What happens if we split up?

[youredeadtomesteven]

Hi, apologies if not correct thread area for this.

I bought a house with DP of 10 years, this year.
Both first time buyers.

I put in £28k total, he has put in deposit of £5k on paper (I have paid it, he has given me £1k so far). So on the deed of trust, I put in £23k, him £5k.

If we were to split, we would get back our deposit amounts and then split the rest of proceeds when selling…

If i wanted to stay in the property, how would I do that? How much would be ‘enough’ to buy him out/get him off the mortgage?

just thinking as i want to prepare myself if this does occur…

Additionally, we are on a fixed rate mortgage until 2027. If we were to split up before this, could we still sell or do we have to wait until the mortgage term is finished?

Few notes as I don’t want to drip feed:
• I am the breadwinner as it were
• He has mentioned getting his mortgage contributions back if we were to split and me not wanting to sell?
• We both share bills and house expenses 50/50
• I could afford mortgage and bills on my own, but I haven’t had that approved by anyone like a broker. Eg I earn £2.1k and bills/mortgage including food is £1.6k ish.
• No one in my family or his has bought a house so I don’t have anyone close to me to be able to ask and get a clear/correct answer.

many thanks in advance for your responses! :-)

It sounds like you're thinking of splitting up. Otherwise wouldn't you cross that bridge if you came to it ?

Yeap…don’t marry him.

How long ago did you buy? Essentially he's getting his knickers in a. Twist when he's literally put in £1000 plus whatever he has contributed to the mortgage so far?

@youredeadtomesteven just to mention that if you split and sell now, there will be an exit fee for your fixed term mortgage if you end it early. It's usually quite hefty and best avoided if at all possible. You could maybe work things around the end date of your fixed term?

@youredeadtomesteven just to mention that if you split and sell now, there will be an exit fee for your fixed term mortgage if you end it early. It's usually quite hefty and best avoided if at all possible. You could maybe work things around the end date of your fixed term?

It's not helpful to ask OP why she agreed to the £5k for £1k arrangement. It's in the past and she needs to deal with the present and the future.

Legally then you both own 100% of the property, overlapping, in practice this forms to a 50 / 50 split, I may be wrong, but my understanding is a deed of trust can only work with Tennants in Common.

He doesn’t sound very bright. Definitely punching above his weight with OP.

Huge red flags here 🚩 🚩 🚩

Like the suggestion of appealing to his better nature and explaining he doesn’t need to give you the rest of what he owes you and you can either change the deed of trust so you have another 4K deposit and he has 1K.

Or you could change it so you have it all and he can buy you an engagement ring with the 1K you give him back. But do you think he will propose? And would you want him to? Or will he show himself to be the cocklodger he appears to be?

Just playing devil’s advocate…

I think he’s clinging on to you for dear life
and I would probably finish it with him. Or I would plan my exit route for the future.

He didn’t put in the £5k when he could have taken a loan out for the £5k. Maybe the reason he couldn’t take a loan out was because his credit history is shot to pieces.

over the years he has shown he can’t save - so this engagement ring is a ruse to keep you in the relationship.

mortgages can be terminated early, before the term ends (did you say 2028?) but it could have a penalty clause like you have to pay 2% or 5% of the outstanding balance to the bank to close the mortgage early.

when you next get into a relationship make sure the other person doesn’t have solvency issues and is financially responsible and has savings and preferably assets. You want to actually see the person’s saving book and bank account in their own individual name.

You can also go on the HMRC website with someone’s National insurance number and see where they have worked and how much they have earned for the past 5 years. This saves the BS you will get fobbed off with.

land registry shows what property is owned by whom.

even on minimum wage jobs, you can still save money, as long as you aren’t a spendthrift.

never get into a relationship with someone poorer than you. When you marry someone you also take on their debts, even if they later disappear you could be liable for debts they racked up during your time together.

you can also go into any high street bank and get an appointment (at the weekend sometimes) where you can discuss financial planning. This is all free as long as you bank with the bank.

Try and pay you say.. I'd of done this on my own .

How much does he earn?

He must be a low earner and/or have big debts and/or a gambling habit, if all he could contribute to the purchase was £1000.

Did you get any independent advice before deciding whether to buy as joint tenants (as opposed to tenants in common)?

I assume you have completed the purchase so it's too late to change the deed of trust and the ownership type. So it's a matter of damage limitation to be honest. Definitely put it in writing that he has contributed £1k and the £4k is a loan; he either pays you back or you recoup it from the sale of the property.

Could you afford to buy him out and change the ownership and mortgage to your name only? His equity is only £1k at this point!

You've received some good and knowledgeable advice on here, OP.

I'd print off the best of it and take it with you as a list of info / questions to a solicitor to get some solid answers & so prepare yourself to make good, secure choices. Time is money and it's always useful to have things written out in advance when you consult a solicitor. Makes for clarity.
I think you know the writing's on the wall for this relationship?
Definitely don't marry him and, as another poster advised, double up on the contraception.
Additionally, depending on the whereabouts of your property, don't expect house values to have increased much if at all. Property prices have stabilised and are dropping in many parts of the country - especially the expensive SE and London.

OP why is he so much less able to save than you?

How are living costs split? Are you each paying proportionally to earnings? Or is he expected to pay 50% of all household bills and living costs, while earning considerably less than you?

For me this is what determines this.

If he's paying in proportionally to take home pay, but just shit with money, then yeah you need shot of him and quick.

But if for the last good few years you've been expecting him to pay 50% of living costs while you earn loads more money, it might be that things have been unfair which is why he's been unable to save.

