really want it.

I find having a monthly personal spends budget is really helpful. You decide the amount, and what kind of things it can be used for, and then you just stick to it. Mine covers ‘extras’, so no clothes usually unless completely unnecessary. I find this really works - you do have some money you can spend, and you can save up for more expensive things if you want to.

I buy iced coffee from supermarket and have it in the morning. Or I can take it with me when I’m out. Buy snacks and take them with me when I’m out for long period eg crackers and a babybel, a protein bar.
Re your 7 year old. Maybe friends with older children have hand me downs. Second hand clothing sales can be good for children clothes.

For treats have a set budget per month (or divide per week if it’s easier for you) once it’s gone it’s gone. Get into the habit of taking drinks and snacks with you places to reduce temptation.

for clothes it’s a case of don’t even look, stay off websites and don’t go shopping. Yes dc needs larger things but do that by making a list and sticking to that, they need less than you think in each size because in a year it will be replaced. Sell the clothes they have grown out of if in good condition to help fund new ones

I am a real tightwad when it comes to wasting money like this. And I say wasting deliberately - I will (relatively) happily spend money on things I value, but resent it otherwise. So mindset is a huge factor for me, but I understand not everyone thinks alike...

In terms of tips:

1. Literally do not pass the places that suck you in. Physically divert yourself. I did that when on a diet before - I simply did not even enter the bread aisle of supermarkets.
2. Try this tool to see what your annualised spend is and potentially shock yourself into action? www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/demotivator/