Which is it?

You need to speak to your mortgage provider to find out about exit fees.

you need to find a paper trail/bank account statement which proves he put in £1k rather than £5k. Emails?

are you in a relationship with this guy or are you just friends?

Try and get an appointment with your bank who will give you free advice, as chatrooms could give you conflicting advice.

maybe he could get the sale of the property and its split 50/50 if he suddenly starts saying he’s improved the property by painting walls, doing the gardening, changing lightbulbs, etc.

i think you need proper legal advice from a high street solicitor and get proper paperwork drawn up

personally I would looking for the exit route, as when you hit a certain age like 40, employers look to lay staff off and if he’s struggling already to get work or isn’t saving, this isn’t a good omen.

if you scratch the service you could find he’s paying alimony to ex-partners or has secret kids, gambling problem, or is secretly stashing his own savings money away from you that you don’t know about.

if you got a new place of your own you could rent out a spare room to provide yourself with income. If the income is over a certain amount a year, you have to declare it to the taxman and you get taxed on it.

all this information is freely available online, so do your research.

He could get 50/50 of the property.

What you could get as a mortgage is usually 4.5x your salary.

personally I would never marry or have kids with this guy. Make sure you use contraception.

Because mortgages have exit fees, potentially I would stay until 2027 if you can tolerate that, but make sure you have all your ducks in a row so you can have a clean break.

you need to be getting a high street solicitors advice, but before you book an appointment have proofs of your income, the emails which said he only paid £1k rather than £5k, the mortgage paperwork and have a think about everything he’s done in the house like painting, putting up shelves, changing lightbulbs, did he do the laundry and cooking whilst you were the breadwinner? All this matters.

never ever get in a serious relationship with someone earning less than you or has less assets than you.

This sets out what would happen. That’s why you had the deed of trust surely?

If you split up you get £23,000 and he gets £5,000. The rest is shared 50/50 between you. So if you’re buying him out, you need to pay him the £5,000 plus 50% of whatever equity there is after your £23,000 is deducted.

You need to start extracting yourself from this fast.

I have just divorced my husband because of financial issues and it has cost me as the main earner dearly. Please, please, please do not marry him and make a plan to get rid. A lifetime of misery awaits otherwise, take this from a 47 year old that has been burned!!

Find out what your maximum affordability is on your own and take it from there. If you can buy him out, do. Otherwise sell up. He is treating you like a complete mug and it will only get worse.

Agreed. I think he hoodwinked the OP from the get-go.

she had enough money to buy the property by herself but he got in on the act.

he then only paid in £1k. Crickey, I earned more than that shelf-stacking in a supermarket doing overtime in a fortnight as a teenager.

he’s been broke the whole time doesn’t bode well and he can’t save up. I bet he’s giving himself treats though.

Genuinely, she needs to finish it with this guy. And never get mixed up getting into loans, mortgages with people who are suspect financially, poor no assets, bad credit etc. what a nightmare.

OP, I'm afraid I recommend you get out of this as quickly as possible, and don't even dream about marrying this man.

You follow what the trust document says.

Usually it works like this.

House bought for 200k - irrelevant

Person A deposit £23k
Person B deposit £5k
House current value as agreed by both parties - £280k
Amount currently owed to mortgage company - £150k

You take the agreed current value, deduct the amount needed to clear the mortgage then the remainder is split as follows. Person A and B get their original deposits back, whatever is left is split 50/50 unless stated otherwise in your document.

So in this example, £280k minus the 150 is 130k to be divided.

Take off the 28k for the deposits, you have 102k to split, 51 each

Person A gets 23 + 51 = 74k
Person B gets 5 + 51 = 56k

If Person A wants to buy out B, she has to ask the mortgage company if they can lend her the original 150k plus the 56k needed to buy out Person B. So 206k total.

If thats impossible the house is sold and A and B get their shares as detailed above. Obviously swap out the example numbers for your own real ones.

There's no point arguing about who paid the 5k, you signed a contract and it's his money.

Also if he refuses to sell or be bought out, you'll have to take legal action to force the sale.

Agreed. I also agree with another poster - if he’s not earning much and you say to him 50/50 bill split, all his money could be going on the bills, then of course he won’t have spare money leftover.

that still doesn’t excuse the fact that staying with this man means you won’t be able to have kids as he will say he can’t afford them.

your life will be a total struggle going forward and you are basically subbing him.

it’s far better you split from him, start over with your own place. Don’t expect him to be in your life though. You will find he will quickly move on to another sugar mummy who pays all the bills, whilst he has some side piece.

Check with land registry how the house is owned between you - tennents in comment or joint tennants. You can access this info from land registry online for a few pounds. This is an important starting point as it shows if the property is owned 50/50 or something else. Once you find that out take legal advice.
He wont get back payments back but if he owns 50% of the house he is 50% responsible for the mortgage and entitled to 50% of the equity (increase in value since you bought it. I like the first response - offer him £5k to sign over the property to you and you will release him from responsibility. Your mortgage provicder wil advise if they would allow you to take over the mortgage in sole name or if they would make you end the mortgage (with fees) to then take out a new mortgage.

I imagine if he’s poor and thinks you are splitting up and he’s about to be penniless and homeless, he will start Googling for free information and getting a high street solicitor himself. Once he realises he can get 50% of the value of the property, he will dig his heels in hard and won’t make it easy for you. Also, his family will be 1000% behind him demanding 50% because they don’t want him forever sleeping on their sofas.